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Miss Saigon ( member #31965) posted at 1:18 AM on Monday, January 30th, 2012
BS - me 43
WH - 39
2 kids - ages 7 & 4
together 10 yrs, married 7 yrs
rather than love, than money, than faith, than fame, than fairness... give me truth.
-H Thoreau
Waiting@home ( member #24792) posted at 11:52 PM on Monday, January 30th, 2012
BS-me
DD1 Dec 13, 2008 EA
DD2 April 15, 2009 EA
M 17 yrs
Divorced the WXH
starstruck ( member #29547) posted at 12:03 AM on Tuesday, January 31st, 2012
DDay 7/29/2010
Am hoping to reconcile!! Am I crazy or what?
If we all did the things we are capable of doing we would literally astound ourselves-Thomas Edison
npain ( member #33539) posted at 7:55 PM on Tuesday, January 31st, 2012
I am a caretaker by nature, so I fell right into this codependent role, but the funny thing is 1 year ago I kinda started finding myself. That's when the sh*t reallyhit the fan. I started pushing him to do things that he didnt before, I took care of myelf, lost 40lbs. And becuase I tipped the scales a bit, WH got mad, real mad. I was no longer playing the game. I started to push back and demand things. So by the time I confirmed his A, I was well out of the codependent role. In fact, after 5 months of watching him do nothing but sulk, I kicked him out in the middle of the night. I had looked at his phone and found he had been disrespecting me to his friends and allowing them to disrespect me in text messages. All of a sudden he is seeking counseling and trying to get to the bottom of his mess. And i have already told my pastor who is counseling him that I am not accepting anything less than 100% participation from WH in thi smarriage otherwise there will be no reconciliation. He has been giving me crumbs ans I refuse to accept that any longer. Codependent no more!
S, Filed 4/17/14--YAY, ME!!
imarriedmymother ( member #34360) posted at 1:00 AM on Wednesday, February 1st, 2012
Hi, My name is imarriedmymother and i am a codependent 
M 24 yrs
DD 9/9/11
Drunken ONS w/aquaintance, EA/PA with co-worker. Moved in w/AP 10/1/11, Kicked Out 12/19/11
Recongealed
24 years down the tubes, but at least I lost my man boobs.
lordhasaplan? (original poster member #30079) posted at 2:08 AM on Wednesday, February 1st, 2012
imarriedmymother, welcome to the club. How will you untangle yourself and change your half of the equation? I know for me it has been a hard road, recognition goes along way to enable you opportunities for change.
Welcome.
BS- Me (53)D-day: 5/18/10, lies and TT till (11/26/10). Currently in R. Don't carry others crap. It's your job to fix yourself, not your spouse.
QVee ( member #34670) posted at 3:21 AM on Friday, February 3rd, 2012
Hi imarriedmymother!
I'm trying to kick my codependency tendencies to the curb. It's not an easy road, but it feel really good (unlike other forms of rehab/therapy)!
Welcome! 
"Plan for the worst, hope for the best"
imarriedmymother ( member #34360) posted at 4:39 AM on Friday, February 3rd, 2012
Lhap and QVee, Thank you for the welcome.I think my admittance is a start and in time i hope to start overcoming these issues,amongst others. I'm a work in slow process but progress. Thanks again, immm
M 24 yrs
DD 9/9/11
Drunken ONS w/aquaintance, EA/PA with co-worker. Moved in w/AP 10/1/11, Kicked Out 12/19/11
Recongealed
24 years down the tubes, but at least I lost my man boobs.
itwillrain ( member #34564) posted at 5:36 AM on Friday, February 3rd, 2012
It's honestly difficult to put myself before the relationship, but that was me already. I was like that before the A.
Looks like IC might be a good idea...
Nature_Girl ( member #32554) posted at 6:34 AM on Friday, February 3rd, 2012
IC has helped me tremendously in learning to put a relationship in it's proper perspective. My upbringing was SO conservative Christian, I was literally rasied to be a doormat.
Which explains why I had such a wild late teens early 20's.
And then explains the mess I'm in now. 
IC is liberating my mind and soul.
Me = BS
Him = EX-d out (abusive troglodyte NPD SA)
3 tween-aged kids
Together 20 years
D-Day: Memorial Weekend 2011
2013 - DIVORCED!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wJgjyDFfJuU
lordhasaplan? (original poster member #30079) posted at 1:03 AM on Thursday, February 16th, 2012
BS- Me (53)D-day: 5/18/10, lies and TT till (11/26/10). Currently in R. Don't carry others crap. It's your job to fix yourself, not your spouse.
lordhasaplan? (original poster member #30079) posted at 7:20 PM on Friday, March 2nd, 2012
BS- Me (53)D-day: 5/18/10, lies and TT till (11/26/10). Currently in R. Don't carry others crap. It's your job to fix yourself, not your spouse.
lordhasaplan? (original poster member #30079) posted at 7:10 PM on Tuesday, March 20th, 2012
BS- Me (53)D-day: 5/18/10, lies and TT till (11/26/10). Currently in R. Don't carry others crap. It's your job to fix yourself, not your spouse.
Fighting2Survive ( member #28410) posted at 8:27 PM on Tuesday, March 27th, 2012
Me: BW, 40.......Him: FWH, 40
D-day: 3-22-10
DS1: 11, DS2: crawling
Status: R going well
"When you can tell the story and it doesn't bring up any pain, you know it is healed." - Iyanla Vanzant, Broken Pieces
Fighting2Survive ( member #28410) posted at 3:30 AM on Saturday, March 31st, 2012
Me: BW, 40.......Him: FWH, 40
D-day: 3-22-10
DS1: 11, DS2: crawling
Status: R going well
"When you can tell the story and it doesn't bring up any pain, you know it is healed." - Iyanla Vanzant, Broken Pieces
mitz66 ( member #17888) posted at 12:50 PM on Saturday, March 31st, 2012
Thanks for the bump and the thread. I know I am codependent. Funny thing is last year when I went to ic for 8 months my codependent behaviour was in full swing. I did not want the counselor to think badly of me and I did not work through everything I needed. I had all the right words as I am in the helping field and missed an opportunity to really examine my why of staying and putting up with crap. I recognized some things in myself but pushed them away. I have reread codependent no more and it is time for me to accept that I am only responsible for me. I do not want to live this way anymore, with or without my wh. Freedom!
Me:50/55. BS Him:48 XWH/55 xwbfMarried almost 10 years/ 3 yr rel3 adult kids/ 2 adult kids1st DDay 2 wks after marriage/ Mar 105 OW's and false R's/ 1+ OW’s? April 2017 Divorced/ ended rel Mar 16No second chances ever again!
lordhasaplan? (original poster member #30079) posted at 3:44 AM on Monday, April 16th, 2012
BS- Me (53)D-day: 5/18/10, lies and TT till (11/26/10). Currently in R. Don't carry others crap. It's your job to fix yourself, not your spouse.
lordhasaplan? (original poster member #30079) posted at 2:39 PM on Thursday, May 24th, 2012
Bump!
BS- Me (53)D-day: 5/18/10, lies and TT till (11/26/10). Currently in R. Don't carry others crap. It's your job to fix yourself, not your spouse.
Edie ( member #26133) posted at 6:26 AM on Sunday, June 3rd, 2012
Fighting2Survive ( member #28410) posted at 9:19 PM on Friday, June 8th, 2012
Me: BW, 40.......Him: FWH, 40
D-day: 3-22-10
DS1: 11, DS2: crawling
Status: R going well
"When you can tell the story and it doesn't bring up any pain, you know it is healed." - Iyanla Vanzant, Broken Pieces
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