Last week ended on a bad note. I asked WH to stay in a hotel for the weekend so the kids and I could have a sense of calm or lack of his attitude. It was the last weekend before our older son moves back to college. I have been anxious for 2 reasons: 1. Having my son leave again and 2. when I was last at my son’s college is when my WH had the prostitute come to our house.
Anyway, WH refused to stay in a hotel. It was a tense weekend. He wanted to make it look like “happy family”, go out to dinner etc. The kids wanted nothing to do with him, the meals out were awkward. WH was sizing up every woman in the restaurants. I found $500 in hundred dollar bills in the nightstand in the guest room. Our mc had told him under no circumstances should he have cash (gambling & prostitute).
Sunday morning, he woke me up at 4:30am to tell me he’d decided to go to the casino. He wanted me to go with. I thought it was a bluff on his part so I said “sure”. He drove like a crazy person to get there, scouted out the parking lot for the OW’s car, did a lap around the interior of the casino to show me what it looked like. She wasn’t there apparently. He parked me at a slot machine and went to gamble on his own. I hate gambling. I won a nominal amount of money and cashed out. I got an iced tea and went to sit outside.
After about an hour he texted that he was ready to go. He came out looking thrilled. He’d won $500, said I was his lucky charm & that he’d give me the money. By the time the afternoon rolled around, he’d secreted the money away somewhere.
By evening, I decided to look at his phone. He had unblocked the OW on what’s app. He was asleep when I saw this. I woke him up (it was 9:30, which he claimed was the middle of the night—but hey, when you get up to be at a casino by 4:30, maybe 9:30 is the middle of the night) and asked him why she was unblocked. He claimed he didn’t do it and it was a glitch in his phone.
Ok... so I flat out asked him why he was insisting on mc, if he intended to make this work or what his objective was. He said he didn’t know marriage vows meant forever, and that even though he’s not with the OW anymore, he doesn’t think he wants to be married. However, he wants a “9 month extension” until our youngest graduates from high school, longer if things seem to be going well.
Yesterday I texted him that he should get an apartment. He resisted in the first reply, then said he would do so (our son’s first day of senior year—the one who had his bd exploded because my WH disclosed his shenanigans on that day). I told him to stay in a hotel last night. He flat out refused.
Argument last night. He told both kids he would be only a few blocks away and that I’d created a hostile home environment. He would still be around the house to visit.
I lost it at that point. Told him no, he wouldn’t. That I’d let his medical practice know he brought a prostitute in during working hours and had sex with her there. That I’d call the medical board. That I’d sue him for giving me an STD.
His mother called prior to this—as of last week she still thought I was just being a moody wife who was giving her son a hard time. I told her flat out it’s hard to be upbeat and happy when WH is sleeping with a stripper/hooker in my own home. Last night she said she knew he loved me very much and had made a big mistake.
I feel like I’m living in the twilight zone. WH said he’s into erotic choking and cutting. Um, I’m not. Never will be.
So, yes I’ve got the wool firmly removed from my eyes. My most pressing issue today is, will he move out this weekend while I am gone with our older son (to the out of state college move in)? Our younger son is in counseling because of this clusterfuck and he shouldn’t be left alone. I have a sneaking suspicion WH does intend to move—he feels our younger son has “sided” with me and WH is essentially writing him off.
[This message edited by Desertedindesert at 11:32 AM, August 18th (Tuesday)]
