SurvivingInfidelity.com^®

You guys might have been right all along.
Ive been too "in love", and love makes you blind.

You have to detach and get far from her. This is a gift of freedom and sanity, make it happen!!!

UPDATE

So she still insists all the time, that she ended it 5 days ago.
I cant even get any other words out of her. And i am pushing her soooo hard now, and she still insist she ended it for good but that she ofc feels bad for using him.

Its soooop frustrating fpr me trying to get it out of her using all my tactics.

I even threatened her to pack my things, tell my family etc (which is her worst fear)
And she STILL insists, she ended it, but that its hard for her to let go and that she knows deep inside she always wanted me, and she keep being sorry for what she did to me.

But i cant just understand, WHY cant she tell me the truth, that it is NOT over???

I did the right thing... It hurts so much.

So many years, so much love.
I wasnt loved when i was a kid, by my family.

I wasnt hated, but my mom had issues herself from her childhood, and always withheld love for me.

My girlfriend have been absolutely lovebombing me for 10 years straight..

This is why i am so dumb.
This is why i cant let her go.

Because i never experienced in 35 years, being truly loved. Like she did. Being cared for,
Being checked upon, being missed. Etc..

Knowing someone at home was scared of losing me, every day.

Its SO HARD TO LET THIS GO!!!

I am so broken.

She just switched after the affair.
Its NOT the same person anymore.
Its Horrible to experience.

But i did the right thing.

I drove to see my brother.
Which is boss at a work somewhere.

And i broke down, and for the first time in half a year, i told someone.

My exonomy is over the top fucked. All my savings went this summer, i have nothing.

I asked.my brother if he would let me work at his place 2 days each week, to earn some extra money together with my main job, which he saod yes to.

This will give me a couple extra hundred each month, which helps alot in my situation

My brother got sad.
My family always loved her and he thing it was just sad this happened.

He have been married for 25 years and told me they also had their fair share of problems.
But always was able to fix them and mend their relationship.

He told me, if my GF still cheated on me, and wouldnt stop, i needed to go.
And FAST.
He looked at me, seeing i lost weight and sleep, and he was very worried.

My uncle can house me for a short while, but i have nowhere to store my things.

I have alot of belongings, and this is a sort of problem.

So i went to the local store and asked if they knew any cheap houses for rental around the area, which they were going to check for me.

So i will get an update within a few days.

Im pressuring her

She wanted to go see him again, for another stupid reason.

Keep telling me she feels nothing for the guy and that she is just sprry for him.

She asked for just one hour.

I been thinking in myself for two days, how can i make her just fukin confess.

WHY do i want her to confess?

Because: if she does, i might give her a chance in the future if she breaks the "no contact" with me.

Because i KNOW she will regret.
100%.

This man is not a good idea for her, he is 20yr older that her and full of trouble.
And she is not mentally herself.
She will get absolutely.mind fucked over time, and i KNOW, she will try to contact me, when she know she fucked up.

But im not willing to "save" her out of her misery, if she wont at least be honest the day i leave her.

So i tested her.

I have now deleted all memories of her, all pictures, from my phone, and stored everything in a folder on my computer, that i named:
"2013-2023"

And I started packing my things today!

Then i sendt her a photo of the folder,
And a photo of that i already packed half my things.

And sent her a message at her work:

Me: "however hard you try to fool me, i finally knows the truth. Nothing you say can save this now, because im leaving as soon as i have somewhere to bring my things, and i am not second guessing, because i truly knows now that you two keep planning a future and are deeply in love"

And yet she sees this, she STILL insists that she 100% ended it, and that she only wants me??

And she freaking out about the idea that im leaving.

So why doesnt she let me go?

Whyyyyy?
Please anyone tell me.
She wants a future with this guy.

And the man even told her to get rid of me asap so they could start their relationship.

And she still wont let me go?

This also means, she keep lying to him aswell right?

Whats the point.

Why? I cant stop woundering.

This guy shits money.
He can buy her everything.

So its not that she uses me economic wise..

And she is also in a honeymoon phase with the guy, while she i just fed up with me.

So why dont she like im leaving?

Why does she keep insist she ended it with him
To me?

When she KNOWS that in order to be truly in love woth her new guy, she NEED to let me go.

This is what i dont understand...

I peeked in her messages again...

I needed proof, that she ended it last friday.

And found she havent.

They had planned a weekend date, trip to a big city, they planned what to eat and where.

They are also getting a love tatoo.
And this guy will anytime now, wanna marry her.
He is absolutely intense with her as fuck.

I known her fpr 10 years, she will be comming running back to me as soon as shes out of the affair fog.

Im so sad i couldnt fix this :'(
Because i truly cared for her and hoped she would come to her senses.

So now that i know the truth.
And she seeing that ive packed and getting myself ready.

I gonna pick her up from work today and push her last button.
Showing her i found the truth.

Cause i need (for my best) her to tell me.

It will be easier for me going forward, knowing it never truly ended.

So i dont have tp think every day, if i did something wrong or not.

Remember i did forgive her.
But only if she stopped.

Today, truth will come, and its gonna be my worst day since the first day i found out.

So WHY...

She could just stsrt her new life.
But she keep holding on to me, KNOWING, her lover want me gone.

She could just have granted his wish, and saved herself all the trouble.

Instead she keep telling me she ended it.

And another weird thing is, if she really wanted to move on..
Why did she take a day off work tomorrow, to "explain" to me, that its over between them.

She is desperately trying to keep me in her life, when she KNOWS her lober want me gone, and she knows i need to go in order for them to start their new life that they planned.

This is such a MIND FUCK!

You have to detach from her. You have to block her and stop engaging with her at all. Who the hell cares what she wants, this is about what you want. She is still in an active affair and showing you who she really is in this active affair. Ditch her and focus on yourself.

I read your part about not feeling loved and that is an issue that you would best deal with in therapy. Before you can truly love someone else, you need to have your cup filled with your own self-love. A person who had properly dealt with and healed from your childhood trauma would not keep accepting the crumbs that this awful woman keeps throwing your way. As we say around here, love is a verb and she is in no way showing you love by sneaking off and fucking another dude all the time.

I believe you said something to the effect of, what has she become? A question you might want to ask yourself is, what have you become? I think your are in denial and disbelief on what she has turned you into.

Her candor in answering your questions has emboldened her to the point where she has no problem asking you to drive her to her lovers home and baby sit, while you await her return for hours. She's not talking, and you know this. This is so outlandish, I'm wondering if this is fiction or truth.

However, I'm going to honor this site's standards and respectfully assume it's truth. My recommendation is that you focus 100% on finding and rebuilding what you have allowed her to teardown within you. Start now. Not tomorrow or next week or month. \

You've lost yourself and is so far off-course you don't even know who you are perhaps. In the meantime your significant other has replaced you with another man to satisfy her emotional and physical needs and in the process has made you questions your dignity and capacity as man and human being.

I understand this however, as this awesome website is full of men and women who were turned upside down. Some stay upside down. Some get right side up and others stand back up and forge ahead with a purpose and restore the happiness life has to offer.

This can't be accomplished with your signficant other in your life, as she's the source of you being lost and compromised in any and every way possible. So much so, you can't even see it as you've slowly morphed into a weakened soul more interested in valuing your significant more than you value yourself.

She's intentionally or unintentionally removed your soul and will from your body. You are the only one that will be able to find and reinstall it. She's confident she has the last word on this happening. You will need to have greater conviction on you recovering everything that has been lost than she is counting on you staying broken, needy and permanent despair.

Your call and your move.