AppleTree1 (original poster new member #86465) posted at 10:36 AM on Tuesday, February 24th, 2026
Hi everyone... Well I was warned! I'm back again! Back in August 25 I disclosed how I found my husband had been unfaithful multiple times over a period of 6 years whilst away with work. I stayed because I felt we were worth fighting for. It seemed to be an extremely poor coping mechanism for some hugely painful moments in our life and when considering how much love and respect remained...it felt worth fighting for. Both of us dove into IC and actually things were getting better! I have learnt so much about myself. We started dating again, and really sifting through the ashes to analyse what could and couldn't be taken in to a new relationship. Over Christmas it felt like we had a path forward. We knew it was going to take years, we were working through the grief in a healthy way, and it was like a cloud had been lifted from him. He was the fun person I fell in love with!
But here I am, back on here, to say I have just learnt more (whyyyyy do they trickle truthing the things we already know in our gut to be true) I knew it was always a risk as he did his own therapy and uncovered more of what he buried. But the latest is Chat rooms for online sex for 6 years.. in our home. I suspected it, but had no proof, just the gut feeling I still hadn't been told the truth. He did not willingly disclose this information in the original timeline, nor the hundreds of times I've begged him since. He finally caved this weekend. The new information made me physically sick and I escaped to my mums. I know deep down, this is it now, my body can not take this stress anymore.
But here I am still loving him and wishing we could fix this- breaking this bond feels like I might actually die from the pain. But that repulsion, that's the first time it's happened and I've not tried to rationalise his behaviour....so my question is how do I keep using this? How do I hold on to that repulsion to help me move on. To do the thing I know needs to be done? When instinctively, I'm in so much pain that I just want to run to him and he tell me everything is going to be okay.
Context:
31F
High flying career
Good family and friends.
Sporty and active.
I am not financially dependant. I stayed because I truly believed we could do it.
Wayward history:
Tinder
Chat room sex
Hidden porn use
Getting black out drunk and going home with people on two occasions I know of
Flirting and inappropriate behavior in bars
