ShockedShattered (original poster new member #87307) posted at 12:42 PM on Saturday, July 25th, 2026
My moment of clarity happened.
We have been having a wonderful four months of reconciliation. Hard talks, read the book, meaningful and fun times. I thought everything was going really well. Until the other betrayed husband reached out. He let me know that my husband and his wife were still having the affair. Just hidden better. All four of us talked together so the truth came out. And I knew I am done with the marriage. Right then.
My husband wants to work it out. He feels he is sick and needs help. But, I don't feel like that road anymore. I tried the reconciliation and it failed. I put my all into it. Now, I am ready to focus on my future. I told him we are now separated and am figuring out the steps to divorce. My mental health is coming first now and I need to be done with his lying and cheating and gaslighting. I see he is not the man I thought he was. Thank goodness the other husband reached out! I will forever be grateful to him.
I am back to not eating or sleeping but I know I will get through it. I am devastated and don't want the divorce but he made marriage impossible.
Thank you all for your support on this site. You've helped me more than you could ever know.
Unhinged ( member #47977) posted at 12:56 PM on Saturday, July 25th, 2026
I'm so sorry he's putting you through this nightmare. Just know that the failed R attempt is not on you. It's entirely on him, 100%.
Take care of yourself as well as you can. Try to eat small, healthy meals, stay hydrated, get outside and let Mother Nature heal you a bit.
Thank you all for your support on this site. You've helped me more than you could ever know.
We know. I know. It's why I keep trying to pay it forward. SI is a truly wonderful community.
Married 2005
D-Day April, 2015
Divorced May, 2022
"The Universe is not short on wake-up calls. We're just quick to hit the snooze button." -Brene Brown
