SurvivingInfidelity.com^®

I want to give you some hope here, but I'm so sad to read that he went and did this against your very clear boundaries/wishes. If he can do that with such an important one, he can ignore any boundary.

I mean no disrespect, but trying to illuminate: you told him it was a "dealbreaker." Was it? If it wasn't, then he knows that dealbreakers aren't dealbreakers.

The biggest issue is that she works with/ him.

This is an insurmountable problem if it stays as-is. He literally had a secret conversation with her against your wishes yesterday. Why won't he do it the next time he's in the office?

~

I don't see your (marital) situation as completely hopeless, but having read your whole story, it's concerning that he's treating you like this right up to today after 8 years of this nonsense.

I guess we’re going to try to work it out.

Worried for you.

The biggest issue is that she works with/ him.

Is he going to do anything to change this? If not, the A will continue, even if it's from afar.

I'm afraid that they may have come up with a story and a plan when he supposedly broke up with her without you. So, when he calls her in front of you to assure you, she knows just what to do.

Ditto what everyone else has said about not doing his work for him. He knows what he needs to do. He'll get it done if he's sincere. If he doesn't, you will know he's not remorseful.

This all probably sounds very defeating to you. You're thinking he's finally doing something and we're saying to be wary. We just want to help you do what's best for you. Wait and watch.