I (32F) and my husband (38M) have been married for 14 years. I had a drunken one night stand 14 months ago with a woman I had never met and have never seen again. The guilt and shame ate me alive so i told him a few days later.
I did everything he asked me to. I got sober and have not touched alcohol since. He now has say over who I hang out with and how long I hang out with them. He asked me to quit my job, so I did. He asked me to get rid of my smutty books, so I did. He asked me to get rid of all my ugly pajama clothes and wear girl clothes to bed, so I did.
The one thing he has asked me to do that I am struggling with is to lose weight. At DDay, I weighed 195 pounds and he wanted me to weigh 140-150 pounds.
I lost 30 pounds over the span of the first 9 months but the weightloss has since staggered. But I am now leaner and stronger then I have ever been my whole life.
Out of nowhere, we ended up having a big fight about my weight a few days ago. He says because my weightloss has become stagnant, it is proof that I am not committing myself to reconciliation. He then claimed I have done nothing towards reconciliation and when I tried to list off everything I have done, he shut me down and told me to stop talking.
I listened to him try to explain why he needed me to lose weight and I tried to listen and understand, but it hurt to hear. My self-esteem took a huge hit to hear what he thinks of my body and I started hyperventilating when he tried to touch me.
I am still hyperaware of my loose skin, touching thighs, and sagging. I am not comfortable with him touching me. He said since I am not comfortable with him touching me, I might as well sleep in another room.
So I am now sleeping on the couch.
Wayward wives, did your husband make you lose weight to forgive you? How did you get through that without taking it personally? I don't want to divorce. I want reconcilation but I am struggling with understanding what my weight has to do with reconciliation.
[This message edited by NoOneReally at 7:11 AM, Thursday, August 20th]
