SurvivingInfidelity.com^®

SWAT.

Whatever happens, you have conducted yourself with grace and love throughout this terrible ordeal. You have reached your limit. And if that is what it is or it changes in the future, you have my full support.

I am so very sorry. You will get through this. Sending strength to you.

Absolutely sympathise Swat, and I know the debilitating rage that comes with TT. When I found out that my fWW had really made out with the OW over 8 times (and not the 'innocent' once off mistake she inferred), I went over the edge. I remember standing near my front door clenching my fists while I hyperventilated. I ashamedly punched my fist through the dry wall, tearing my hand to pieces before jumping in our car and screeching up the street, my only goal being to drive to OMs house and leave his face a red ruin. That level of anger and hurt still scares me to this day. The point is, I had reached my limit.

It sounds like you have hit yours mate. This is the lowest you can fall my friend, and I hope that you take solace noting that things WILL get better for you. We're here for you mate.

I was really sorry to read the latest on this. Nobody won, everyone lost. Frankly, having everyone of your friends and coworkers know about this really is already humiliating. Adding this is basically a perpetual trigger. This is absolutely a whole new dimension of the betrayal.

Everyone has a point of no return. FWIW, I don't think you are making a rash decision at all. My guess here is that WW did not disclose that these pics were taken to you before. It is still collateral damage, but as you see the size of the impact increase, I think its easy to get where it is just too much. What a douche he was to distribute these pics, but no loss in honor to make a decision move on.

You have to do what you think is best for you and your kids. Sound like you are, so good luck.

The lies probably more so than the actual cheating are what killed any chance of R in my marriage. You asked if she sent pics and she said no. She looked right in your eyes, no doubt full of the pain she put there and lied right to your face to protect herself... I get it. I know that feeling all too well SWAT. Hugs to you and your children.

I know it doesn't seem like it right now but you are made of tough stuff and you really are going to be ok. Your character and decency shine through each and every one of your posts.

That's exactly it. The lies during the affair are one heinous thing, continued lies after the fact are even worse.

I got the 'IDK, IDR' regarding very simple affair details that were easily confirmable, and my fWW's continual misleading of me in regards to my continued discovery of new and more disturbing facts drove me to filing for divorce. I pulled it in the end, but I know exactly how SWAT feels.

How they can compartmentalise and pre-meditate affair details to spy-levels of covertness before magically forgetting all details of it on discovery just amazes me.

(((SWAT)))

I have a tremendous amount of respect for you and awe at the way you've handled things so gracefully. I fully support whatever you choose in this situation. I'm sorry it has come to this, though.

Hats off to you SWAT. Whatever's next, you have my full support & admiration. Following your story has helped me with mine. If only I could find your strength.

All the best.

SWAT, I've been following your story and wondering how this was all going to play out. I agree with whoever said everyone has a point of no return, you had yours. I had mine. Once I found out through his secret email account that I finally read some horrible things he did financially and starting a home together, I had my point of no return. Some day you will thank her for giving you the gift of finding happiness. We don't see this now, a good friend recently told me that and I see how that can be in the future. Take care of yourself during this time. Maybe this was the door slammed you needed.

SWAT, checking in on you.

Strength

Sending prayers and strength.

Swat, how are you doing? We're worried about you, man.

((( Swat and kiddos )))

Hope you're doing OK, SWAT.

Swat you did all you could.

Come back when you are ready and take care of the kids.

I am sorry...your kids need you...make YOU and your kids your priority...YOU are the adult in this situation...

I again want to thank everyone. Your kind words and support have been tremendously helpful. Tuesday morning I attended a third funeral for a LEO. All three were in the county I was born in and I feel for the entire community there.

Well I spoke with my lawyer today and she has put together the proposition for WW to look at. I want nothing from her other than she needs to keep her hands off my pension. I worked for it she didn't and that it all I'm going to have to live on later in life. I changed the beneficiary on my life insurance from WW to my kids. I changed my "your dead" packet as well. My kids get everything and if I died tommorrow they are going to be alright financially. About three weeks ago now WW got a huge inheritance. And I do mean huge. So she doesn't need my money. I'm going to have to pay child support, that is a given and something I gladly will do. She really won't need it but that is not something a even care about now.

Today I'm just kind of sad. So much has happened in a short time and I'm just barely keeping my head above the water.

After all you've been through, you have this to say:

Today I'm just kind of sad

Are you related to Chuck Norris? (The greatest bad-ass ever?)

Are YOU Chuck Norris?

Good to hear from you.

[edited for those who might not get Chuck Norris jokes]

[This message edited by saturnpatrick at 11:35 PM, June 3rd (Tuesday)]

I don't know what to say my friend. I know you are hurt. I guess the only thing I know is that time heals. You have three beautiful children who love you and need you. And you have a good job. In time you will recover and be you again.

please keep in touch here. You and your story have touched a lot of people as evidenced by the size of your threads.

Hang in there friend.

Wow, that's a heavy load. I'm sorry you have to deal with all this at the same time.

How are you? Are you in IC? You're a prime candidate for PTSD. Have you seen an IC recently? You're carrying a lot on your shoulders. A little help wouldn't hurt.

Strength

I do have an IC. It helps some. It is difficult for me to open up with people. Which is kind of weird as I seem to spill my guts here. I'm just at a point where I feel a profound numbness about everything. When it rains it pours ya know.

Some people where asking about the pictures and the PO and all of that. To be honest I don't care what or if she does anything about it. It doesn't matter when or if OM sent them and to who he sent them. There was only one time those pictures were sent that bother me now. When she sent them. The fact that OM friends are showing off her pictures just shows the class of people they really are. I hope WW is happy with just about every cop in the department seeing her T&A and what's in between. It sucks but most of the guys and gals I work with are genuinely good people and they understand what I'm going through. OM, WW and his friends are burning bridges faster than they can be built. My department sent us to a funeral for a NYS trooper. Several people were authorized to go, but OM friends asked to go since it is a work day with no actual police work. They were all denied and no one wanted them as travel partners anyway or so I have been told m

Yes. Chuck Norris is a bad ass and I wish I was him right about now.