SurvivingInfidelity.com^®

I can only think of illegal, near death, explosive or racketeering type things, many of which I worry about authorities finding me for decades later even though nobody ever got hurt and the only property that ever got damaged was public.

Also, if you teach in public schools, LOCK UP YOUR POTASSIUM SAMPLES.

The most tame thing I can relate is learning why you don't restart a campfire with a gas can. The gas can blowing out of my hands and 3 yards over, tailing smoke, is only funny because I didn't explode to death. I fear my children and their teen years.

eta:

I realized this was way to tedious of a job so I poured gas all over the street and lit it on fire.

I knew I was not alone in setting stretches of roads on fire.

[This message edited by StillGoing at 1:59 PM, February 3rd (Friday)]

This really wasn't my fault but this thread made me think of it...

Back in the 70's when I was in school, I only enjoyed science class on the days we played with mercury!

I liked playing with mercury so much that I'd break glass thermometers every chance I had in order to collect the mercury and spend an afternoon playing with it.

[This message edited by Rise And Shine at 3:01 PM, February 3rd (Friday)]

My wife did the same thing but it hasn't affected her flippers much ...

Ok mine's tame next to you guys.

When I was 8 or 9, I made a huge puddle in the back yard and laid out some paper towels as lily pads. I thought that tons of frogs would think it was a pond.

Still no frogs.

The 70's was the BEST decade to grow up in!

Besides being able to play with mercury, that was the decade where we didn't just play lawn darts. We WHIPPED them at each other!

It was the decade of fresh mimeograph paper- the most beautiful smell on earth to every child in the classroom!

The whole class would sniff their mimeograph until the teacher made us put our paper down and get to work!

Just a bunch of 3rd graders stoned on mimeograph ink...but those were the days!

[This message edited by Rise And Shine at 3:26 PM, February 3rd (Friday)]

I learned to do a headstand in dance class and I was very proud.

I wanted the kids on the Brady Bunch to see my new skill, so I used to stand on my head while watching the show, thinking they could see me!

Here’s a couple more:

I was born between two brothers. I was their guinea pig for just about everything. If they wanted to practice the newest wrestling move, they used me. If they needed a female lead in any TV show they were trying to recreate, they used me. After awhile, there wasn’t much they did that amazed our parents.

One day, they decided to replicate an episode of Batman where Catwoman gets tied to a tree by the Joker (as I recall) and the Joker starts the tree on fire to – of course – get Batman to come rescue her so the Joker can mix it up with Batman. My older brother played the Joker; younger brother, Batman. You guessed it…I was Catwoman. They bound my hands, had me scream and yell as a damsel in distress, tied me to a tree, and started the tree on fire from the back first (Thank You, God).

It was summer and the tree was near the kitchen window. Our mother was doing dishes as the smoke billowed into the house, and without skipping a beat, she glanced outside, and calmly yelled out the window, “Boys, untie your sister and put the fire out.”

This said tree was a twin to another chestnut tree which took up most of our backyard. When it would release the chestnuts, the neighborhood kids would always come and steal them. Like anyone really cared, yet my younger bro must have thought they were street currency or something and he’d get all upset. So this “almost” Irish Twin brother of mine (one year, 5 days between us) decides that he’s going to beat the rush one day. My second-story bedroom window faced the backyard, so he convinces me to allow him to hang me out the window so that I can grab the chestnuts and put them into my shirt while he is holding onto my ANKLES.

Problem #1 – Chestnuts still in their shells have prickly thorns. It’s a miracle I have boobs today. Problem #2 - Unbeknownst to either of us, our grandmother who was watching us that day, came into my room to put some laundry away, walks right behind him – remember, he’s holding me by the ankles two stories up – and screams at the top of her lungs “What the hell are you two doing?” She startles my brother to hell, he loses his grip on my ankles a bit, almost drops me, reaches for me out the window, requiring our grandmother to reach out the window and grab him to reel us both in.

Yep. Happy, happy days.

I once let my younger sister (21 months younger) talk me into getting into a red wagon, tied to the back of her bike for a ride down a steep hill at the top of our street. Of course the wagon was NOT under control and going all over the place ... so intead of riding it out, I decided to leap out the side and landed head first against a cement curb, getting a concussion. I also jumped off a carnival ride (ferris wheel) when I was about 6 because the operator wouldn't stop it and let me off. I leaped as we come down, the next chair hit me in the head. Surprised I didn't kill myself back then!

I was always a defiant dare-devil. So here's another one. A second cousin and I, same age, always clashed. I was better at him than softball or anything else we tried because I was little and fast and he was sort of over weight and sluggish. We were very competitive. His grandmother was my GREAT grandmother and he did not want me near her as he was jealous. One family gathering, we were all outside for a huge family picnic. There was a tree stump there with a little hand hatchet stuck in it. He warned me if I took one more step closer to HIS Grandmother, he'd hit me with that ax. So I DID, I just HAD to see if he'd do it .. and he did, hitting me right in the forehead by my hairline.. with that ax. I had 6 stitches and can still see the scar today, We were both about 7 years old. He later apologized over and over (especially after he got a spanking:) ... and we later became good friends.

But I had to take that ONE extra step ...!

I really, really wanted to be an ice skater, but since we had no money for ice skates I went out on the ice in roller skates.

What an awesome thread!!

My disclaimer...I have been told I have a genius-level IQ. Apparently, that does not necessarily translate into real-life intelligence.

1. When I was 3, my brother and sister spent hours playing "fetch" with me by throwing objects out into the snow in our back yard and telling me they would get in trouble for throwing it out there. So I retrieved every item they threw out there.

2. When I was 9, I tried to walk on a basketball. (I think I had seen the circus on TV recently) I fell off and broke my arm. But the best part of that story is that when we went to the ER, I changed my story because I was embarrassed. My dad had already told the basketball story to the registrations clerk, so the nurse's antennae were up. (2 different stories often=abuse) The doctor asked me, "Holly, did you do this all by yourself?" And for the first, and only, time in my entire life, I decided I was shy. I wouldn't say a word. Just looked at my dad with these big eyes. He was thinking he was definitely going to beat me if I didn't say something.

3. 6 weeks later I broke the same arm again. Unwitnessed. Fell down stairs at some friends' house. My parents had to take me back to the same ER. This time they took me in a little room by myself and asked a LOT of questions. I'm pretty sure family services had a file on us.

4. When I was.... I don't know, about 6, my cousin and I were staying at our grandparents' house. We decided to hitchhike. To Virginia from South Carolina. A man stopped and had the door open, and we were literally putting our feet into the car when my GM caught us. She dragged us into the house and beat us both at the same time. She looked like a windmill with both arms flying. That one still makes me shudder.

5. In high school, I was on a band trip. My roommates dared me to pose for a picture in the parking lot. I went into the parking lot with only panties and a crop top, and was cracking these 2 whips I had bought at the western shop in Frontierland. There was another group of guys who started yelling at me and I was posing and yelling back at them when I heard someone behind me say, "Is there something I can help you with?" It was the band director. I said, "Nope, I was just about done. I'm gonna go on back in my room now." He threatened to send me home early but ultimately just yelled at me a lot.

6. In college, I met a carny at the fair. He was gorgeous, but...a carny, KWIM? But he was seriously hitting on me so I decided to go for a joyride with him. Turned into the most bizarre experience of my life, which involved him having a foot fetish and using my feet to... um never mind. That one also makes me shudder.

How I didn't end up dead in some landfill somewhere, I will never know. Someone looking out for me is all I can guess.

I have thought about this all day, what I would contribute to this thread.

I also was a child of the 70's.

Picture this:

Black, thick, plush carpeting in our bathroom. I know, what were my parents thinking.

1 brand new bottle of Shower to Shower powder.

Bath time for my sister and I.

Use your imagination here.

This was the only, and I mean only time I got a spanking.

And I can honestly say I don't blame my Mom.

Here's a small sampling:

I was so overjoyed that school was over for the summer, I naturally thought it was proper to celebrate by burning a school notebook. I doused it with nail polish remover and set it afire. In the bathroom at midnight. When the flames were a bit more scary than I anticpated, I tried tossing the fireball into the toilet, burning the heck out of the seat. When confronted by my understandably angry and baffled mom, I innocently denied it. I offered the explaination that someone had broken in and burned the seat while we slept. I never did admit it but, since my sisters were married and gone, I looked guilty.

I lived in a suburb known for being filled with pink flamingo lawn ornaments. One night a bunch of us went around stealing them and came up with the brilliant idea to decorate our high schools lawn with them. We got caught, hauled to jail and our parents were called.

I was allowed to take a friend on vacation each year. While in the Bahamas, we (both of us 14) decided to order beer from room service. We did,signed for it (like my parents wouldn't find out????) and then hid the spent bottles in the hallway ... r ight in front of the hotel manager's living quarters. We got caught.

And, finally ... the one that I cannot believe I lived through. Two friends and I were driving through a neighboring state headed for a ski trip. We saw two cute hitchikers and, upon learning they had some pot, picked them up and allowed them to drive while we enjoyed their hospitable offer to share it....

This thread has given me a good laugh ...

Wolf

[This message edited by WhiteWolfWinning at 7:08 PM, February 3rd (Friday)]

Oh wow, www! I did something like that too.....I was actually the GOOD child--because I was smart enough to mostly never get caught, except I was the only one the police brought home (my sibs have never let me live that one down...)

14 years old, camping out in the back with my bff. We decided, around midnight, to walk down the street (about 5 miles or so) and get some cigarettes. On the way back, 2 cute guys pulled up in a car, showed us a trunk full of soda (I think they were knocking off soda machines), and we hopped in.

Well, they were being looked for by the police and we got pulled over. I hid my cigarettes and my firecrackers (don't ask) in my socks because I didn't want to throw them away.

Cops took me and my gf home, the boys told them we were not part of their crime spree, my parents grounded me for a month, I was not allowed to see my friend again (they gave in on that after the month though).

When the cops came to our front door at 2 in the morning, my parents had to tell them that my gf's parents were deaf. They were overjoyed to be taking home a 14 year old girl that had hopped in a car with strange guys to parents they did not know how to communicate with.

I never saw my parent's faces so white before....and I felt terrible. But, they let me camp out again a few months later, with a different gf, and off we went again (this time no car rides though....)

I lived across the street from a kid who had a traumatic brain injury from lawn darts.

That said, it was always a highlight of a ride in my aunt's big assed station wagon (that needed its own zip code) when she'd hit a bump and all the kids riding in the back end would hit the ceiling. Good times.

http://www.stationwagon.com/gallery/1974_Ford_Country_Squire.html

this is totally my cousins fault .... both of these stories

Here in Lawton many years ago in the early 80's we were playing at my GM ... we were out back and got bored ... well the big open field behind my GM house was being worked on building something ....

we got out there and were playing on all the heavy equipment ... well the gate shut behind us ... everyone in my GM neighborhood had 6ft fences and we could not figure out which one was my GM's .....

they were all pissed when they found us .. thank god there were no keys left in those machines I am sure we would have tried to start them ....

Christmas about the same time ... living in Colo. Springs and my cousins, aunt ect ect all come to visit ... well it was a good a winter and we had pretty good snow ... lucky us we had a good sled hill right by my house ....

well it had been warm enough in the last couple to melt the snow in a couple spots ... my cousins put me on one of those plastic saucer disc sleds and off I went ... fast .... till I hit that patch of brown ... I knocked myself out a little bit when I smacked my forehead on the ground ....

Ok these next ones are me ....

riding down the big hill by my house as fast as I can .... lost control and went head first into a neighbors hedge .... just my head tho the rest of me was laying on the sidewalk ....

same bike same hill diff day .... fast as I can hit some gravel .... that really small fine light colored gravel ... a little bigger than sand ... I slid on that on the right side of my leg .... little blood bubbles all over the right side of my leg ...

same bike same hill just the other side .... I hit a pothole with my front and went flying over the handle bars and landed on my forehead .... the nice people house I wrecked in front of came out and put a rag on my head, while my friend rode to my house to get my mom ..... I was hysterical cause I thought I was going to be kidnapped by these nice people ... once I got to the ER I remember thinking how cute the doc was who was stitching up my forehead .....

many years later adult now different bike and no hill .... riding on trail nice and flat me and Xh .... I am in front he is behind me ... I have hand brakes right brakes front and left brakes back ....

I see a snake ... a bright red one cross in front of me on the trail ... I am not scarred of snakes I wanted to check him out .... so I apply completely and forcefully the front brake ....

bike stops right away and the rear of the bike comes up in the air and I fly over handle bars .... landing on my face .... Andy in his panic jumps off his bike throwing it several feet off the trail to come assist me ....

he still does not believe me that there was a snake ....

I have many more I am quite the

trees, cars, walking, running I has the stories .....

and I am a nurse .... scary

And most of us have procreated?

Scary, indeed.

High school.

One of my best friends was the smartest kid in our class. She later went on to be our class Valedictorian.

We decided to skip school one day and she, I and another friend took off in her car after homeroom, figuring we'd tool around the downtown area for a spell, which was about 7 miles from our campus.

She neglected to inform us that she had never driven in downtown traffic before and started completely freaking out with all the one way streets and the sheer amount of traffic.

As we were trying to get from the main drag onto a street that she could handle better and head somewhere - anywhere - else, a black car was on our right that stayed with us for blocks and wouldn't let her merge in. She got frustrated, beeped the horn, and flipped the guys the finger.

All of the sudden a siren sounds and I see the passenger put the old spinning cop light on the roof a la Starsky and Hutch (this was the 70's, afterall) and motion for us to slide over.

My friend breaks into uncontrollable sobs, saying how her parents are going to kill her, she'll lose her car, her license, her college fund, blah, blah, blah. I was in the back seat and was quietly laughing my ass off.

Having never been pulled over before, we all get out of the car with our hands up and start walking to the cop car.

Mary walks to the cop driving and he starts reading her the riot act.

I'm on the other side, and as I start walking to the passenger side, I about died when out pops my next door neighbor, an undercover cop, whose kids I would occasionally babysit for.

He comes up to me and says "What are you doing here?" I tell him we were just out screwing around and that Mary had been freaking out with the traffic and had she known they were cops, she would never have flipped them off.

He starts laughing and tells me if we get back to school by lunchtime, he won't tell my parents. We hurried our asses back to campus and he kept his word. None of our parents knew about it until much, much later.

High School, I had just gotten my driver's license and my sister had her learners permit. We decided that I would teach her how to drive....in my dad's 15 seats van. Only one problem, we were babysitting my 3 year old baby sister.

No problem, we brought the baby in her car seat and all went. My mom nearly had a heart attack when she learned what we did but we didn't see a problem...after all, we had brought the baby and strapped her in her car seat.

Also while babysitting my brother and sisters: I would fake fire drills in order to be able to jump from the windows. Don't know why, I loved jumping from the windows.

I lived across the street from a kid who had a traumatic brain injury from lawn darts

I know! That's why lawn darts went off the market.

My brain injury came from the mercury and mimeograph ink.

That's why mercury and mimeographs went off the market also.

Black, thick, plush carpeting in our bathroom. I know, what were my parents thinking.

That's hilarious! I love it!! What were they thinking? That they were wildly hip and in style!!

My 6 brothers and sisters and I lived in Backwater, Alabama, miles from any neighbors. So we knew from being bored!

I'll preface this by saying my Dad had made a tear-shaped driveway. You drove in at the point of the tear, circled around and drove out.

One long, hot summer we were bored out of our skulls. This was AFTER:

1. Throwing I don't know how many bushels of butter beans into the pond, somehow thinking we'd get out of shelling them because some genius thought they's sink. They didn't, and we spent the next day in the rickety-ass dinghy netting up butter beans.

2. My brothers inventing the game "Bottle Rocket Tag", in which the girls jumped on the trampoline, avoiding bottle rockets being fired by our brothers.

3. Blowing up the go-kart motor by piling on it and letting my 4 year old sister drive it under a parked dump truck. Ouch.

Anyway.

We were basically forbidden to do ANYTHING FUN, ever again.

So my brothers, young teens at the time, began to come up with stupid dares.

It started off innocently enough. "I dare you to run around the house with no pants on!"

This quickly progressed to running around the house naked. Then we all got naked and ran around the house. I don't know where the naked thing came from, one of my brothers was surely a pervert in training!

Then, the oldest one challenged the next oldest:

"I dare you to dig a hole and crap in it!"

Brother 2 commenced to diggin'.

So there we were, 6 naked children, lined up in order of our height, when the preacher pulls into the tear-shaped driveway, comes around to the front of the house, sees the next to oldest crouched over, shitting in a hole in the driveway, and he circles around and leaves.

5 minutes later my stepmother calls us wondering why the hell the preacher called her at work, telling her she needed to get my Dad and go home!