I discovered my husband cheating over a year ago, and I tried to give him several chances to repent, but he decided that he would prefer to continue to go on Tinder rather than fix our marriage. He threw it all away for cheap thrills. I have told him that I want a divorce, but he said that he's not going to file. So that is probably something that I will have to do, once I start making money (SAHM currently). I am just applying for jobs and trying to cohabitate until I can afford my own place.
While my husband obviously doesn't respect me or my opinion, I was shocked to find out that he booked a ticket to his home country without telling me. I only found out because of a notification on a tablet that he let the kids use. It was just for a week out, and he even asked me to give him a ride to the airport. What angers me is:
A. He booked it on credit, while also moaning and groaning about the bills (he wanted me to be a SAHM, btw)
B. He just assumed that I would watch the kids, cat and home (which I do anyway. But I hate that he just expects it).
C. He has been there for 3 days already, and he has not called or asked about our kids once.
Honestly, this is always how our marriage has been. He has gone on several vacations alone over the years, while I have to sacrifice and manage with the scraps. But it just angers me that he says that he loves the kids. If you love your kids, why would you just get up and go? Why wouldn't you call them? I feel like they are a plaything for him - to put back on the shelf when you're tired of them.
Anyway, I know that this will probably be my new reality: him doing whatever the heck he wants. While I have to continue to be present for the kids and make sure they are okay. And I am fine with that. I would literally do anything for my girls. But it just sucks that he does the bare minimum, and he is God in their eyes. Ugh.
At this point, the marriage is dead in my eyes. But I don't know if I should just try to file the divorce now and be a step ahead of him. Or should I wait until I can afford a lawyer, since he controls all of the money? Give me your thoughts, tips, anything!
