Lotus6065 (original poster member #86399) posted at 1:07 AM on Friday, October 23rd, 2026
I need advice from people that have gone through what I am going through…
STBX and I have not spoken in over a year. We are nearing the end of our divorce. Kids are ages 23 and 20. I have gone no contact with him except via emails and I basically have built up a fear of seeing him or talking to him in person, even on the phone. I think it’s from the trauma he caused me with living a second life with another woman for over two years and then my harsh discovery- the shock of all this. I’m wondering if it might help me get over my fear if I schedule a call with him on the phone about an easy subject (ie- daughter shopping for a new car) that is not very personal or emotional. I am afraid how I will react/feel when I talk to him and it may make me more weak and sad -however it could also empower me because maybe I would realize I am over him and he won’t have as much of an effect on me anymore. So my question is, should I call him or should I continue no contact? (obviously the no contact has been for my own healing purposes after being blindsided in a 27 year marriage) would love to hear your thoughts/experiences. This forum is so helpful to me.
My best to all other warriors out there who have gone thru this 💗
Together 32yrs, Married 27yrs, WS had 2yr+ affair & flings with other women 8yrs back, D-Day 6/6/25, Filed for Divorce 9/25, WS currently with AP
