Newest Member: Sodapop1234

Emotionalhell

Me BS x2. 50ish Divorced WH #1. IHS with wayward #2 Dday #1 Oct. 2014Dday # 2 August 2018. Dday #3 December 17th.

Trust

As everyone here has experienced being able to trust after betrayal is difficult.

I have found that when I hear people talk negatively about others I see this as a red flag, someone that I can’t trust.

Is anyone else felt this way? I seem
to tolerate so much less . And I find I am more of a loner than I used to be.

4 comments posted: Monday, April 8th, 2024

Google tv

I have bought google streaming device. What else can I do with it? Can you spy?

0 comment posted: Sunday, January 14th, 2024

Rentals

I haven’t rented since I was early 20s. Any advice on not getting scammed? I checked on rental yesterday, but the Facebook profile name makes me question if it is legitimate.
How do you verify?

6 comments posted: Friday, January 5th, 2024

How many people knew

I can’t help but wonder how many people knew about WH affair, especially Wh family. It made it terribly hard to make it through Christmas with his family. To those that knew about the affair I hold you accountable too and have no trust whatsoever with you as well. Knowing and not telling or speaking up to the WAyward makes you a supporter of the lies and betrayal.

If people would take a stand and hold people accountable there would be much less tolerance for such behavior. Many moons ago the community would gather together and take these situations in their own hands.

To the other men/women that are involved as the other is that the kind of relationship you want? Do you not realize if he/she does it with you they would also cheat on you. There is nothing special about the lies they share with you.

12 comments posted: Monday, January 1st, 2024

Life planners

Has anyone purchased a life planner? Was it worth the investment?
I’m considering the life planner for anxiety. It’s pricey though.

1 comment posted: Monday, January 1st, 2024

What did you ask for from your WS

WH has agreed to do whatever it takes to keep my love. I requested all access to his electronic devices and to be tracked on life 360.
I also told him he needs to do some deep soul searching. That he needs to consider seeing a therapist to work on himself but I’m not forcing him to go to therapy. Working on himself has to be something he wants to do.

Any advice on what all I should task for?

6 comments posted: Friday, December 29th, 2023

Life 360 app

WH has agreed to give me all access and passwords to his electronic devices and to be put on life 360… is there a way to know that he is "cheating" with his location on life 360?

2 comments posted: Friday, December 29th, 2023

Funny

So a cartoon that I wanted to paste imagine here but can't figure out how to paste.
So I will describe it to you.
1950 style picture of a man and a women talking. Man says "I am spiritual"
women reply's "Demons are spirits too. Be more specific."

1 comment posted: Thursday, December 28th, 2023

Question for the wayward

How long did it take you to get past the denial stage.? D you really think that your spouse believed your lies? Did you believe your lies?

1 comment posted: Wednesday, December 27th, 2023

WH Still in denial

WH denied there was anything to the text.. said we just joke back and forth like that.
I wasn’t born yesterday! No one innocent jokes about "desperately needing to see you" "think about you all the time because of what you gave me last time"
Nope!! Liar! 🤥
Lying doesn’t make it go away or that it never happened.
The gaslighting. Do they believe their own lies?
Says he loves me but you don’t treat ppl you love like shit.
Just needed to get that out.

11 comments posted: Wednesday, December 27th, 2023

Recommendations for moving forward

What did you do to help yourself heal and move forward? Any book recommendations? I want to work on myself before allowing anyone in my life. I want to be sure I never am attracted to the same type of person or situation.
How long did it take you to get everything in order to leave? Should I talk to an attorney first before moving out?

How did you handle being alone? I know there are a lot worse things than being alone. Just asking what you did to help you with the new beginning?

4 comments posted: Tuesday, December 26th, 2023

Advice please

I’m finding it difficult to be In the same house as WH. I’m trying to be normal without letting him think all of his actions are ok.

After his daughter’s family’s visit I plan on moving into the front bedroom which has a bathroom across the hall.

I haven’t allowed him to help with the little things like household chores. It is killing him but at the same time I’m afraid that he will help him justify his affairs.

How do I navigate this? I’m definitely not playing the pick me game. Those woman can have him. A part of me wants WH to hurt by my actions of moving towards finding my own place. I’m saving money towards moving out and have plans to visit an attorney but having difficulty having any genetic conversations with him. Any advice?
I’m constantly nauseated and just want to run.

4 comments posted: Monday, December 25th, 2023

Merry Christmas

Merry Christmas to my SI family. Wishing you a day of peace and happiness.

12 comments posted: Monday, December 25th, 2023

Personality traits of a cheater

I have been listening to podcast and reading some articles about personality traits of cheaters. The following is what I’ve learned.

1. Extroverts are more likely to cheat bc they crave adventures and are a low conscientiousness.
2. They build a reputation of being someone you can trust to make cheating easier.
3. A lot of them were sexually abused as a child.
5. most don’t see anything wrong with their actions
6. Some of the podcast I have listened to a serial cheater being interviewed and cheater himself says shame on you for staying with someone that hurt you. This seems like a split personality trait to me.

Do any of these personality traits fit the personality of your cheater?

20 comments posted: Sunday, December 24th, 2023

Reflecting

I have been reflecting on how I have responded with the previous discoveries of his affairs. I really have no idea how many affairs he has had and don’t care anymore.

After each discovery of betrayal of whatever I’d get stuck in flight or fight and to cope I became a workaholic in some respects. I didn’t sit with my emotions and figure this out for myself. Because of my constant need for staying busy I allowed myself to get sucked back into how kind he is to my face and allowed wh to act like everything is okay.

Thankfully this time I am somewhere between freeze and flight but I know I’m not letting myself get sucked back into his kindness. Facing that if I do I will just get hurt again. I must do what is best for me. Yes it may be hard but I do deserve peace and I deserve to be treated with respect.

I also think my fear of leaving and finding another cheater has held me back… just some thoughts. I tried to take what “good” I thought there was in this relationship and move on. But all the “good” was just lies while he plotted conquering his next sex act.

5 comments posted: Sunday, December 24th, 2023

Syncing iPad and iPhone

Is there a way to synchronize his iPad with his iPhone text messages? I can easily access his iPad. He leaves it an easy place for me to check. We have separate accounts. Don’t know if that will make a difference.

1 comment posted: Saturday, December 23rd, 2023

Online therapy

Has anyone tried online therapy ? What was your experience?

6 comments posted: Wednesday, December 20th, 2023

Once a cheater always a cheater

Well, I’m back. This time I see how pathetic he is in his attempt to lure other women to him. Via text message. Very obvious he has an ego problem. Now I just want to make it through the holidays. I don’t want a divorce. Just want this chapter of my life behind me.
Why did I ever think he could change.

7 comments posted: Sunday, December 17th, 2023

The older I get the fewer ppl I like

I guess the tittle of this post says it all. I used to like almost everyone I met. I like very few people anymore. I see so many red flags in people as far as trust and respect and what they want from me. Some ppl only contact you for a certain need of theirs. I am very careful who I confide in. I am also aware of peoples actions. Even the smallest action can raise a red flag.
I am still kind to people just very careful with what I say and who I choose to spend time with and I am good with spending time alone. There is so much peace in solitude. Interesting though some people cannot stand to be alone or be in a quiet room.

6 comments posted: Friday, June 30th, 2023

Keylogger

Any recommendations on keyloggers?
How easy are they to install?

TIA

2 comments posted: Monday, November 28th, 2022

Danielle

Has anyone read a book written by the betrayed woman? The book is titled Danielle.Named after the affair partner.

I’ve tried searching for this book with no luck

0 comment posted: Saturday, November 26th, 2022

Phone apps

Has anyone used spy phone tracker on the iPhone? Does the other person know you are tracking them?

2 comments posted: Monday, August 30th, 2021

Syncing devices

Is it possible to sync an iPhone and an my husband’s iPad to show his location without him being aware?

0 comment posted: Tuesday, September 15th, 2020

Checking internet history

Is there easy way to look at the last internet history that has been deleted without installing a keylogger?

9 comments posted: Friday, October 4th, 2019

Monitoring

WH often stays up late to do paperwork. There is a door up by his office. Aside from staying up and checking on him how can I know if he has left during the night? What tricks or tips can you give me for knowing he uses that door durning the night? Damn infidelity makes you doubt every action and word

11 comments posted: Wednesday, September 11th, 2019

WiFi router help

Is there a way to check the web sites WH visits through the WiFi router? And how else is the WiFi router helpful?

1 comment posted: Sunday, August 18th, 2019

Recommendations please

I need recommendations for a good tracking device that doesn’t need to be recharged regularly. And is affordable and easy to hide. The one I have is not working well

3 comments posted: Monday, June 3rd, 2019

Tracking

Can you use a pay as you go phone as a gps tracker? Anyone have experience with that?

3 comments posted: Saturday, December 22nd, 2018

Healing from Trauma

I just started reading Healing from Trauma by Jasmin Lee Cori.

It explains how trauma changes your phsiolology. Only 3 chapters into it and I can’t wait to finish reading. It has already described how the trauma of infidelity mentally affected me. Talks about getting stuck in fight or fight in response to trauma.

I will give an update when I finish reading.

8 comments posted: Thursday, December 20th, 2018

Books on how to not attract a cheater

Are there any books on how to avoid attracting ppl that cheat or have personality disorders?

1 comment posted: Monday, October 22nd, 2018

For those that have used a keylogger

What brand did you use? Was it easy to install?

I want to install on windows 7

Thank you

5 comments posted: Thursday, October 11th, 2018

Burner phone and google accounts

How do you find a burner phone and how do you check for google accounts?

5 comments posted: Friday, September 14th, 2018

iPhone spyware

Is there a iPhone spyware that is easy to use undected ?

0 comment posted: Monday, September 3rd, 2018

Keylogger questions

Are they easy to install on a lab top computer, windows 7?

And are you able to check them from another location or do you have to be on the computer you installed it? What is a good reliable keylogger?

2 comments posted: Thursday, August 30th, 2018

Pod cast

Are there any podcast or you tube videos that have helped you heal and helped you identify a safe person, red flags?

2 comments posted: Saturday, July 21st, 2018

Anonymous texting

Is there anyway to send an anonymous text? to send without being known who sent it

3 comments posted: Thursday, May 24th, 2018

Computer question

While using waywards computer to scan something for a friend I noticed he had a document with OW name on it. My question is can I open it without being caught? Does the time and date change each time it is opened. I’m just not computer savvy enough to know.

I don’t want to confront him with it. If I find that something is still going on I want some time to get my ducks in a row and leave.

3 comments posted: Sunday, March 18th, 2018

Healing from trauma

Does anyone have a good book suggestion on healing from trauma that are infidelity related?

1 comment posted: Saturday, February 17th, 2018

Thyroid health books

What is the best book you have read on thyroid health?

And has anyone read Hashimoto's thyroiditis Protocol?

6 comments posted: Friday, April 7th, 2017

The Betryal Bond

Has anyone read The Betrayal Bond? I found it on Amazon and I'm considering purchasing it.

[This message edited by Emotionalhell at 7:12 PM, March 8th (Tuesday)]

8 comments posted: Sunday, March 6th, 2016

Sweet potatoe Queens book of Love

I am only on the first book. There is a series of them. Funny book.

One of my favorite quotes from the book is " treat them like dirt (men) , don't give them any and they will follow you around like dogs."

4 comments posted: Thursday, April 16th, 2015

Anger

Any good books on dealing with anger?

6 comments posted: Saturday, March 14th, 2015

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