SurvivingInfidelity.com^®

My latest update is that my STBXWW moved out yesterday. She got an apartment and finally moved out her bed and I moved out the basement and back into the upstairs of my house. I took back the master bedroom that for well over a decade was our bedroom, then for about a year and a half her bedroom, and now is mine again. It was necessary. I'm excited about it. I'm finally getting out of infidelity hell via divorce. And yet, this isn't how I planned things to go. She's everywhere in this house. We built it all together. Getting her stuff out and starting doing the things the way I want them, undoing some of her stuff that annoyed me or just doesn't serve me well. These walls saw it all, there's ghosts here of a young couple full of hopes and dreams and love ready to take on the whole world and create and nourish our family. I would say those dreams didn't go according to plan, but that's not really accurate. They didn't end well, but for a long time they did go according to plan. There was a lot of love between these walls, and the ending doesn't make the entire story fake. As she left she wept, and not a soft cry but a hyperventilating bitter weeping. I held her in an embrace and, maybe for the last time, she was calm in my arms. The crying subsided and she was able to feel safe in my arms one last time. Then she left, weeping again. This entire thing is such an ocean of emotions and reflective thoughts. I don't need any advice, I just wanted to put this out into the world amongst those who may have been through it.

That's a lot!

When you have the energy for it, perhaps start with repainting your master bedroom. It is surprising what a change like that can do to ground you in the new. I for one am glad you are out of the basement!