Newest Member: applepie123


Me FBS early 40s
Him XWS mid40s (lovemywife4ever), D
He cheated before M, forgot to tell me
Free and loving life

So after a few years…

Guy is moving in with us. We live close and have essentially been sharing homes for quite some time. I had wanted to take it super slow and have done so. I also still don’t want to get married. I don’t think that part will change. That part is broken. He’s still patient about that and does not pressure me. I’m excited and scared to death. Is that even normal? I second guess everything now after the crap I went through. I am ready for living together, he’s a good man. It’s right and relaxing. I am just unsure if I know what I’m doing in life.

8 comments posted: Sunday, November 28th, 2021


I turned 45 this year and immediately got the letter about colon cancer screening. I am opting to do the Cologuard as we have no family history of colon cancer and my doctor said it’s a good starting point for me for now. Has anybody had any experience with this or suggestions… Good or bad? I just want to do the right thing. I don’t want to miss something so does this do a fairly good job?

9 comments posted: Thursday, November 4th, 2021


I know it has been discussed here before about strange occurrences, but who has outright seen a ghost? I am watching a show and scaring the you know what out of myself. Guy friend said ask who has seen one? So here I am.

I am fairly certain I saw one as a teenager. I have tried to make myself believe that I was just tired, definitely was not dreaming because I had not been asleep yet, and I can still describe it to this day. Blonde, man in a tuxedo, dark holes for eyes, upstairs at my parent’s old farmhouse. I was 15 or so. My older siblings all said they felt eerie up there. I was the youngest and really the only one that was probably ever consistently alone up there because they were all older and gone.

12 comments posted: Friday, July 30th, 2021

When selfish speaks

Due to the impending death of the ex-MIL and the fact she wants to speak to me, I was thinking back on the selfish nature of not only her, but my ex. I remembered things that make my eyes roll even thinking about. What are some things yours did? Here are mine:

He was never pleased...I made eggs, he said not enough salt. I made steak, it was too overcooked or not just perfect. The list goes on. He NEVER, EVER said thank you or complimented me on a meal. The kids do. New guy does. He did not. He always pointed out "hey, next time, add this or do that" or "it's too....whatever" - always a problem.

He hated my job. He always complained about it. I was gone too much. I worked too hard. Stay home more. Wait, make more money, but don't work more.

He put down every hobby I had. I ran 5k's. He laughed at them. I swam. I was belitted for that.

He did not like the kids doing anything...period. They watched too much TV. They studied too much. They played with a toy he did not like.

Basically, he was never happy and might not have the ability to be so.

Anyhow, I was just typing it out in disbelief that I didn't accidentally put too many onions in his food one more time (he gets heartburn )

[This message edited by deena04 at 8:49 PM, June 20th (Sunday)]

9 comments posted: Sunday, June 20th, 2021

Moral dilemma maybe

I’m not sure who on here would remember, but my ex mother-in-law was very toxic, harassed my kids through their school and falsely accused them of things that we could prove she lied about, etc...

Anyhow, she’s dying. She’s dying a long, horrible death and wants me to see her so she can either make peace or tell me how right she is to be a conniving witch. I have not talked to her in years, she has had no relationship with my children for years, and I AM at peace without her drama. I am not going to speak to her. Her conscience is her own deal. I don’t wish death upon anybody, but I am completely indifferent where she is concerned. The problem is former brothers-in-law, who are typically great, are guilting me that she needs this before her demise. I just don’t feel the need. How would you handle it? I have told them exactly what I typed here. They still will not relent. Ex wants this, too. No way, not happening. I am just trying to figure out what on earth I can say to get the message across. Not to be cold, but her deal is hers alone. I have no time for it. Their stance: I am the immoral one for not allowing her peace after her years of putting me down, putting down my kids, calling my (then) junior in school and telling the admin that she was texting and to take her phone (cell records proved this false, ex MIL even said it was from child's number so it was easy to prove false), buying gifts for some kids and not all of them and proudly giving them out in front of the heartbroken kids that could not figure out why they were excluded, telling my kids that they only matter if they stop talking to me, and writing how awful the kids are (they are wonderful) and leaving it on the table "accidentally" where they would see it, the list goes on! I just can't and don't care. Am I wrong to let it be and she can die with it on her brain, not my problem?

[This message edited by deena04 at 5:31 PM, June 10th (Thursday)]

36 comments posted: Thursday, June 10th, 2021

So I’m a medical mess

So I broke my leg a few months ago. I had fallen over something my kid left in a bad place. My shoulder was injured as well and I thought it would just heal. I don’t know why I didn’t even bring up my shoulder when getting checked out, but I thought it was just sore. However, it has been several months and I cannot take my arm back or up beyond like a 45° angle out or up. I am assuming something is torn? Would they even do anything about that or is this just something I get to deal with? For a former gymnast, I lost my grace somewhere.

6 comments posted: Tuesday, May 18th, 2021


Does anyone know about dream interpretations or put any thought into that? My mom was talking to me in my dreams last night. This was reoccurring as I woke a few times. It’s like the dream picked up where it left off. I can’t remember what we were saying, but it feels important and has been sitting with me hard all day. I can’t ask her: she’s losing an Alzheimer’s battle right now, but was clear and “her” in these dreams. Why is it bugging me so much?

5 comments posted: Monday, April 19th, 2021

vent and it's not pretty

So one of my older kids has a big problem with leaving things in spots they should not be left in. I have preached that I am not the maid. He has ADHD, but does try. I've picked up after people for a quarter a century now. As they age, they learn to do it better. He has not learned this skill well even though he knows it. That is partially the ADHD and some teen brain "don't get it, don't care, etc....". Anyhow, today he leaves something in a very bad, darkly lit spot. I fall over it and fracture my leg and have a concussion. I am pissed! It should not take damn near killing your motherfucking mother to get the point across! I think he gets it now. Sorry, not looking for advice. Just pissed! Really, really pissed!

[This message edited by deena04 at 4:41 PM, February 24th (Wednesday)]

18 comments posted: Wednesday, February 24th, 2021


I’m in the Midwest and we had a two week freeze, but we are used to that unfortunately. I worry about any Texas friends. I hope you are doing as ok as you can and hope for improvements fast.

10 comments posted: Saturday, February 20th, 2021

Post-hysterectomy orgasm

I’ll just cut right to the chase here. So I had my hysterectomy about eight weeks ago and am just getting back in the swing of things with guy friend. I notice the big one is more easily attained now. It’s different, but better! It’s Saturday night, freezing cold here, and I just felt like asking if anybody else has ever experienced this or if I’m weird?

3 comments posted: Saturday, February 13th, 2021

Blizzard 2021

Iowa Blizzard 2021 occurring now and it's HORSESHIT......please excuse my language.

25 comments posted: Thursday, February 4th, 2021

I am now "that person"

The person who goes so slow in her relationship that I get questioned by friends "what's wrong with him, he seems perfect"....yeah, he pretty much is a gem, but I don't want to rush or even speedwalk. I'm still with the same gentleman that is friends with my brother that I've known since I was old enough to ride a bicycle. He's still calm, wonderful, leaves his phone not locked and randomly wherever it drops, his computer is open, and he's great with my kids. Ex is still ex

Is something wrong with me that I don't feel the need to move forward quicker than we are moving? Guy says my pace is fine, he gets it. No pressure, just us being us. We are together basically every night. He keeps his place, but I think only his adult child has slept there since.....I don't know when. He said he will sell when I say I am keeping him. Until that day, we chug along. Why am I terrified to actually take a bigger leap?

[This message edited by deena04 at 6:23 PM, February 3rd (Wednesday)]

18 comments posted: Wednesday, February 3rd, 2021

Hysterectomy and sex question

So after having some bleeding, polyps removed before and now bleeding again due to more of them, I am having the goods removed. I am keeping my ovaries. Doc said that helps with natural menopause when that hits. My question is likely silly, but will sex be weird after this is done? I have no idea what to expect. One sibling told me she wished she never had it done due to worse hot flashes, but she is over a decade older than me. I think she was going to have those anyhow. Others have told me that it was the best decision for them. Help? I am panicking and unsure if this is the right thing. I don't want the organ to kill me, so it's coming out, but pros/cons? I'm scheduled for later this week, but just now panicking.

Also, any advice for me is appreciated. I was told to rest up because the exhaustion is the worst. I was also told that this is really the best thing to happen and I will be glad. I am just nervous. It's! I am done with the babymaker, but it's still a big change. Will I enjoy sex ever again? Will it be weird? Will It feel different? I know it's silly, but I am wondering.

[This message edited by deena04 at 8:26 PM, December 14th (Monday)]

26 comments posted: Monday, December 14th, 2020

The love question

So I am still seeing the wonderful guy that I have been with for well over a year now. Due to the experiences I had with the ex, I’m taking things slowly. We live close, but not in the same house. We spend a great deal of time together and get along great with each other and the kids. He really is a calm, wonderful gem. How do I know if I’m going too slow? He says he loves me and completely understands what I have been through as he went through the same thing with his ex several years earlier. However, I still have earth shattering fears of what if this...what if that...! Like I said, I am going slow and really paying attention to what I see and hear, which all line up wonderfully. Is it that I just might not be that person to ever go further again? Is it OK to go a lot slower and be cynical? I do not want to ruin a good thing down the road if he gets tired of waiting, but he insists that he is OK and he thinks that we are doing well. I do, too. I just don’t want to blow it. I feel so much better and at ease with him. I’m just nervous about my own ability to pick one.

11 comments posted: Sunday, April 12th, 2020

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