The good, the bad and the ugly truth.
I got everything last night, everything. Months I tried making sense of something I just couldn’t see my H doing for the reasons he claimed, I have tried my very best to heal while having my head spin round at 100 miles per hour looking for the missing pieces, I tried so hard to not be dragged back in the loop of doom but I couldn’t, I was getting better at it though.
What my H told me last night perfectly explained why there were only ever 8 incidents spread over 2.5 years and also I’m pretty certain my H didn’t have any feelings for little miss available.
Turns out I’ve been married to a toddler and his reaction to being told off wasn’t good.
Instead of being riddled with jealousy and feelings of being less than, today I find it laughable that the only time my H was physical with Ap was because he was in fact throwing his teddy bear out of his cot in protest.
I can’t really explain my feelings today, it’s a mixture of a few things I think, I don’t feel any sadness or anger which is strange for me because usually it’s either one or the other, no pain, just sort of well it is what it is, it’s over and now what will I do because my job here is done, I have nothing to look for anymore.
No rumination this morning.
Not really asking any question really just wanting to let it out, obviously any input/thoughts is always greatly appreciated.
Bruce.
