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I had quite the bunny boiler on my hands. I’m not psychologist but I would bet money that she had borderline personality disorder.

First she packed up all her shit and up and quit overnight. (They worked together)

Then when that didn’t get the reaction she wanted, she went to the police and gave a detailed video report that he sexual assaulted her 3 times. He did not. He got called down to the station and fingerprinted!

When that didn’t work, she called his professional organization with all kinds of accusations, but one of them got him in big trouble and he actually had to pay her $5000 (along with court fees, and a fine) and lost his licence for 6 months!

My WH's AP wasn't a bunny boiler after Dday, but I was very worried that she would be. She had admitted that she was stalking us through her young teen daughter's social media connection with our young son. She was laughing it off at the dinner party where, I found out almost a year later, she made a pass at my WH and the affair began. Once I discovered the A, I had to tell our 13-year-old son about the A so that he could block all of his connections with her daughter. This was weeks before my father/his grandfather died. Meanwhile, the AP's daughter, of course, has never been told why and thinks my son is a jerk for blocking her. She was able to keep her daughter from knowing what happened, whereas my son had to be told everything immediately. He was heartbroken.

Because of this pre-A stalking, I thought for sure she'd turn out to be a bunny boiler. I told her best friend and another mutual acquaintance immediately about what had happened, hoping to avert that craziness. I heard from one of them that she was very afraid of me, and that probably stopped her worst impulses. Just after Dday, I threatened to tell her children. I never would have, but it was good leverage when I needed to confirm some details before I cut her off. I suspect that my son, now almost 16, and her same-aged daughter will end up together at some point and the truth will come out. My son has integrity; that means he's not going to lie if confronted about this situation. I'm sorry for her kids. Her marriage did not survive. She plays very hard at being (overinvolved) mother-of-the-year. I'm sure her kids will be devastated when they find out that their parents divorced because she was sleeping with the married fathers of her daughter's friends.

[This message edited by GrayShades at 7:41 PM, September 25th (Wednesday)]

Sometimes it's our own cheating spouses who are the 'bunny boilers,' and it's not just women who turn crazy.

I found out so many awful things about my cheating ex after he left me that I now question my judgment when it comes to other people.

I found out that he snapped on a girlfriend some years ago who caught him in bed with another woman. He held a gun on the girlfriend, and then drug her out of his carport by her hair. Behavior that, had I known about it, would have certainly kept me from marrying him, let alone dating him.

After leaving me, he was full of rage that I had outed him to people - so he went on a threatening rampage, screaming and cursing at me on the phone, telling horrible lies ABOUT me behind my back. Because of this, I now have no relationship with most of his family, including my stepdaughter.

My FWH's AP wasn't a bunny boiler but a predator.

She knew he was having mental issues & that he lived a great life (new cars, nice house, nice cloths etc) and that we were separated. She started cozying up to him and visiting him because she want someone to save her from her "horrible" marriage and my FWH is a KISA.

What she didn't factor into play is that MamaDragon can be very vindictive and will burn you in some form or fashion if you wrong her. Which I did.

Her BS was told, her boss was informed (they worked together), every where she works if I am in the area I make sure to tell them "SHE doesn't touch me even if I need CPR"...I showed up to work events, kept my eye on her social media and knew her schedule better than she did...and somehow we ended up doing our shopping at the same time at the same place. So I guess I'm the bunny boiler? To be fair though, she did try everything in her power to get him to leave me even after DD...

Am I proud of what I did? meh...yes and no. I let her know that I would be watching her and if she stepped out of line just once, her butt was going to be toast. I'd ruin her education chance and her career field worse than what I already had. FWIW, she married a guy after her divorce that looks eerily like my hubby. It is weird. totally weird!!!

The AP in my situation was crazy and stalked for 7 months while dating the man she was to eventually marry. Tried so many things, etc, etc.

She was finally moved to another location.

So, the guy she married, he was in prison for 7 years for killing the boyfriend of a woman he was secretly seeing. The guy was suspicious came home and found them. He shot the boyfriend, ran away, his the weapon and then finally turned himself in. He’s also been in prison for drugs, dwi and stealing.

I keep thinking when we finally move out of state I’ll send him a complete accounting of her stalking. But would that make me the crazy one? So probably won’t.