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bestbecameworst ( member #31507) posted at 3:24 AM on Tuesday, June 4th, 2013

She was also at the same time texting me that he kept calling her to check on her (I had his phone and he was sitting across from me) to try to upset me, and texting me abusive things...so now not only do I have to deal with the emotional trauma of the affair, but I have to fear my safety as well.

..

if you haven't gone to the police yet, you need to do so.

in my case i sent OW a message on email that if she didn't leave us alone, i'd get a restraining order.

THAT worked.

bbw

Me: BS
Together since 1997, married Jan 2010, EA started Feb 2010, PA June 2010
D-day1 Oct 20 2010 / D-day2 Oct 21 2010 and following week / found this site Mar 2011
He didn't do work to reconcile.
DIVORCED in 2014 and HAPPY!

posts: 599   ·   registered: Mar. 14th, 2011
id 6360452
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ButterflyWings ( member #26493) posted at 3:48 AM on Tuesday, June 4th, 2013

she is clearly not the naive young flower you want her to be. She is a master manipulator in training.

THIS!!!! I'm not adding anything else that hasn't already been said but you should not give this woman the benefit of the doubt any longer. She is proving that she is able to become severely unhinged and is now texting you messages meant to hurt and insult you. If the contact continues, do not engage except for four simple words...."authorities have been notified." THAT should stop the bunny boiler dead in her tracks. Take care of yourself....regardless of what you decide to do about the marriage. Take care of yourself for the sake of your sanity and your unborn child.

BS/WS - 45
"Dark and difficult times lie ahead. Soon we must all face the choice between what is right and what is easy."

posts: 135   ·   registered: Dec. 11th, 2009
id 6360472
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 jojo42 (original poster member #37583) posted at 1:39 PM on Tuesday, June 4th, 2013

Thank you for all of your replies. I did notify the police of the occurrence but told them I did not want to press charges at this point. I showed them text messages and they asked if I wanted to file a RO. I decided I would do so if she attempted any more contact at all. I have had my husband's phone since Sunday night and she has not tried to contact either of us. He will be going into work today to decide what's going to happen there.

I know a previous poster has mentioned he should not leave his job in this economy, and we sort of agree. It's hard for me to think about them still working together after all this, but he has already alerted work he will not be going into the office and staying on the field for now. At least that way they can keep up NC. I will be checking his work email throughout the day to make sure any contact that does need to happen remains business-related only, though I doubt there will be any at all. I imagine they'll use a "middle man" if they have to communicate, but we'll see. I will give him back his phone so he can use it for work but take it back when I get home.

This day will be hard. The time they they spent together during the A was during lunch at work and they would leave early to spend time together. How can I believe this won't happen after everything. I do wish he didn't have to go back there, but we need the insurance and income.

Me: 30, BS
Him: 30, WH
Married: 1 year, together for 7 years
1st child due in Sept 2013
DDay: 09/02/12, 09/22/12 admitted to EA ,false R, then 06/02/13 found out about PA & EA with same woman (OW is a coworker)
Hoping for R

posts: 72   ·   registered: Nov. 22nd, 2012
id 6360732
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 jojo42 (original poster member #37583) posted at 11:09 PM on Tuesday, June 4th, 2013

Just found out she will not be coming back into work until next week because of her cut up hand (from my window) so I feel a lot better. By the time she comes back, he will be strictly in the field and will hopefully be able to stay away from the office as much as possible.

Me: 30, BS
Him: 30, WH
Married: 1 year, together for 7 years
1st child due in Sept 2013
DDay: 09/02/12, 09/22/12 admitted to EA ,false R, then 06/02/13 found out about PA & EA with same woman (OW is a coworker)
Hoping for R

posts: 72   ·   registered: Nov. 22nd, 2012
id 6361548
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1Faith ( member #38975) posted at 12:37 AM on Wednesday, June 5th, 2013

Please have your husband contact HR.

They will demand NC as its a conflict of interest at the work place.

Agree you need your insurance, totally get that, but your husband needs to start a job search now.

If they work together your mind movies and triggers will be immense.

Agree with others = protect yourself and baby. She is not stable.

Hang in there. Sorry this is happening.

Hugs

Sometimes my life feels like a test I didn't study for

posts: 4131   ·   registered: Apr. 12th, 2013
id 6361627
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