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If anyone remembers an earlier thread I posted, my wife's co worker/AP was fired for posting some stupid things about the boss on Facebook. Not only was he fired, but he was also officially trespassed from company property. Well, he showed up there yesterday. She saw him, but she's pretty sure he didn't see her because she immediately did a 180, walked the other direction, ducked into an office and called her supervisor. She pointed him out and told her that he had been fired and trespassed. A couple of supervisors approached him, told him he needed to immediately leave, escorted him off, and told him if he ever showed his face again they were calling the police.

Phew. I have some mixed feelings. It triggers me that he showed up there. It's a retail store tho, and he lives close by, so he could have just been there to pick some things up, or he could have been looking for my wife. In either case, she handled it perfectly. She not only avoided him, but reported his presence to management, then told me about it as soon as she got home.

So I was caught between being angry that this is even a thing, and being quite happy about how she handled the situation. I got kind of quiet for a while, but at the end of the day I expressed to her that I was... pleased at how she dealt with it. I don't really think it could have gone any better. She told her boss "He shouldn't be here, he's trespassed and he makes me uncomfortable."

Her current supervisor is fairly new to that location so not only did she not know who he is, but doesn't know "the story" with my wife or his stupidity. She really likes my wife so she jumped to action, gathered up a couple of others and immediately escorted him off property under threat of arrest.

So now her new boss knows who he is, he makes my wife extremely uncomfortable, and that he's not welcome there. My wife was allowed to stay in the side office until he was gone.

I'm angry and upset about the whole damned thing, but... she handled it perfectly. She was really nervous telling me about it. She led in with "I have to tell you something" - often famous last words, lol. I'm... proud of her, and I'm upset that he's even on my radar at all at the same time. She did, however, immediately tell me what happened saying "I promised you I would tell you if I ever saw him again, so I'm telling you right now." She knew telling me risked triggering me but told me anyway.

This shit is so emotionally confusing, but at the end of the day I couldn't have asked her to handle it any better. As we used to say back in my Mortal Kombat days, "Flawless Victory." He's done. As far as my wife is concerned he's the enemy and she can't stand the sight of him. That's pretty damned reassuring to me.

[This message edited by Pogre at 12:53 PM, Monday, June 8th]

It does sound like she handled it in the best way possible. That's great.

When my WH's AP made attempts to reconnect years later, I remember feeling anger and a deep sadness. My own husband invited a person into both my live and our children's lives who had the power to hurt us deeply. He gave her the potential to intrude in our family's lives forever. It's a painful realization.

Pogre
Take your wife out for dinner.
Open doors for her, help her into the car, be attentive, have a nice evening.
Or get a nice bottle of wine and some takeaway and give her a foot-rub this evening.

Then tell her how you appreciate that she trusted you with the truth about what OM did by coming to the store, how glad you are with her reaction.

You can be honest about the trigger and the pain, but the overall outtake from this is that she seems to be responding correctly. Now imagine if she had reacted the same way at work, but not told you. Imagine that you somehow hear about this 2-3 weeks later… THAT would be worse IMHO.