SurvivingInfidelity.com^®

I thought I´d give an update on my situation.

Lsst Discovery was around May (online cam service), After a few months of uncertainty, still physical small affection and verbal too. After BS took a small holiday to gather her thoughts, we have been not close (physical affection is gone, so is verbal) Already 3 months of this.

Holiday season was REALLY hard, still struggling, trying to rebuild myself. We have been on Couples Counseling for about 5-6 sessions already. I continue on my personal counseling. She has started hers. The cost of it all does not help either.

I have cut off all use of porn, it has been months off of it, honestly, I do not miss it one bit.

Still a LOT of work ahead, uncertainty is as always, no promises of anything from my wife's side, and I completely accept this and am not asking for any reassurances.

Some days are terribly hard. It is hard to hope for reconciliation and love when I am having a hard time loving myself... Even beautiful family moments have a deep undercurrent of sadness, it hits me completely unexpected. The fact that I risked all this, the core of what ALL is about, this family, for something so stupid and selfish... it is devastating. What I did to my wife, the pain and sadness I put her through...

Some days are easier, we laugh, we share nice moments, we sit close, our arms brush, and I am happy. It is silly, I feel like a kid going with a girl to the cinema and getting excited about having touched her hand.

I don't know where this will take me. I have no guarantees, I just know i NEED to continue moving forward.

wish me luck :)

Thank you.

I hear you. I'm 13 years out and we are still "together," but "together" got redefined. There is no longer any physical relationship. None. For me it is about shame that I have not been able to resolve. For her it is about. . .I don't know because she refuses to talk about it. Refused any form of therapy. I don't blame her. She has reverted to survival mode. I brought all this upon us.

We have fashioned a sort of partnership that is distantly affectionate and sometimes fun. We are devoted to our families and have endured some very sad times together with unstinting mutual support. I trust her in this 100%. I think she trusts me in this way also but will never again trust me not to stray.

I have not strayed again and would not dream of it.

That's where we are. I wish you a better outcome, friend.