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sillyoldsod (original poster member #43649) posted at 11:30 AM on Friday, June 20th, 2014
I met with WW last night. No letter or text was needed in the end as I decided to have it out with her in person.
She confirmed that she was not returning to the marriage and regretted the hurt she caused. She appeared to understand that I needed closure and that I couldn't wait indefinitely for her to make her mind up. Interestingly she said the affair was not the principle reason for her wanting to end the marriage. It was that she wanted space, she wants to be on her own. I did my best to understand what she was telling me but I just didn't get it.
I will be filing for divorce in the next week or two and will now go NC.
Although this does bring some closure in that at least I know for definite our marriage is finished, I am having real difficulty coping with the anxiety, depression and panic at the thought of living without a partner. I got no sleep last night. At 52 years of age I'm really wondering what's the point of life! That's sad isn't it, and it worries me that I'm so dependent on another individual even though we'd grown apart in the last few years. It tells me there's something deeply flawed in my own character as well. Maybe my ongoing IC will help eventually.
I have a doctor's appointment later so I guess it'll be a prescription of ADs. 
Anyway just to say thank you to everyone who posted their opinions. It was all of you who helped to at least bring this to a head earlier than if I'd carried on faffing about trying to bargain with STBXWW.
Best wishes.
I've never met a sociopath I didn't like.
BrokenButTrying ( member #42111) posted at 11:37 AM on Friday, June 20th, 2014
Hi SoS,
I'm glad you spoke to your WW and got some answers and closure.
It is completely natural to be scared and anxious right now. You've spent most of your life with this woman, it's hard to imagine what it will be like without her. The answer to that is that it will be whatever you choose to make it! You can have a very full and happy life after a D. Check out the separation and divorce board, the members there can help you.
If you're a bit more concerned about your anxiety and dependency issues then it might be worth reading up about co-dependency. I'm not by any means saying that you are co-dependent but it's worth learning about to either rule it out or bring up with your IC.
I'm so sorry you're in this situation SoS. It's truly awful but you will be ok. One day at a time 
[This message edited by BrokenButTrying at 5:37 AM, June 20th (Friday)]
Madhatters - We have R'd.
Chin up. Unwavering. Fight. We can do this.
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