SurvivingInfidelity.com^®

So I'm finally healed enough that infidelity related shows don't upset me, and I was watching this show Love and Death about an affair. At some point the man in the affair made the comment to his ap that he was being a better husband because he was happier in the affair. And at some point my stbxww made that same comment about her affair, talking about how she in part justified it because she was so much happier with the ap in her life and therefore she was a better mother and wife. So this comment kind of struck me in the show. It kind of sounds analogous to if I were to give my wife high doses of sleeping pills slipped into her drink or something. I could think to myself, "well, I'm a better husband and father when she's asleep and not bitching about whatever, and plus, she could use the rest anyway..." Of course it's damaging her long term health and I could slip up and use too high a dose and kill her (similar to some STDS), but damnit the whole family just seems to be better off when I'm happy and she's not complaining about things. Yeah, she'd probably be devastated and feel betrayed if she found out I was secretly poisoning her behind her back, but it just makes me so much happier. And when she does get up, groggy but refreshed, I'm able to be so much nicer to her after a full day of not having to interact with her "in one of her moods..."

I struggle to wrap my mind around how anyone ever comes to the place of justifying their affair by sincerely believing it's somehow in everyone's best interest and not just them being a selfish, cake eating egomaniac.