Hey me too! But forgiving someone and moving on doesn’t mean you need to be friends with the person who harmed you. I’ve forgiven my rapist too but I’m not going to invite him over to play dominoes.
Exactly. MyandI you're essentially saying your wife isn't as forgiving as you are just because she doesn't want to be friends with a woman who had sex with her husband.
By the way, seriously?! What do you think they're going to do? Compare notes. This is disgusting. How can you honestly think your wife wants to sit and talk to a woman who her husband was sexual with for THREE YEARS. Your wife was being played by both of you. You both enjoyed this game. And this is supposed to be someone your wife 'should' according to you, hang out with. You asked in the last post about mind movies. So you think hanging out with the real thing, having that woman next to you, going to be a good idea?. You cantbe serious.
No one has to do that to be forgiving. You aren't more forgiving than her. You just care less about the violation of the OM that had sex with your wife. It's normal for people to not want to be around people who slept with their spouses let alone those who played them and pretended tonbe their friend. Yes, she pretended. She wasn't her friend. You of all people should know that. Unless you think demonstrating her love for your wife included sleeping with you. How lovely.
Now your wife is left with mind movies and pain. Forever. What a nice friend. What a loving husband.
This isn't forgiveness or acceptance. You want your OW around. If your wife posted that in the general or R forum, that's exactly what she'd be told. And same if a BH said that his WW told him that. This is some king of desire you have to have things back to normal. But you're not talking about forgiveness. You're literally talking about the equivalent of a victim hanging out with their rapist.
And btw it's not affairs that cause destruction. It's the people who have them. As in, you and the selfish OW who didn't enough about your wife to not sleep with her husband, did that. The 2 of you ruined the friendships. Just a subtle difference in wording, because it's important that full accountability is taken. You two did that.
And that's the least of your problems. You've got a marriage to rebuild and a wife who is and will be in pain and traumatised for years to come.
Why are you even thinking about the OW of you love your wife so much? Isn't that love so consuming that you don't have time to think about the OW who stabbed her in the back?
If you were really a former WH you would be more indifferent to the OW, not actively thinking about her and how fun it would be to hang out.