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WhatsRight ( member #35417) posted at 2:47 PM on Sunday, August 18th, 2019
Hope the AP comes by the house for a jog; he may feel a sting....
Bahahahahahahahahahahaha
"Noone can make you feel inferior without your concent." Eleanor Roosevelt
I will not be vanquished. Rose Kennedy
AFL1000 ( member #66483) posted at 8:02 AM on Monday, August 19th, 2019
Hi ATG
My initial thought was to post and wish you good luck for tomorrow's mediation. But then I thought the last thing ATG needs is luck. You have done all you possibly could to prepare for the mediation negotiations.
Your very soon XW has stated repeatedly that she will not take you to the cleaners. Well I hope that she honours that statement and shows you the respect you deserve in these negotiations because she sure as hell showed you no respect by embarking on her affair and the shitstorm she put you through over the past year.
Remember tomorrow's negotiations with her are just a business transaction. No love; no emotions! I hope your mediator is truly impartial, and if necessary, sees through any legal manoeuvrings that your STBXW and her lawyer may try at the mediation. I am sure your lawyer will intercede if necessary.
It is my fervent wish that you get a ruling that is fair and equitable and provides you with the spring board to move forward and start a new and exciting phase of your life for you and the kids.
paboy ( member #59482) posted at 8:42 AM on Monday, August 19th, 2019
Hope things work out well for you tomorrow ATG.
Atg100 (original poster member #66119) posted at 9:55 AM on Monday, August 19th, 2019
Thank you.
I had some relatively good news -
My private business is not worth much.
And then something odd happened -
My father in law rang and quizzed me about money.
I just told him, how much debt I have got and that the future is bleak.
He then said - why don’t you wait with the separation until you are more established .
I told him that I think about going back into public full time ...
What an asshole .
Although - my ex knows all me details.
Why does he need to make such a phone call?
paboy ( member #59482) posted at 10:07 AM on Monday, August 19th, 2019
Sorry ATG, I had to laugh about you and the father in law. The apple doesn't fall to far from the tree.
Although, I still have this suspicion that your ex is trying to rope you back in, and the in-laws are trying to assist.
Be mindful.
Atg100 (original poster member #66119) posted at 10:17 AM on Monday, August 19th, 2019
Won’t happen, don’t worry.
I wouldn’t trust myself, I have to admit, I’m far too nice.
My lawyer however, isn’t .
steadychevy ( member #42608) posted at 1:02 PM on Monday, August 19th, 2019
Your father-in-law is quite the negotiator. Obviously thinking about the best for you. That was so transparent it's hilarious. You should make yourself worth more so my daughter will get more.
Do you wonder why your WW (soon to be XWW) is the way she is? She learned it at the dinner table.
BH(me)72(now); XWW 64; M 42 yrsDDay1-01/09/13;DDay2-26/10/13;DDay3-19/12/13;DDay4-21/01/14LTA-09/02-06/06? OM - COW 4 years; "dates" w/3 lovers post engagement;ONS w/stranger post commitment, lies, lies, liesSeparated 23/09/2017; D 16/03/2020
Freeme ( member #31946) posted at 1:02 PM on Monday, August 19th, 2019
He then said - why don’t you wait with the separation until you are more established.
Wow! 
My guess is that THAT was what her face to face with you was about. So she could gauge how much effect she still had on you...The blame-shifting was to establish who's fault the affair was and was her version of an apology (Nars version)..."You need to apologize to me for neglecting me and making me have the affair." When her "apology" didn't work... she wanted you to beg her to give it one more shot.
She doesn't want to be married to you. But, she also seems to be having a hard time with the fact that you don't want to be married to her. She also doesn't like losing her stability.
The waiting to ask for the info on your private practice was probably to prolong the separation, delay the process and hope that the practice would improve if given more time.
You are doing great but you are going to be doing a lot better once this divorce is finished.
Marz ( member #60895) posted at 4:41 PM on Monday, August 19th, 2019
My father in law rang and quizzed me about money.
I just told him, how much debt I have got and that the future is bleak.
He then said - why don’t you wait with the separation until you are more established .
I told him that I think about going back into public full time ...
What an asshole .
Although - my ex knows all me details.
Why does he need to make such a phone call?
He wants a better deal for her. Get the separation now then you can increase your income.
Blood is thicker than water. It's obvious he can't be trusted.
I'd cut off the contact now
Scoobydoo ( member #70007) posted at 4:45 PM on Monday, August 19th, 2019
Thankful you have a Shark for a lawyer 
Toooo many Dday's over 27 yrs,
Separated from Scooby 'Dum' 19/08/2019
Before you diagnose yourself with depression, or low self esteem,
First make sure you are not surrounded by an Asshole/s.
NoOptTo ( member #62958) posted at 10:18 PM on Monday, August 19th, 2019
Wishing you the best in your mediation ATG. Hope for the best, prepare for the worst. I dont believe that your STBXWW will stick to her word of NOT taking you to the cleaners.
Then again, you have shown your honor and dignity threw out this ordeal. This is something she can never take away from you.
Atg100 (original poster member #66119) posted at 5:01 AM on Tuesday, August 20th, 2019
Mediation is over .
She agreed to my initial offer, which was my starting bid.
She asked for higher child maintenance payments for 3 years - the sum of the initial payout plus the ongoing child support are pretty close to my bottom line .
But now I can pay part of it off in fortnightly payments rather than having to find a lump sum .
I was asked to go to her and she was very upset, asked if I was okay and continued crying.
Consequences - it looks like she only realised today, what they are .
I’m writing this from the mediation - she then refused to sign and wanted to think about things.
Now the lawyers went into an extra round of talks.
I think we are getting there - it’s all unusual .
[This message edited by Atg100 at 11:13 PM, August 19th (Monday)]
Atg100 (original poster member #66119) posted at 5:35 AM on Tuesday, August 20th, 2019
Now she finally agreed.
I have got time to sit here and post , because there is nothing I can do but wait.
But it looks like we have got a deal which is ok for me and I can move forward.
Yes , it’s a lot more money than what she deserves.
But reality is / it’s better than a combined court order and legal costs in a years time - when the value of my business would have increased.
So I got away with some acceptable damage.
paboy ( member #59482) posted at 5:38 AM on Tuesday, August 20th, 2019
Yep she now she's real consequences.
Marz ( member #60895) posted at 5:38 AM on Tuesday, August 20th, 2019
Nice going man. I'm glad it worked out acceptable for you.
Has she signed off?
Marz ( member #60895) posted at 5:42 AM on Tuesday, August 20th, 2019
But reality is / it’s better than a combined court order and legal costs in a years time - when the value of my business would have increased.
You are correct. You can make it up later.
Might have to tighten your belt but you'll be rid of the millstone that's been around your neck.
Atg100 (original poster member #66119) posted at 5:45 AM on Tuesday, August 20th, 2019
Yes, she signed a binding agreement.
I can hear the collective sigh of the SI community and I know some of you want to hit me with a 2x4:
Part of me feels sorry for her.
Marz ( member #60895) posted at 5:48 AM on Tuesday, August 20th, 2019
Nostalgic moments are fleeting. Temper that with what she's put you and your kids through for a little fun and excitement.
If it's binding you'd be well advised to double down on no contact.
You've lingered in this long enough
Atg100 (original poster member #66119) posted at 6:53 AM on Tuesday, August 20th, 2019
I felt sad for her , because she really fucked up.
And she is the mother of my children.
But - I’m so glad that this is over and that I now only have to deal with her on co-parenting issues .
And her behaviour today made my decision easy.
Marz ( member #60895) posted at 7:01 AM on Tuesday, August 20th, 2019
And her behaviour today made my decision easy.
How so?
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