SurvivingInfidelity.com^®

Rule of thumb: If any lawyer, off the bat, tells you what can't be done, get rid of him. That attitude gives you a glimpse into his mindset.

[This message edited by MidnightRun at 2:59 PM, November 17th (Friday)]

Nice convo, Ithasfeels. Nice convo!

So pissed from that conversation, she really is just a self-serving POS. I played basketball today for 4 hours straight just so I could blow off steam, now I'm exhausted. My work is flying me out to Georgia this weekend for a transport job then I have a part-time interview at UPS on Monday for holiday help just to keep myself busy since school doesn't start until January.

As far as lawyer stuff goes, I emailed him everything and it's all taken care of. CS and I won't be talking anymore, I'm definitely not returning text messages after that convo where she tried to guilt me into shit like it's all my fault.

Anyway, just blowing off some steam. I know I post here a ton daily and often about nothing so sorry about that

The more that you post the more that we can help you. I wish that every betrayed posted as much as you do.

IHF,

There is never, ever, any need to apologise for posting here. Going through this process is tough, and sometimes we don't have anyone at hand that we can talk to, vent to, or just shoot the breeze with.

The beauty of this forum is that no matter where you are, and no matter what the time is, you are only a couple of clicks away from a whole community of people who know what you are going through, and who will always welcome you, because they - we - know how much it means to have someone care enough to listen.

So if you need to post ten times a day, please do it. We all understand that need, and those of us who were helped in our time of need know how much it meant to us, and want to pay that back by helping others. So you will never wear out your welcome here, IHF!

SI is an asset.

You'll never wear out your welcome.

We understand.

"I'm not sure if you realize this young lady ..."

Is this an exact quote of what you said to her?

Sounds like you are reprimanding your daughter.

Are you sure there isn't some kind of daddy issue/daddy complex thing involved in your relationship, which would be strange since she was the breadwinner?

I can't speak for OP, but calling her a "young lady" more than likely had NOTHING TO DO with (or sounding like he was "reprimanding his daughter", but rather calling out a woman who's actions were/are like a SPOILED LITTLE CHILD THROWING A TEMPER TANTRUM BECAUSE SHE WASN'T GETTING HER WAY".

I def said it to be a condescending ass, mostly because she was acting like a child. I swear I can say it in person and it sounds less creepy lmao

but the more I read into our limited conversations the more I'm seeing that me not having a job and going to school for so long really built up a lot of resentment in her. She always said it was cool, but would express at times how it "wasn't fair" she had to go to work and I got to stay home and go to school (let us not forget I earned this privilege by being in the military and thus was paid to go to school)

we just weren't right for each other, it's pretty obvious now. she wanted to be a stay at home mom type, the rich husband who provides, the princess dream. i like to live basic and bare bones and instead use money to travel

we just weren't right for each other, it's pretty obvious now. she wanted to be a stay at home mom type, the rich husband who provides, the princess dream. i like to live basic and bare bones and instead use money to travel

Let me correct your statement.

we just weren't right for each other, it's pretty obvious now. she wanted to be a lazy ass no good slut type, the rich husband who provides, the princess dream. i like to live an honest life with a not so lazy ass no good slut type.

Reminder:

Establish a regular excercise schedule.

Today she came and picked up the rest of her stuff. I left the to go out for awhile so I wouldn't have to see her. Now I'm back in the apartment and it feels so empty.

Granted, I don't miss any of the stuff she took. I don't feel entitled to it in any way. It was just decorations, clothes, her journals she kept since she was a sophomore in highschool (I read through them all just recently and finished the last one today to get more inspiration for my novel) and trinkets we collected together. Still, I can't help to be sad about it.

I know I'll feel better as time goes on but I'm not feeling too great now. I don't even want to think about what an ass she is for doing this to us, honestly I just miss her--no, I miss what we had before. This whole process is horrible and I wouldn't wish it on anyone. I'm looking forward to when I can finally heal and I don't feel this way anymore. I can't even think about another woman, being with another woman, or anything like that. I just want to get past this.

Tonight will be a rough one.

[This message edited by Ithasfeels at 8:51 PM, November 20th (Monday)]

I think you were subconcsiously expecting a different response to your letter and you got rather upset/angry. I think there is nothing wrong with that considering her abrupt change. Normal to feel sad today as it is another symbolic step. She is all handy dandy now. Who knows what the future brings especially considering her rather selfish expectations. Your best response is to do your best and excell in whatever you choose to do. Keep your cool when you have to interact with her. You will and must get over this temporary setback thinking everything happen for a good reason

Yeah, I know you're right. I'm not holding on to that hope we'll get back together or anything. It's still sad is all, like you said it's just one more symbolic thing moving forward. I don't much like being alone. It has to happen and I'll be better for it, doesn't make it any easier.

You were smart to leave.

It’s ok to feel that way. Just know that there will be a day that you can look back on this and realize that it was only one stage of your life, and there were even better ones to come.

What’s up with your job and school?

Take care.

Brother...

Stop engaging her by text. If she calls or sees you face to face and she tries that crap again, you need to memorize three statements.

"I'm sorry you feel that way."

"I see it differently."

"You do what you feel you have to do. I will do the same."

Not only do these prevent you from engaging, but they are like holding up a mirror. And I promise you, no matter what her bluster may say, part of her hates herself for what she has done...as she projects that anger on to you.

Do not engage.

It,

What happened today is absolutely a crappy way to spend a day. Just know that these days will be getting less and less. You are a kick ass guy and kick ass guys know that the way to not have a shitty Day is to go out and make a great one.

So go join a gym. Crossfit ones are great for infidelity workouts since you’ll be part of a community and instructors will generally tell you what to do. You don’t need to figure out how to program workouts on top of everything else.

Hi all,

I just wanted to post an update because this forum has been an amazing source of support for me during the worst of times. To anyone reading this, SI is an amazing place. If you've taken the time to read my post history it's obvious I've went through the whole spectrum of grief 10x over but I've been doing a lot better.

So here's the update:

Thanksgiving was rough, I decided to go it alone this year to avoid probing questions. Got a good cry in, that kind of stuff. The day before she sent me an email

Subject: Sorry

I'm so sorry I did this to you. I can't help but picture you alone on Thanksgiving and I hope that isn't true. I wish I could think of something eloquent to say but I can't, I'm not sure how to end this but I just hope you can find some kind of happiness to hang on to. I will always want that for you. Always have.

Naturally I didn't respond. I'm sticking to the 180 as planned.

Today a text came in:

10am

Her: Our insurance policy for the house got cancelled because of the renters pitt bull. I had to get a new policy and it's $17 more expensive.

(I didn't respond)

10:45am

Her: Please respond so I know you got this message

(I didn't respond)

11:30am

Her: How's the book?

(I didn't respond)

I still haven't responded and don't intend to, but something tells me the text messages will continue if I don't. We haven't talked or text since she came to pick up stuff last Monday and those messages were one liners, if that.

The thing is:

1. I probably need to transfer her some money this month to cover 1/2 the portion of the bills

2. Should I just transfer her the half without saying anything to her at all? Or should I respond back (maybe tomorrow) saying I transferred $800 to help out with bills and leave it at that?

Any advice would be appreciated.

Hope everyone is having a nice day. I was until I got these messages. Ever wish your CS would just burst into flames and return to the pits of hell whence they came?

Stop looking for reasons to contact. Instead look for reasons not to.

It’s hard upfront but will become normal.

All her words are cheater script nothing more.

Communicate with her like you would a coworker that you don't particularly like. Direct, businesslike.