SurvivingInfidelity.com^®

BTA, I don't think it's wrong for you to wait until after the holidays to start taking steps to separate. Have you told your IC about your plan? She can work with you to find ways to cope in the mean time. The 180 is your friend. Stick to it and get yourself some emotional space during this time.

Yes Mars I am aware of that, thank you. The length of time is not lost on me. I know that those who get it a very long time after DDay are few and far between.

Neko, my IC is aware and we have been discussing it. Trying to work on the 180 but it is difficult as you know, especially with getting things done for the holidays (yes, Thanksgiving and Christmas will be at my house - maybe it will be a good distraction). Got through my birthday, on to Thanksgiving...

I wish you strength and send you support !

You take whatever time you need, however waiting for the holidays may in hindsight be just more time play.

But you have followed your own self determined pace from day one, despite substantive 2x4s from everyone incl myself .

I am on the other side - life is better than what is was before even though there are tough days.

Keep on going, one day at the time .

Thank you atg. And yes, I am painfully aware of all the 2x4s but I need to process this in my own way and in my own time. WH will either prove to me that he's worth it or that he's not, but I will have given him enough time to show me one way or the other. Glad things are going well for you. One day at a time is the way I do things now.