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What happens in Vegas mentality

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Booyah ( member #60124) posted at 6:41 PM on Tuesday, June 11th, 2019

There's a new thread in JFO entitled, "Bachelorette Party".

The OP had his fiancé/girlfriend cheat on him while in Vegas.

I guess men aren't the only pigs while in Vegas (as some here would lead you to believe).

posts: 1254   ·   registered: Aug. 11th, 2017
id 8391079
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TX1995 ( member #58175) posted at 7:28 PM on Tuesday, June 11th, 2019

I think there are certain people who are open to it and others who don't see it. My WH says he never saw the seedier, trashier side to conferences before going to them the past few years with his AP cOW. With her on board in his company, there was more drinking, dancing, bars, late nights - and before her it was only dinners and maybe a post dinner drink or two. She was always on the hunt for people to pay attention to her and those conferences - especially Vegas - are a great spot for it. No spouses, no kids, just lots of drinks and fancy meals on the company dime and hotel rooms galore.

(After DDay1 he told his boss no more conferences period and hasn't been back to one.)

On a personal note, I always loved Vegas b/c I love gambling (responsibly within limits just for entertainment). I went on my bachelorette weekend as well as other occasions for just girl weekends. There were many chances for me to hook up, but shockingly I know what boundaries are. Shitty people with shitty boundaries do shitty things no matter where they are and who they are surrounded by.

I'm the BS. WH had an EA/PA with a cOW. DDay was 4/17. Working on R. Married 15 years and together 20 at DDay. DDay #2 and #3 6/19. Grew a conscience and admitted a full blown physical affair. Current and forever status is reconciling.

posts: 1027   ·   registered: Apr. 6th, 2017   ·   location: Texas
id 8391105
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Hg65 ( member #49801) posted at 9:10 PM on Tuesday, June 11th, 2019

I live 2 hours from Vegas, I used to go a lot when husband was deployed ( I know, that sounds bad!) I would go for 2-3 days. I loved spending all day by the pool or go shopping and then go to super nice dinner alone. I would be back in hotel watching TV by 8:00!

I rarely had any issues and made sure I wasn’t putting out any vibes. My husband never had a problem with me going. It was nice.

Vegas is harmful if you have boundary issues, I suppose.

I am BW
Dday Oct 2013

posts: 1082   ·   registered: Sep. 30th, 2015
id 8391168
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WithGrace ( member #52013) posted at 12:02 AM on Wednesday, June 12th, 2019

Doesn't surprise me at all, the men you're running into there are probably some of the same men that I work with. Vegas is one of the places where a lot of the most awful male behavior I talk about often is on display. And those men who approached you likely approached dozens or 100's of other women over the course on their stay; that's how these type of men operate. It's a numbers game, you only need 'one yes' to make up for the sea of "nos".

The thing that always kills me about this, when women enter into an A, it's selecting for exactly that type of guy. The guy who hits on you in Vegas is also the kind of guy who'll make a move on you after work, or take conversation "too far" over lunch. You've self-selected into EXACTLY the group that you profess (no you personally, most women) to despise.

RIO, this makes it sound like the men are the only ones behaving badly. Women that go to Vegas and end up cheating are just as aware of what goes on there and know exactly what they are doing. Women are not innocent creatures in need of protection from the hordes of men "behaving badly". Women are just as capable of being free-spirited sexual creatures when they care to be. Can we please stop with the sweeping generalizations about women's sexuality?

"I have passed through fire and deep water, since we parted. I have forgotten much that I thought I knew, and learned again much that I had forgotten." ― J.R.R. Tolkien, The Lord of the Rings

posts: 123   ·   registered: Feb. 26th, 2016   ·   location: Canada
id 8391287
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