2 comments posted: Wednesday, September 21st, 2022
B/4 U were a BS, did U ever blame BS for A ?
It's unfortunate that many clueless non BS's often the blame the BS for "driving/pushing" the poor WS to cheat.
Now, I will turn the question around and ask my fellow BS's "before you were a BS did you blame the BS for the A ?".
Unfortunately, I did believe the misconception that the BS is to blame for the A.
Edit to add : If you blamed yourself after you caught your WS A or you did the pick me dance then you have to answer yes.
14 comments posted: Sunday, September 18th, 2022
Did you have the "who is this stranger (WS) moments" ?
Just out of curiosity , how many of us had the "who is this stranger (WS) moments" ?
If you did, describe it.
I'm raising my hand.
I had the who was this stranger moments for years.
My ex was the picture of the "Alpha" male. He was what always the most popular man in all his social circles. Extremely outgoing. All his friends considered him a "man's man".
When my ex was exposed as having a A with a man, everyone that knew him was floored.
How about you ?
1 comment posted: Saturday, September 10th, 2022
Did you ever blame yourself for the A ?
Just out of curiosity, did you ever blame yourself for the WS's A ?
Unfortunately, clueless non BS's often wrongly blame the BS for the A.
For me personally, I never blamed myself because my ex's A was with another man.
So, I never blamed myself .
I was in a horrible state of shock that my ex is bisexual.
Had my ex had an A with a woman, I would've probably blamed myself in the beginning .
30 comments posted: Thursday, August 11th, 2022
How many "friends" or people did you lose as a result of the A ?
How many "friends " or people that you lost or went NC with as a direct result of the A ?
I lost a ton of friends. Over thirty maybe.
I found out because my ex left a chat window open where my ex and OM had cyber sex . They also reminiscing about their years long sexual escapade so I had 80% of a rough time line and a lot details
The ex and OM were co workers. The ex was OM's direct supervisor.
I took revenge by getting the OM and ex fired from their jobs.
I took revenge by telling people the exact details of OM and ex A when the gossip of the A was raging like wild fire.
Prior to the A coming out, I was a big church goer and had many church friends.
After the A came out and it came out the I got my ex and OM fired, I stopped going to church and lost all of my church friends.
I lost a ton of work friends and friends who are not from work.
So, my social circle got a lot smaller when the A came out.
DDay was June 2014.
So, I made plenty of new friends since losing my old friends after the A came out.
How about you ?
14 comments posted: Tuesday, July 19th, 2022
How would you rate your WS's acting ability during A ?
On a scale of 0 through 10 with 10 being the best actor/actress , how would you rate your WS's acting ability during A ?
My ex got a solid ten.
Oscar worthy performance.
8 comments posted: Thursday, June 30th, 2022
can you add one of these question marks to my thread
5 comments posted: Thursday, June 9th, 2022
Rate how much you were blamed by others for the A ?
It's been about a month since my latest poll, so I will do another one.
I like doing polls and people like answering them .
Rate in % how much blame you personally experienced from common misconceptions of A's ?
Here are the common misconceptions.
Before the A
The BS must have done SOMETHING to make the WS consider cheating.
That something may be
1) Not enough sex
2) A nag
5)ETC to infinity.
During the A
How can the BS not know that the A is going on ?
How can the BS not spot the signs of an A?
How can the BS not know that they are being lied to ?
The BS is dumb for staying with the WS.
The BS is vindictive and unforgiving if they divorce.
It is the BS fault when the BS can't "get over it" within a month or less.
I'll start , of these common misconceptions , I've experience 100% from various people in my life.
0 comment posted: Thursday, June 9th, 2022
Kindly please cancel my upgrade.
I tried to cancel the upgrade myself but I couldn't find my subscription ID.
I probably deleted it.
2 comments posted: Wednesday, May 18th, 2022
Rate how disturbing your revenge fantasies are/ were ?
Many BS's have revenge fantasies.
In this thread, let's rate from 0 through 10, with 10 being the most disturbing, how disturbing your revenge fantasies are/were ?
For me personally, easily a 10.
Even as a woman who considers herself healed years later, I'm still disturbed by my revenge fantasies.
I thank God, I never acted on them.
52 comments posted: Wednesday, May 18th, 2022
What are the reasons why you didn't know about A?
Unfortunately , many clueless non BS's think that if their spouse was cheating, they would know.
So, the poor BS is blamed because the BS should have known about the A.
So in this thread, let's answer why you didn't know about the WS's A.
To start , my ex was the last person I would believe is bisexual. ( my ex had a same sex A)
I trusted my ex and would never believe in a million years that he would cheat.
I wasn't keen to the red flags that my ex was cheating.
29 comments posted: Saturday, April 30th, 2022
Can you change the title of this thread https://www.survivinginfidelity.com/topics/656454/how-can-the-bs-not-know-about-a-/ to "What are the reasons why you didn't know about A ?"
2 comments posted: Friday, April 29th, 2022
Share about your gossiping horror stories
In this thread, let's share about our experiences with gossiping people.
For me it's a long story please follow along intently.
First, I will share about my own participation in the vicious gossip about someone else's A prior to me becoming a BS myself. Of course, I horribly ashamed of this.
I was very sheltered person growing up. I was lucky enough to not have known anyone who was cheated on. So, I was as a clueless non BS as they came. I was lucky enough not to know of someone's else A until I was in my early 20's.
I was working for a large company then when I first had any encounter with someone else's A.
The BW , WH and OW all worked for the same company.
When the A came out , the BW wife slapped the WH at work.
The cops were called and took the BW to jail.
Then, the gossip at work exploded.
Everyone wanted to the juiciest details and I was one of those people. Sadly.
Now, I share about my own experiences with being the center of what people were gossiping about when my ex H's A came out.
Here are the details I will have to share so you guys can understand my story more.
My ex H had a same sex A with a coworker OM. My ex H was OM's direct supervisor. My ex H and OM worked for a big company at the time.
My ex H was the last person on earth anyone would suspect as being bisexual.
My ex H was Mr. Popular and a "man's man". A true " Alpha male" in all his social circles.
I found out about the A in June 2014 because ex H and OM were having a chat on MSN messenger. OM and my ex reminisced about the A on the chat. Then, they ended up having cyber sex.
So, from the chat I was able to get approximate timelines and details about 80% of the A that went on for years.
So, when I found out about the A, I outed my ex H and OM to their supervisors and I got them both fired.
So of course the gossip exploded. Everyone wanted the juiciest details.
My immediate reaction was to tell everyone all the juicy details that I knew to get revenge on my ex H for cheating on me.
For the first two weeks after D-Day , I foolishly sang like a canary.
Gossip about the ex H affair with OM ravaged like wildfire and I , sadly, was fanning the flames with all the correct details.
After the first two weeks of leaking the details of the A, I finally came to my senses and kept my mouth shut about the A.
By that time, it was too late.
Everyone who ever wanted to know about the A heard directly from the source herself, me.
To this day, I'm super embarassed that everyone knows all the details of the A courtesy of me.
6 comments posted: Sunday, April 3rd, 2022
How would you react to a BS's pain before you became a BS yourself ?
Here is my question to you all.
Before you became a BS yourself, how would you rate yourself as a friend to a hurting BS on a scale of 0 to 10 ? (with 10 being the greatest friend possible )
To answer my own question, I would give myself a zero .
Before I became a BS, I believed that getting over an A for a BS would be easy and would take around a month.
I would have told the BS to "get over it " .
I would cut the BS out of my life if the BS is still whining about the A after two months.
I thank my lucky stars that when I was a non BS I never had to be a friend to a hurting BS because I would've regretted my actions forever when I became a BS myself.
10 comments posted: Friday, March 18th, 2022
Mod please minor glitch to report
I'm a furthest thing from a computer expert possible so I don't how big or small this problem is. I just figured MH needs to know about this.
Now, I will go into the problem.
I live in pacific standard time zone. I noticed the time I logged in was 9 pm last night .
Last night I logged into SI account using my computer.
I hovered my mouse over the "forums" icon and the list all the available forums came up. The options that came up for me started from "main page through the book club". The option for "fun and games" forum was missing
I had logged in to specifically check the fun and games forum and I freaked out when I didn't see the "fun and games" forum.
I freaked out and thought that I was banned from the "fun and games" forum. I nervously checked to see if I had gotten a PM from the mods banning me from the "fun and games " forum. I didn't get a PM from the mods notifying me that I was banned from the "fun and games" forum.
Then I checked on my phone. I was not logged into SI my account on my phone. The "fun and games " option was not available either even when I wasn't logged into my SI account.
I thought about making a thread in "off topic" asking others if they had a problem getting in the "fun and games" forum but I was tired and didn't think it was that important.
I have a platinum account so I went into my recent post to see if I could access my "fun and games" post through my recent post. My fun and games post showed up on my recent post. When I clicked on my fun and games post through my recent post, I could get into my fun and games post.
Then, I logged out of my SI account on my computer and did other stuff on the computer.
At 910 pm , I logged back into SI and I hovered my mouse on the "forum" icon and I saw the avaiable options were from "main page all the way through to fun and games".
So, the problem seemed to have fixed itself.
3 comments posted: Sunday, March 13th, 2022
Make a word from a the last letter of previous word
113 comments posted: Thursday, March 3rd, 2022
Share about your WS's affair enablers !
Who were they ?
How did they enable your WS's A ?
For me personally, my X did not tell anyone.
So, I have no one to induct into the hall of shame of enablers.
22 comments posted: Sunday, February 27th, 2022
Mod please members are having problems with site.
If I can draw your attention to the off topic page,
Dragnheart is having all kinds of problems posting and replying to messages.
I managed to PM her and she told me that for a while she couldn't post and then she could post and then she cant post again.
Can a mod please pass along to MH ?
I got Dragnheart permission to share the contents of PM with you guys.
13 comments posted: Thursday, February 24th, 2022
count upward by editing your post
count upward by editing your post.
Post # 1 )
Post # 2 )
Post # 3)
Etc to infinity.
7 comments posted: Thursday, February 24th, 2022
2 comments posted: Monday, February 21st, 2022
I'm Dorothy123 update
To update I have to go into my story first.
I was boyfriend and girlfriend with my ex for ten years before my ex and I married.
I had no idea that my ex was a closeted bisexual.
My ex had a years long A with a single OM . The OM and ex were coworkers.
The ex and I got M'd Jan 2014 . My ex and I got M'd during his A with OM.
DDay was June 2014.
I D ex Jan 2015.
One month after DDay people in my life were telling me to "get over it".
I didn't managed to "get over it" . I took the A so badly that I thought I was going crazy.
I found SI May of 2016. So, nearly two years after DDay.
After I found SI , I started many poll threads to prove to myself that what I was going through was normal.
I went out of my way to help as many other BS's as I could when I was an active and prolific poster.
In helping out many other BS's I learned a ton about myself.
After helping many BS's here I learned that "assholes are a dime a whole dozen".
I also learned A's are sadly epidemic.
So, I accepted what happened to me as life.
I've forgiven my ex.
I've moved on.
For the past few years, I have been dating casually. Nothing serious.
Haven't found the one yet.
One day, I hope to get M again to someone deserving.
3 comments posted: Saturday, February 5th, 2022
What % of A's are fair /unfair for the BS ?
It's been many moons since I started a poll.
So, let's start one.
Out of 100% what percentages of A's are fair and unfair to BS ?
( to get current, I'm OK. the last two years have been wild for me because of Covid like everyone else; I'm sure. thankfully no one in my family has died from it.)
15 comments posted: Saturday, February 5th, 2022
Make a word from the last letter of previous word
Very simple rules.
Make one word from the last letter of the word someone else made above .
This is a group game. You are not allowed to play solo
I just played solo for the first seven words to show everyone how's it done.
If there is a mistake for whatever reason, we just flow with the mistake and move on.
[This message edited by Dorothy123 at 3:38 PM, November 13th (Wednesday)]
328 comments posted: Wednesday, November 13th, 2019
Post GI.Fs of your favorite childhood nostalgic memories
Rules : Follow all F&G forum rules.
Also use common sense and not post anything that others may find offensive and make sure all your pictures are safe for work.
Otherwise have fun.
Post pictures of anything in your child hood that brings back happy nostalgic memories.
1) Favorite toys
2) TV shows
6) ETC. ETC.
45 comments posted: Wednesday, August 29th, 2018
What's your smart battery's % of charge right now ?
Log your phone , laptop or tablet battery's % of charge whenever you want to .
I'm at 93% now on my phone.
[This message edited by Dorothy123 at 8:33 PM, July 24th (Tuesday)]
35 comments posted: Tuesday, July 24th, 2018
Wish SI a happy B-day by posting pictures.
Wish SI a happy birthday by
1) Giving thanks
2) Post pictures of cakes, gifts, party favors, food etc.
Thank you SI for all the lives you've have touched.
11 comments posted: Sunday, June 10th, 2018
Count from 1 through 10 . Again & Again
Rules count from 1 through 10.
13 comments posted: Wednesday, May 24th, 2017
Bump this thread for WhatEver reason you like!
Bump thread and give a reason.
1) Because it's Monday
2) Because it's cold
3)Because I just want to.
888 comments posted: Monday, January 2nd, 2017
Shoot fireworks to welcome 2017!!!!!!!!!
3 comments posted: Friday, December 30th, 2016
Make words from A through Z.
Make words from A through Z.
When we get to Z, we go right back to A.
348 comments posted: Saturday, November 19th, 2016
Let's count to 1000!!!!!!!!
Let's count to 1000!!!!!
Let's see how pages it will take us to count to ONE THOUSAND.
25 comments posted: Saturday, November 12th, 2016
What's your phone's % of charge right now?
My phone is at 90%
How about you?
54 comments posted: Monday, October 24th, 2016