SurvivingInfidelity.com^®

Porn was my fWH's gateway drug. So for him, he set the boundary of no porn use, and I completely agree in his situation. If your friend set "no porn" as a boundary and her H chose to ignore it, that's a problem. It's the lack of respect he's showing her that is a red flag here.

It's not the porn use per se that's the problem in most cases; its the nature of the relationship the porn viewer has developed with it. And if it's more important than the wishes of your partner, well, that is evidence that whatever they're getting from porn is better to them than what they believe they're getting from their partner. And that needs to be discussed openly and honestly between them.

speaking as someone who has a lifetime of experience with porn, and by that I mean roughly 35 years of viewing it in one form or another, it's my opinion that there is no healthy version of it

even if you deem it "classy", it's still porn... you're still getting aroused by the visual of someone other than your spouse... you're mentally inviting someone else into your bed

also not to be lost in it all... you're watching someone's daughter, someone's son... every time you watch, you're entering into an inappropriate relationship with the people on the screen... sometimes we forget that they actually ARE people on the screen, and that disconnection can all too often transfer over into real life, into our marriages, affecting the relationship with our spouse, who is the ONLY one we should be experiencing that level of intimacy with

just the humble opinion of a former porn addict, and FWH

[This message edited by Razorbyrd at 12:18 PM, January 2nd (Thursday)]