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girlsbird ( member #30877) posted at 10:26 PM on Monday, April 2nd, 2012
D-Day 10/28/10..almost admission 7/10 Reconciled. I was the betrayed
Aubrie (original poster member #33886) posted at 4:27 AM on Saturday, June 2nd, 2012
shameless bump for a newbie 
[This message edited by Aubrie84 at 10:28 PM, June 1st (Friday)]
"Courage is being scared to death and saddling up anyway." - J. Wayne
Lost333 ( member #35182) posted at 9:35 PM on Saturday, June 2nd, 2012
loved this post then-love it now. 
Me:29,WS/BS Him:27, BS/WS (DontTreadOnMe) His Dday 2/19/12. My Dday 9/29/12
Married: 2 yrs, together 4 1/2
"And the day came when the risk it took to remain tight inside the bud was more painful than the risk it took to blossom" Anais Nin
rollercoaster80 ( member #23412) posted at 10:32 PM on Saturday, June 2nd, 2012
Thanks Aubrie for bumping this.
I did not see it the first time around.
Just recently started to read in Wayward and I am finding out that there are also some incredibly strong and beautiful people in this forum.
Thank you to all the waywards that "get it"
me 58 fbw
him 71 FWH/SA
married 35 years
together 31 years my whole adult life!
4 s, 1 stepd, 2 grand kids
multiple A's, 2 LTA's,multiple indescretions...before and throughout our marriage
isadora ( member #29130) posted at 3:09 AM on Sunday, June 3rd, 2012
I missed this post the first time around. thanks for the bump. Great post!
Me: BW Him: who cares
Divorced: 4/2015
2 DDs and 2DSs
Who knows how many affairs at this point
Multiple D-Days
I can only control myself, no one else. I do not have that kind of power.
init4life ( new member #35414) posted at 3:54 AM on Sunday, June 3rd, 2012
Thank aubrie......this is exactly how I feel about ow. Once you come out of the fog you see more clearly then ever.
WH & (BS x 2 ) (me)
Cheated 3 times I know of (wife)
Married 20 years, together 22
fraeuken ( member #30742) posted at 5:05 AM on Sunday, June 3rd, 2012
At a friend's party and could not stay off SI. In tears, sobbing in the bathroom. 
Temporarily independent with the whole world at my feet.
Sal1995 ( member #39099) posted at 6:37 PM on Tuesday, May 14th, 2013
B.S. here, still new to S.I.
I'm not sure how I came across this old thread, or whether it's appropriate to bump something this old. But I showed it to my remorseful WW (an SI lurker), and she thought that Aubrie hit a home run with her analysis and really seems to "get it." Which is nice to hear, since it suggests that my WW "gets it" as well.
I think it deserves a second life.
thecaves ( member #38062) posted at 7:14 PM on Tuesday, May 14th, 2013
We need a "like" button here...
Me: WH
Her: BW
Kids: Yes
Married: 20+
D-Day: 12/2012
What defines us is how well we rise after falling.
LA44 ( member #38384) posted at 7:20 PM on Tuesday, May 14th, 2013
Definitely need the "like" key!
Thank you!
Me: 44
He: 47 WH
Married: 15 years
D Day: December 2012
Affair: Fall 2009 - Dec. 2011
R is not linear
SoVerySadNow ( member #36711) posted at 7:21 PM on Tuesday, May 14th, 2013
I'm glad it was bumped up. Thanks for the thoughts, Aubrie.
Me:BW
Him:WH
D-day(s),after years of TT and Gaslighting was Labor Day Weekend 2012, continuing for a week after. *Dammit! More TT 3/9/13
Really trending toward D- planning about it is my "happy place" now.
MissesJai ( member #24849) posted at 7:44 PM on Tuesday, May 14th, 2013
44
Happily divorcing..
My Life is Mine!!!!
#BlackLivesMatter
Don't settle for no fuck shit....
Hunter23 ( member #37574) posted at 8:23 PM on Tuesday, May 14th, 2013
Another BS here...
Thanks for bumping this - So well said!
Me: BW, 38
Him:WH, 40
DDay: Nov 3, 2012
Hoping to recover...
TrustGone ( member #36654) posted at 8:32 PM on Tuesday, May 14th, 2013
Thanks Aubrie. When I first saw the title I started not to read it. I didn't want to read another post from a WS that didn't "get it". I am so glad to read that you really do and I hope that it influences others to "get it" as well.
XWH#2-No longer my monkey Divorced 8/15, Now married to a wonderful man.
"A person is either an asset or a lesson"
"Changing who you are with does not change who you are"
pantsonfire106 ( new member #35748) posted at 8:50 PM on Tuesday, May 14th, 2013
I never post or reply.
But thanks for this.
If a man is wrong about himself, and others are wrong about him, who is left to say what he really is?
LovesLaboursLost ( member #37272) posted at 8:51 PM on Tuesday, May 14th, 2013
I hate that saying too. Self indulgent bullshit...VOMIT! I like your rebuttal, Aubrie.
Trying33 ( member #38815) posted at 5:10 AM on Wednesday, May 15th, 2013
Made me cry. Difference between love and lurrrve is spot on. The second leads into the former which is longlasting and real.
I think the tears are because of guilt and shame. Breaking the real love for the "love" that's shallow, fickle, fake and wrapped up with a bow. 
Thank-you for posting/bumping this. More stuff like this is needed to put things in perspective (something fresh fww's are desparately in need of, mainly me)
Aubrie (original poster member #33886) posted at 1:43 PM on Wednesday, May 15th, 2013
The second leads into the former which is longlasting and real.
Not if both parties are already married or attached to other people. You cannot convince me that luuuurv is real if two people are cheating on and destroying two families, in the name of "love". Everything about an affair is wrong. It sure feels like love. And I guess in way, it's a type of love. Just like when an abuser loves his wife and beats her. Doesn't mean it's healthy.
If you and AP are cheating on your spouses to be with one another, who's to say you and AP won't cheat on one another with a new AP once the newness and "love" of the relationship wear off. You are both still broken people. Broken attracts broken. History will repeat. Same story, difference faces.
"Courage is being scared to death and saddling up anyway." - J. Wayne
5454real ( member #37455) posted at 2:06 PM on Wednesday, May 15th, 2013
BH 58, WW 49
DS 31(Mine),SD 29,SS 28(Hers),DS 16 Ours, DGS 11, DGD 8, DGS 3
D=Day #1 5/04EA (Rugswept)
D-Day #2 3/10/12, TT til 3/13/12
Married 13yrs
"I have no love for a friend who loves in words alone."
― Sophocle
Undone1 ( member #37683) posted at 9:16 PM on Friday, May 17th, 2013
Great post. Sent to my fWH
Undone1
Married 10+ years to my high school sweetheart
DDAY 10/27/12
Me 55
WH 55
Blended Family: 25, 21, and 20
Married 10 years
"The Universe Unfolds as it Should"
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