SurvivingInfidelity.com^®

HL...you just nailed it. I've asked scream to take the lead. To be a bit more proactive in our recovery as a couple. He is wonderful when I want to talk or in answering questions. He has been great about going to ic every single week for a year. I just needed him to take the next step. There was a lot of not ever being the one to bring things up...think he's been afraid to rock the boat. He's been afraid to hurt me by taking the lead...couldn't see how bringing things up would do anything but hurt me more. It is difficult for a bs to explain why some of us nned that. I needed it. I think scream is finally getting it. I am proud of him for that. And I also know that he doesn't always explain things clearly the first time around. And AN...I truly hope that 6 years down the road...scream will still be as thoughtful as you were. And I hope I can be for scream.

Didn't think anything had to be explained. It was pretty self explanitory. Just do more. What ever you think that means for you

HL. I know that some people were worried about our interactions here on this post. Even my wife was afraid I would say something to you and get kicked off of SI. Really nothing you posted bothered me. I hope you were posting honestly and were thinking about this subject as much as I was. I really liked all the responses and peoples thoughts on the subject. So please don't stop if you have more to say. And to everyone that has posted, thank you. For someone who doesn't like to talk much I have enjoyed hearing from you and responding.

scream its all good. To me there were 2 things going on.

1. I was trying to get you to be specific as that is what helped and continues to help me. What you finally defined as what your doing is something I was posting to someone else yesterday which was funny as hell to me. So sharing is great, but there is power in giving a specific as that adds to all our tool boxes as we try to fix what we blew up. When others put up generalizations or blanket statements we will question it.

2. The one place a waywards voice shouldn't be drowned out or ignored is the Wayward forum and it happens. Or you have wayward's who are looking for validation from BS's and they jump on an unhealthy band wagon just to avoid conflict.

You seemed earnest in your post and I didn't want that to get lost in the minutia. Many times out of the passionate exchange of views is when some really great learning can take place. It can get uncomfortable for sure, but I think most of us got to wayward doing what was comfortable so to me I have to flip it and be willing to get uncomfortable to ensure I learn a different way.

Hope to see more of you on the board scream!