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Rebuildingman

I am a rebuilding man - a work in progress

Why Can't I Forgive Myself

Not sure if this is the correct forum but here goes. We are coming up on the 9th anniversary of "discovery day". Our marriage is solid and good as far as I can tell - and I have been good and faithful for the entire time since d-day. We had intensive counseling and I have had intensive therapy, although not recently. We vacation, have great times, and family and friends have all but forgotten about what happened. But increasingly over time, I am feeling more and more guilty for all the pain and heartache I put everyone through. I am getting no indications from anyone that they still hold anything against me, but in my quiet times I am in anguish. 9 years is a long time and I'm sure that we are blessed and have way beaten the odds, considering all the things I did.

Am I unusual? Are there any tricks to letting things go and forgiving myself? I am not tempted to ever repeat the behaviors and get almost physically ill when I consider the things I did before discovery but here we are.

Insights would be helpful!

20 comments posted: Monday, April 4th, 2022

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