I had an IC appointment today, and we had a long talk about all of this.
She totally agrees with how I handle things, and we discussed...if I ever do OLD again...actually putting in my profile that my ex is gay. It will weed people out even easier. I don't think I will, but I am going to continue to be open and up front about MY life. As my IC said, there is still a lot of bigotry out there, hidden or not.
I told her the story of the man I was emailing (and the sexual gay innuendo) and her first reaction was "Eww!". Which was my first reaction too. Totally validated my reaction as being spot on. She said, "You didn't give him a second chance, did you?!!" Nope. I didn't. My gut told me to walk away, and I did.
What I have been feeling in myself, though, is a cold...feeling. Not as empathic as I used to be, a colder part to me that I don't like. We discussed a recent contact with my fSO, where I reacted very coldly. IC said, "cmego, that is not who you are. I think it is time to take a breather for a little while." And I agree. I don't want to lose my ability to be empathetic and nurturing, and I feel it slipping a little bit right now. I don't want to end up hating all men by what a few have chosen to act like. I want that wonderful naivety back, the hope that there may one day be a wonderful man in my life.
And, I'm going to continue being me. Plenty of guys haven't reacted poorly to my ex, so I know it isn't the way I'm delivering "the news". I believe in open and honest communication. Holding it back so I don't "scare someone away" or whatever, wouldn't be me.
"Don't allow your wounds to turn you into someone you are not."
^^^This is what I'm going to remind myself for a little while.