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Fun & Games :
Euphemisms or "pet names" for private parts

This Topic is Archived
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roccodom ( member #19714) posted at 1:34 AM on Friday, July 13th, 2012

My husband refers to his parts as

Twig and berries

pumpkin

Lady parts are

pocahontas

poota

BS - me (45) WS - him (45)
married 16 yrs (DS 11yrs, DD 9yrs)
#1 PA - DDay 12/97
#2 PA DDay 5/08
#3 PA DDay 2/12
Trying R
Buddhism teaches that a craving for things outside ourselves causes an unhappy and pointless search for security.

posts: 791   ·   registered: May. 30th, 2008   ·   location: MO
id 5923875
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foundoutlater ( member #32900) posted at 1:36 AM on Friday, July 13th, 2012

This is some funny shit. I thought this post was done.

I guess you can't keep a good post down.

Your beliefs don’t make you a better person, your behavior does.

posts: 1409   ·   registered: Jul. 27th, 2011
id 5923877
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silverhopes ( member #32753) posted at 6:52 PM on Friday, July 13th, 2012

slhim, "care bear stare" is hilarious!

I just told my husband that one - he promptly got up and flashed me. I'm keeping it! CARE BEAR STARE!@!!!!!

Usually we just calls them "him" and "her".

Aut viam inveniam aut faciam.

posts: 5270   ·   registered: Jul. 12th, 2011   ·   location: California
id 5924914
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asurvivor ( member #32368) posted at 7:43 PM on Friday, July 13th, 2012

Why I hate porn

wildbananas

I've wiped the shit off. It can be wiped off you know.


posts: 642   ·   registered: Jun. 3rd, 2011
id 5925000
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asurvivor ( member #32368) posted at 7:44 PM on Friday, July 13th, 2012

whoops...wrong place to post. Guess I was excited

I've wiped the shit off. It can be wiped off you know.


posts: 642   ·   registered: Jun. 3rd, 2011
id 5925005
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wildbananas ( member #10552) posted at 7:50 PM on Friday, July 13th, 2012

Whadido?

Travel light, live light, spread the light, be the light. ~ Yogi Bhajan

posts: 16592   ·   registered: May. 1st, 2006   ·   location: Somewhere
id 5925016
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StillGoing ( member #28571) posted at 8:35 PM on Friday, July 13th, 2012

One of the neighborhood kids referred to it as his pirate. So for awhile that was the standard euphemism. Makes sense, One Eyed Willy was a famous pirate.

Tempus Fuckit.

- Ricky

posts: 7918   ·   registered: May. 21st, 2010   ·   location: USA
id 5925090
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avicarswife ( member #35799) posted at 4:06 AM on Saturday, July 14th, 2012

One of the neighborhood kids referred to it as his pirate. So for awhile that was the standard euphemism. Makes sense, One Eyed Willy was a famous pirate.

lol

On D-day:BS 46 (me)WH 50
Toasted22M 26 yrs,3 kids (16-24) at discovery. D-Days 2012 23-24 May + TT D-Day 2013 12 Apr
mOW #1 EA yrs PA Feb 2009-end 2011
mOW #2 EA months PA 4 mths 2010
mOW#3 PA once
2022 Separated

posts: 932   ·   registered: Jun. 9th, 2012   ·   location: NZ
id 5925789
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feeling bi polar ( member #31086) posted at 3:01 PM on Saturday, July 14th, 2012

An ex used to call his a " one eyed trouser snake"

A friend refers to hers a her "tootsie pop"

In three words I can sum up everything I’ve learned about life — It goes on. —Robert Frost

posts: 196   ·   registered: Feb. 3rd, 2011   ·   location: VA
id 5926167
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wifeno2 ( member #31529) posted at 7:16 PM on Saturday, July 14th, 2012

Always been partial to "velvet vice"

Me-BW (45)
Him-WS (42)
DS 19 (prior relationship)
DS-8
DDay #1- 10/22/2010 EA/PA with MOW coworker
Dday#2:11/17/2010 beginning secret emails with potential OW#2
DDay #3 11/22/2010 still seeing OW#1
Too many DD's to count: Now up to OW #6.

posts: 696   ·   registered: Mar. 16th, 2011   ·   location: the south
id 5926448
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Jrazz ( member #31349) posted at 7:31 PM on Saturday, July 14th, 2012

DD has developed a fascination with my mammaries. (Particularly stuffing toys down my shirt.)

She calls them the "Hootie hoots."

"Don't give up, the beginning is always the hardest." - Deeply Scared's mom

posts: 29076   ·   registered: Feb. 28th, 2011   ·   location: California
id 5926458
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gonnabe2016 ( member #34823) posted at 7:50 PM on Saturday, July 14th, 2012

My MIL had a very small souvenir sized bat in her room when WS and I started dating. He told me that it was to smack the:

"bed snake"

"Oh, what a tangled web we weave when first we practice to deceive." - Sir Walter Scott

In my effort to be *concise*, I often come off as blunt and harsh. Sorry, don't mean to be offensive.

posts: 9241   ·   registered: Feb. 15th, 2012   ·   location: Midwest
id 5926481
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ladyvorkosigan ( member #8283) posted at 8:17 PM on Saturday, July 14th, 2012

We use stuff. Your stuff, my stuff, his stuff.

I've never found any good all around terms for ladyparts. The geography of the whole area differs vastly so vagina doesn't work because what about your clit, your labia, which labia you even talkin' about, and then at a certain point the fun parts end and the purely functional and sometimes hurty parts begin but a dick can still hit your cervix, so shouldn't that be counted as a ladypart? I mean some woman at some point in history must've enjoyed getting her cervix slammed because dudes do insist upon slamming it. And then the entire inside of the vagina, who in the world knows what's going on in there, all sorts of bumps and things that you don't even know you have until somebody else's finger shows you. C*nt sounds like an insult so I have to * it, pussy grosses me out the same way panties does. Then you have the various vagina, vagine, vajayjay, vadge, other knockoffs contingent. This is also surprisingly conflicted territory. I observed an internet argument between some ladeez the other day over vagina vs vulva. Team Vulva privileges accuracy and feels the vagina focus is a tool of the patriarchy. Team Vagina just likes the way vagina sounds and does not give a fuck about Freud.

Dudes, we got solid words. Cock, dick, balls, and you can always stay safe with penis. Only reason you need to go beyond that is if you are trying to discuss something that is absolutely not cock/dick/penis or balls, like the prostate gland. Women, we have a thousand terms, none of them adequate, nothing solid like cock, dick, balls, penis.

My personal preference these days is variations on ladyparts, ladyflower, girlybits, those sorts of things. Oh, or pudenda, which you see occasionally in historical romance novels, done in my Sofia Vergara voice. Really, try to say pudenda without sounding like Sofia Vergara. You can't. Pudenda wants to be said by Sofia Vergara.

[This message edited by ladyvorkosigan at 2:23 PM, July 14th (Saturday)]

It nagged him, in particular, that none of the girls he’d known so far had given him a sense of unalloyed triumph.

posts: 14226   ·   registered: Sep. 21st, 2005   ·   location: Florida
id 5926502
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resigned ( member #12903) posted at 3:08 PM on Sunday, July 15th, 2012

"napoleon"

"rain forest"

posts: 456   ·   registered: Dec. 10th, 2006
id 5927400
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 HFSSC (original poster member #33338) posted at 5:50 PM on Sunday, July 15th, 2012

This has the potential to replace my lube thread as my favorite thread ever.

Me, 56
Him, 48 (JMSSC)
Married 26 years. Reconciled.

posts: 4971   ·   registered: Sep. 12th, 2011   ·   location: South Carolina
id 5927530
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Syzy ( member #15190) posted at 10:16 PM on Thursday, August 9th, 2012

Tulip. Enough said.

BS
Dday Aug 17, 2006
R - what's that.
Me - Moved on long ago.
It takes two to make it work, but only one to fuck it up.

posts: 946   ·   registered: Jul. 1st, 2007   ·   location: So Cal
id 5964438
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kernel ( member #27035) posted at 1:13 AM on Friday, August 10th, 2012

I can't believe no one said "wiener."

TR, if mine had a tongue, I'd never leave the house.

Fact.

Freakin' hilarious!!!

"On particularly rough days when I'm sure I can't possibly endure, I like to remind myself that my track record for getting through bad days so far is 100% and that's pretty good."

posts: 5379   ·   registered: Jan. 3rd, 2010   ·   location: Midwest
id 5964712
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