Newest Member: 10yearson



The AP’s H called me about 2 weeks ago. Filled in a lot of the blanks. Their D is much more financially complicated. He asked if his P.I. Could contact me. She did. Asked if I’d be willing to come to their hearing. Explained I personally have no concrete evidence of the at least 1 1/2 yearlong A.

I want to be helpful but have no idea what I can contribute.

Has anyone else ever been in court to talk about their spouse’s affair?

5 comments posted: Saturday, January 16th, 2021

Does NC mean NC with everyone involved?

I've been contemplating writing a letter to AP's family friends (married couple) who enabled affair. Along the lines of a victim impact statement including how this has impacted my son whom they claim to care for. Also a letter to AP's parents who thought my stbx was in the process of divorce when the affair took place. He wasn't and I feel they need to know the truth.

I am spending time composing these things in my head and if I get it out, I'll have some peace. I don't want to be thinking a year from now, "I should've said this to them."

I've been good at remaining NC to STBX and AP.


4 comments posted: Friday, January 15th, 2021

Filing taxes

Any advice on how to file taxes if you separated during the year? I always completed the tax forms for many years. I will not have access to his W2s. I am in our marital home. Since I'm living in it, can I get the tax credit for mortgage interest? I'm also primary caregiver of our child. Do I get the child credit? Our divorce isn't final so do I complete the paperwork as married filing separately? Should I just get someone else to do it even though our tax forms have always been quite straightforward?

10 comments posted: Monday, December 21st, 2020

Dismissing the settlement agreement

Anyone have ANY experience with this?

STBX and I wrote up our own settlement agreement and filed it. At the time I was under severe emotional distress since it was his 2nd affair, COVID, anxiety attacks and I just wanted him out. He said he wouldn't sign it unless it stated what he wanted.

We have not had any hearings with a judge yet. I have since come to my senses and hired an attorney. Attorney filed to have settlement agreement dismissed. He says it is one-sided plus STBX in the interim has gotten his old job back and child support payment is way too low based on his current income.

STBX now has an attorney too. His attorney filed to have original settlement agreement approved by judge.

Do I have a chance??? Feeling like an idiot for what I originally agreed to as well as if he wins, he screwed me over again. Ugh!

10 comments posted: Wednesday, December 9th, 2020

Are you a child of a parent that cheated?

Curious to see how a relationship changes once a child knows that infidelity caused their parents' divorce. How did you view your parents as time went on? If your parent then had a long term relationship with their AP, how did you view them?

How did infidelity and subsequent divorce of your parents change your views on marriage and relationships?

It's hard for me to hide my hatred for my stbx and his AP from my teen son. He is old enough to understand what has happened and feels awkward spending his alternate weekends with his Dad and his AP. I understand he needs his Dad in his life but this is painful.

16 comments posted: Wednesday, November 25th, 2020

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