Scorpio2310 (original poster member #41561) posted at 11:52 PM on Thursday, August 28th, 2025
I have lied to, emotionally cheated on, and hid my medical bills from my partner. I tell myself that I did it to put her first, the lying and hiding medical bills from her. I went on a singles sight (I never met anyone nor talk to anyone) and nearly got scammed by a bot. Those I’m sure were ego kibble and pride’s fault. I’m putting my wrong doings out there and asking for help. At this point I’m not even sure about the reasons why I did those things anymore. It’s been a long while since I’ve been here but I know I was able to find some help last time.
hikingout ( member #59504) posted at 5:11 PM on Friday, August 29th, 2025
Here is what I learned worked for me:
Do not address things just to fix the relationship or to appease her. You are landing back here probably due to that method, and a lot of people do that.
Instead, you need to think more about: who do I want to be? What types of changes do I need to make in my life to be that person.
True change happens when you decide that the pain of changing is less than the pain of staying where you are. If you commit to yourself to work on your personal growth, all your relationships from here on out will be better. The one with her, other friends and family, people you haven’t even met yet.
Start with the man in the mirror.
8 years of hard work - WS and BS - Reconciled
Scorpio2310 (original poster member #41561) posted at 2:02 AM on Saturday, August 30th, 2025
Thank you for your insight Hiking. 🙂 You hit the nail on the head, I was told the same thing or similar by a lot of people, including my best friend. Honestly I think I’ve been fighting the change out of fear. Fear of losing the person I was, the person I have been for more than 40 years. The person that survived being molested by a cousin as a kid, a drunkard abusive father, parents divorced when I was seven, broken back at 14… I could go on. That person… who also did terrible things, emotionally cheated on a wonderful woman, talked her into letting me back into her life only to do something similar a decade later.
Right now, I swing back and forth from defending and coddling myself with bs excuses to begging the proverbial bus that I threw myself under to back up and run over me a few dozen times.
