Newest Member: loyaltylost


Me-57 BS Him 65-WS Married 38 yrs, together 40 Affair Aug-Dec 09 official D-12/14/09 broke NC 1/31/10 second D 3/19/10

Almost 12 years ago....update

I jointed back in 2010, but the A was in 2009. It took me until 2010 to find this site. I had always said I was on the 5 year healing plan...and I was. It took a solid 5 years to find joy in living again. I wondered many times if I picked wrong...but 12 years later, we are in a good spot in our life. I love him, while not 'in love' I can't imagine him not in my life. We have built a good life. I totally trust him 95% of the time, I do not think I will ever get to a pure trust position, but that is another story for another time.

Last week, he had a family member pass away. I was looking at the funeral home website (out of state) only to see an obituary for OW, she had just died a few days later. I have really been struggling with emotions that I am not sure really what they are. I turned off the TV and showed him...his response..SO? I did tell him at least we knew she wouldn't show up at the door..which he said...there is that. She did call out of the blue 5 years ago (we moved out of state) but didn't leave a message. Showed up on our caller ID twice.

I hate to admit, I have looked her up several times now that I know she is dead but seems for my closure and not his. She appears to have had cancer, which then makes me wonder if that is why she called 5 years ago. I am pretty confused by it. She was only 1 year older than myself. I looked at her pictures at the funeral....not that different from me.

I am just not sure how to package this and put it all to bed. Even more...I am not sure why it is bothering me so much. He seems to be unfazed by it.

Thanks in advance for just giving me a place to post...I haven't been here since 2018.

14 comments posted: Monday, February 15th, 2021

Find a phone number on Spokeo

I am looking for someone who has access to Spokeo, I need to look up a phone number. Please PM me if you have it and willing to look up a number.


0 comment posted: Friday, January 2nd, 2015

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