Since my h and I have been back from traveling I have been working in an HR department. And I had a terrible time in the first unit I was in. The supervisor hated me, and she said things to me that were terrible. She tried to fire me and the higher ups talked with me and moved me. I got actually a better job from many standpoints but it was a lateral move. It just put me in a position with much better visibility. From my coworkers standpoint in that initial they are probably left ri believe I failed, but the issue was I could not work well under the constant bullying.
I will say she chased off the next person who came as well. They had to move her too and this brought an onslaught of issues—-that culminated in me having to testify against this lady.
So on top of everything that department likely has some sort of idea that I am the enemy.
The director of that unit and the supervisor retire tomorrow. They have an interim, but I know my past experience is broader, and I am better able to see a vision for the software and systems they use. I have applied.
But ever since then I feel very anxious and vulnerable. It’s been a long time since I had to be evaluated like this. And I am likely the underdog for a few reasons:
1. She has been in the unit 12 years, and has been pretty battered by management.i think k it would be hard for them to disappoint her.
2. I have not been in a position where my vision and strategic leadership skills have been utilized.
3. I am not sure what the optics/politics are going to be and whether they can believe they can be overcome.
I am pretty sure I will get an interview. And I have prepared and think I have a compelling picture to paint. But sometimes the uncertainty is so painful that I want to maybe withdraw.
I know it at least puts me in a position to signal I am ready to take on more at work, and even if I don’t get the position that’s still a good opportunity. I don’t even think I mind if I don’t land the position, so I am really not sure why I am feeling this way.
I also feel like if I do get it, I would be jerking the rug out from under this woman which potentially makes things look even worse. But in other ways I think she represents the status quo, she has been part of the systemic issue, and I do think that I am the better leader if I can win over the team. My initial plans would be to meet with them individually and find out what is going well, what isn’t, things they wish they could do more of, things the department should do more of, etc, and come up with a matrix of easy wins, short term and long term goals and do all the easy wins immediately.
Their culture needs a major over haul.
I am not sure what I am looking for. But basically, is withdrawing a better choice given how it’s upsetting me for some reason, and the other parts involved.
