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Hi, I'm a happy "Ma" (grandma) of a wonderful just turned 3 girl that I am fortunate enough to get to watch 3-4 days a week while her parents work.

Yesterday at bathtime, I hear a few bubbles in the water, and "Surprise! I made little stink fart bubbles for you!"

I was reassured by her when lifting her out of the tub that she wouldn't pee or stink fart on me....

Good to know.

Last week when I picked her up from dance class, her teacher pulled me aside and told me she had been flipping everyone off....uh no, if you looked closely, she had an owie on her tall one finger's knuckle and was trying to get sympathy for it...you should have seen the teacher's face, she was soooo embarrassed...

I love my ninja ballerina!

I was reminded this morning of something my DD did when she was little bitty.

The Johnny Depp version of Willy Wonka came out and he says "Good morning starshine"

I can't tell you how many mornings I would wake up with DD in my face saying, "A-you-you Dar-shiiiiiine!" Good memories.

BTW, Crossbow and RS, I'm not feeling so bad about my Captain Underpants now. Mine at least keeps his hands out of his shorts. So far.

RS, we have been pretty careful with our language, but my MIL doesn't even try. SHE is a whole different story.

I remember when DS6 was, well, not yet 2, because DS4 hadn't been born. We were walking up the steps and I was holding his hand, he must've been 15-16 months. He looked up, smiled sweetly at me, and said, "Dada, these stairs are a bitch."

My MIL hates stairs, so I think I know where that came from...

One time DS4 said to us, "We have to be good. Not hitting or pinching or screaming or saying 'Damage.'" It took a couple of seconds for us to realize that he meant Dammit!

ETA: My DSs are 21 months apart. DS6 started talking at 7 months (!) and walking at 14 months, so that helps me place things more accurately in my memory.

[This message edited by Crossbow at 8:31 AM, March 12th (Monday)]

So yesterday my girl was running a little wild in TJ Maxx. When I took her out to the car, she said, "I run from Mommy." I said yes, you should not do that.

She said, "Because I might get lost."

Me: Yes

Baby G: I might get lost on Mars.

Me, choking back laughter: Yes.

Baby G: I might get lost on Mars and then I have to use my rescue ding.

Me: Your rescue ding?

Baby G: Yes my rescue ding so you can come get me.

Me: OH! You might get lost on Mars and then you have to use your rescue signal so I can come find you and be with you.

Baby G: Yes, I use my rescue ding so I can be with Mommy because I loooove her.

LOL!

Then on the way home, she started talking about how there was a crazy monster chasing us because he wanted to tickle us. But she's going to yell, "GO DIEGO GO!" at him and scare him away.

This afternoon I was on the way to the hospital to see my mother. DS was in the backseat talking about anything and everything as usual. I was a million miles away in thought when I heard, "MOM! FOCUS!" I turned around and he's got a serious expression on his face, jaw set, and finger pointed at me. He had a boo-boo on his foot and needed to show it off!

So last night DS3 asked for a snack. I asked him what he wanted. "Crackers."

I told him we had peanut butter crackers, cheese crackers and goldfish crackers.

He asked "Do we have graham crackers?"

I told him we did and reached for the box. He said:

No, no, no, Mommy. I don't WANT graham crackers. But you forgot them."

LOL smart kid!

No, no, no, Mommy. I don't WANT graham crackers. But you forgot them

Smarty pants.

My little guy was quite the booger. We were over at my sister's and I was already feeling . All the sudden DD is screaming, "MOMMMYYY!!!! DS is peeing all over the backyard!" I ran out and there is DS, pants around his ankles, trying to water the lawn. Of course I had to take a picture! Then I made him pull his pants up and come in the house.

there is DS, pants around his ankles, trying to water the lawn

Aubrie, I'm quite sure it's just a matter of time for my DS to do this.

I... have ...one.

Turns 2 on tuesday.

Currently creating another. (IVF) (clearly I am insane)

Exhausted and deranged (obviously, see above) from the hormones,drugs and The Gunslinger.

No cute stories. He did however, take a shit in the Fertility Specialists office today, while I was having my ovaries scanned THE BAD WAY. Stripped to naked-ass naked in 5 seconds flat and took a dump. As you can tell, Hubs was doing a FABULOUS job watching him.

Its ok though cos we are seeing the very same doc responsible for creating the free-ranger poo-er, so I just laid the blame right where it belonged. I said "Well Dr R, YOU made him, so somewhere along the line, you have to take responsibility for your actions"

But I don't think I have ever been so mortified in my life...

Speak of the Devil and he howls from the nursery. Of course. Juuust as I was about to turn in.

*deep sigh*

Please God, don't let tonight be the night when he figures out how to get out of the cot. Thanks in advance.

Soldier on, Soldiers. See ya tomorrow.

Ps. I have ankles like tree-trunks. *SOB*

So we are having blueberry eggos this morning for breakfast.

DD is learning a word a second, and hit me from all sides with a sentence when she had finished her first* waffle..

"More awfuls, mama? More awful PEES mama so cute?"

**Yes, her first of TWO waffles. She eats like a teenage boy. She's in the 50th %tile for weight, 75th for height, and 95th for noggin. She just run-run-runs everywhere all day long.

[This message edited by Jrazz at 10:08 AM, March 14th (Wednesday)]

WH and I took DS3 to the park today since it was so beautiful. He wanted to bring his Lightning McQueen kickball. We played soccer and catch and then he wanted to go up to the basketball courts. Up we went and he was frustrated because he couldn't make a basket, even sitting on WH's shoulders. So we're sitting on the bench (he's pouting), watching a guy on the other side of the courts shooting baskets, with a friend and girlfriend watching. He was pretty decent and made most of his shots. The first shot he missed, DS3 yelled (as loud as humanly possible) "Hey - that guy missed! He MISSED!"

The girlfriend and friend started laughing hysterically and the guy shooting baskets just laughed, but I was completely mortified.

From about 4 hours ago:

ME: DS4, what is this stuff all over the bathroom floor?

DS4: Shoe chocolate!

ME: Shoe chocolate????

DS4: Yeah, chocolate for shoes.

ME: Where did you find chocolate?

DS4: I climbed up high in the bafroom and got it!

ME: Wait, it's on your brother's shirt too? What IS "shoe chocolate" anyway???

DS4: Here it is! (holds up bottle of liquid shoe polish, black.)

LMAO at shoe chocolate and awfuls!

Last night Baby Green was being very two all night. Just a total PITA. Then at bedtime she stepped on a little carpet nail in between her room and the bathroom after she put her toothbrush away. She then decided she wanted to put a blanket in the doorway, and she said, "Sweetie . . . sweetie Mommy, be careful. I don't want you step on this."

And my heart is still in a puddle on her bedroom floor!

A little background. Last April (at not quite 2 years old) WH thought it would be cute/funny/likely to give me a heart attack if he let DS play on the full sized bulldozer in his uncles back yard. I was in the house holding my previously broken foot and doing the stutter-snort trying not to cry after DS had jumped on it. I got myself under control and walked back outside just in time to see DS fall out of the cab of the dozer, between the cab and the track and straight to the ground, bouncing off of things with his face all the way. Did you know you CAN run on a broken foot? Amazingly, his nose was broken but not displaced, and everything else was minor scratches and bruises.

So now, every SINGLE time he sees construction equipment we have the same conversation.

DS- MAMA! MAMA! Tractor!

Me- Yes, DS, that's a (insert name of equipment here)

DS- DS (third person is lovely) fall off tractor and break face!

ME- Yes, DS, you fell off of a bulldozer and broke your face.

DS- It hurt.

Me- Yes, I imagine it did hurt

DS- DS shouldn't climb on tractors.

Me- That's true DS.

DS- Can I climb the tractor?

Me- honking the horn with my forehead.

DS3 is the master of half compliments. (Ex: Mommy - makeup makes you look nice! Gee - thanks, kid).

This morning I was pleasantly surprised. He came into the living room where I was gathering my work stuff together and said "Mommy - you are so pretty!"

I said "Aw, thank you, honey."

He looked at me and said "Now what do you say to me?"

I thought for a second and said "DS3, you are so handsome."

He smiled and said "Yep. Thank you, Mommy."

DS- Can I climb the tractor?

Me- honking the horn with my forehead.

Today I took the kids for a walk. On our way home DS3 yelled, "Mom! I'm stepping on you! I'm stepping on you!" I looked down and he was dancing alongside me, stepping on my shadow. I started howling, "Ooowwww, that hurts! Stop DS! Ouch!" He dissolved into giggles. I'm sure this will be a daily ritual now.

A couple gems from the past week.

DS asked for "rice cream" (ice cream) As I got it together he said "I want dirt in it Mom! I want dirt!" I just looked at him. He huffed, started digging in the cabinet, and came out with a jar of Ovaltine. He wanted it sprinkled over the top of his rice cream.

Yesterday while cooking dinner I had the timer set at 15 minute intervals. Everytime it went off he would come tearing in the room. "MOOOM!!!!! It's beeping! Is it done!?" No DS, go play. Third time it beeps, here comes DS again. In nothing but his underpants. "MOM! Is it done now!?" Yes DS....WHERE are your clothes!? "Mom! I had to PEE!"

If you haven't asked them at least three times in one day "where are your clothes?" your day is not complete.

If you haven't asked them at least three times in one day "where are your clothes?" your day is not complete.

They do like being naked, don't they?

DS3's birthday party was this past weekend. My mom got him a small toy and a bunch of new T-shirts, underwear and socks, as he is outgrowing the ones he has. Today, he wore a pair of new underwear to school. I dropped him off and one of his friends came tearing over with a matchbox car yelling "Look what I got, G! A new car!" Without missing a beat, DS3 pulled down his pants and said "And I got new underwear!"

There was another mother in the room doing dropoff and I thought she was going to cry she was laughing so hard.