SurvivingInfidelity.com^®

The mods made a decision to add the stop sign based on some BS responses so I don't think it will be removed. Some topics are too hot for many BSes to be able to respond within the guidelines of the Wayward Forum and too compelling for them to be able to step away.

BSes who violate the guidelines of the forum can permanently lose their posting privileges here so it's just safer to add a stop sign.

And what of those who never do this? What of the BS whose WS never "get it"? Never do "the work"? Never "own their actions" and never change their behavior? Most of those WS are never on SI.... but they sure as shit are out there.

gmc94, You’re right. I am sure there are plenty of people like that. I don’t have an easy answer. Divorce? Do you really believe beating them will change who they are? I don’t. I think it’s a way to hurt the person who hurt you and I understand that desire and feeling, I do, but I think it accomplishes nothing but spreading more pain around and also gives a quick and easy out for the WS. What about all those feelings the BS has to deal with? What about mind movies, and triggers, and all the questions, and the Plane of Lethal Flatness and the anger or depression, the issues in the bedroom, and on an on? How does this help with any of those and how does it help a BS feel that their WS is now a safe partner for them?

I know how this all sounds coming from a WW. I’m just trying to be honest. I can’t say I fully understand my BH’s pain. I’m not him and I’m not a BS. This sounds to me as coming from a desire for revenge and lashing out, which I totally get. A WS hurts the one they are supposed to put above all others in the most horrific way. It’s natural to have these feelings. I just don’t think they accomplish anything other than hurting back. If I’ve learned anything, it’s that there is no quick fix to this. It’s a lifetime of work and healing. How does beating someone help with either of those goals?