SurvivingInfidelity.com^®

Alright Paula Dean, the rouse is up!

Anyway, can this thread go back on topic please?

Eta: I think the OP got scared off. SG had an excellent, albeit hilarious response with ASSOCIASIONS and not necessarily the race of the person themselves.

[This message edited by stilllovinghim at 5:38 PM, July 25th (Thursday)]

Sorry but im a smart ass.....the

absurdity of this statement is just mind boggling. Being that i probably can relate to every racial statement considering I'm mixed with

-irish

-african american

- english

- danish

- japanese

- cherokee indian

There are triggers and then there is just being down right prejudiced...be real about it at least.

Unfortunately there is a freaking CHIP line named after her.

That chick's momma named her SUNCHIPS??!!?? ( )

Supersadwife...your not a racist!!!

BUT...

You have always disliked Philipinos...uh...

That makes absolutely no sense whatsoever!

Yes plz lets go back to the original poster..oh my god.

and of course they are all bitches and whores because they slept and chased our WS

Umm...your WS willingly played a role in the A so don't forget to call him a playa' pimp and man-whore. And if you aren't, I'm sure that the AP's BS is. Just sayin'.

Look, I get it. People trigger. Names, race, weight, height, hair color, eye color, scent, blah, blah, blah. But for crying out loud people, can we be just a little bit more sensitive to the diversity that makes up SI???

While you're over there ranting and raving about *insert some horrible generalization about a specific race here*, don't forget that there are people here that fit that racial description. That's hurtful. And while you might not be offended to be clumped in with a generalization, other people are. Be respectful of other people's feelings. We all have our own levels of hurt and pain tolerances. Be sensitive to that.

@SSW: Once again- Wow.

I'm just going to start counting down til the hammer drops at this point....

To the original poster, you are not a racist. You're very raw and (as others have pointed out) certain associations with the AP are going to be triggers for a while. Hang in there. It is part of that "fun" rollercoaster called surviving infidelity.

Just a reminder for this thread to get back on topic

dammit I was waiting for the hammer of Thor!

Slight t/j:

Sunflower you sound absolutely beautiful!

I, for one, can't express enough how thankful I am of the various opinions, personalities and help of the members here at SI. Red, yellow, black or white.

Now let's all hold hands and sing "Kumbaya"

End t/j

Eta: sorry, posted same time as mod

[This message edited by stilllovinghim at 6:08 PM, July 25th (Thursday)]

Supersadwife won't be coming back to this thread.

Let's please get back to supporting the original poster.

Thanks .

You've got enough to deal with in the A aftermath and shouldn't have to worry about your wife using a male personal trainer regardless of their race.

Out of deference to your feelings, she should drop the male trainer and use a female trainer instead (it's a no brainer). And it's great you're communicating your concerns like this to her because it will help her to begin building more empathy for you and what you're going through (and what's expected of her).

Heck I personally wouldn't be comfortable with my FWH even using a coed gym at this point but I'm the possessive and jealous type.

Hurtingincolorado, nothing you have said sounds racist to me at all. You sound crushed and deeply hurt over your ww actions. I think its pretty insensitive and disrespectful of your wife to still be using a personal trainer let alone a male one. Jmo. Do you trigger when she goes to work out?

Just wanted to also apologize for jacking your thread earlier.

:(

I am the original poster. Thanks for all your responses and help. I think I am hypersensitive to anything about "him" the is different than me. Race is just one thing. He is taller, thinner and younger and is probably less harried as he doesn't have 4 kids. I dont like younger men around my wife or thinner men or taller men but I don't feel bad about that discomfort as she has caused that. I guess I focused on race because we have all been taught and believe that we should be race neutral and that is how I have lived my life. I now feel I am nervous when she is around men of that other race not because I have an animosity for that race any more than I have an animosity against tall, young or fit folks. Its because I don't trust her around her sexual triggers. It has nothing to do about race. It is about how he is different than me and my insecurity about that. Thanks everyone. I feel better, not a ton, but incrementally more.

It has nothing to do about race. It is about how he is different than me and my insecurity about that

lemme flip this script for you...

it has nothing to do with race,height,weight,and even has nothing to do with the trainer...

it is your WW. It is her that you are insecure about, remove her and the "racism" will likely disappear with her.

That's not a suggestion, just an illustration.