Newest Member: Definedbygrace



“The Fog”

I’ve seen this term bandied about on SI quite a bit. There doesn’t seem to be a consensus on what "The Fog" actually is.

I’m wondering if others could share what they think "The Fog" actually is.

27 comments posted: Thursday, April 21st, 2022


Has anyone heard from her? She hasn’t been on in quite some time and I just hope she is ok.

3 comments posted: Thursday, February 17th, 2022

What’s your criteria

Just curious to hear others on the subject of FB friends.

What’s your criteria on who stays and who goes from your list? I’m more interested about the friends who were really close to you at one time but now no longer really "speak". There’s a couple of folks on my friends list who I’m thinking of unfriending. There was one in particular who I was really tight with when we were younger but have grown apart. In fact I haven’t physically seen or spoken to him in 10 years although I will get a random post from him once in a blue moon.

I suppose I already know the answer but for some reason I feel it would be disloyal. Dumb I know but that’s where I’m at.

3 comments posted: Thursday, January 27th, 2022

Mod please


1 comment posted: Thursday, December 30th, 2021

Ohforanewme - 2 Years Later

It’s been two years since he left us and my heart still hurts. I’m a little late with this post but I needed to do this

I never had the pleasure of meeting him in real life. But he was my friend nonetheless and made a lasting impact of me. I suspect I’m not alone in that regard.

I hope he is at peace. I miss you dear friend.

9 comments posted: Thursday, November 11th, 2021

Renewing Vows

My wife and I are talking about renewing our vows. I’m wondering, does the ceremony need to coincide with the original wedding date or can it be any time you choose?

11 comments posted: Thursday, October 21st, 2021

Mod please


1 comment posted: Tuesday, August 3rd, 2021

Ever run into the AP?

I had something happen to me recently and was wondering if anyone else had a similar experience and what their reaction was.

I was on Facebook recently and this guy pops up as a friend suggestion. He has a name very similar to a celebrity so I start browsing this thread. I don’t know the guy, never met or spoken to him in my life and we have no mutual friends in common. Well he posted a campfire video and I decide to watch it. At the end of this video, the camera turns left and who should be sitting next to him but my AP!

As I looked/listened and it was a very strange experience. Of course I knew who she was but it felt like I was looking at a stranger. Does that make any sense? She more or less look the same except she gained a lot of weight. But I felt absolutely nothing.

I again was left with WTF echoing in my head. I don't think I will ever figure out what made her so appealing that I would risk losing my marriage .

If something like the above happened to you, what was your reaction?

4 comments posted: Monday, June 14th, 2021

Guitar Amps

I’m thinking of purchasing a Boss Katana 50 or 100 amp. Does anyone own one and if so, how did you like it? It’s strictly for home use and mainly for practicing. I’ve been using an entry level Fender Mustang amp for years and want to treat myself to an upgrade.

If you haven’t owned the above, are there any other models you’d recommend?

6 comments posted: Friday, March 5th, 2021


On this Thanksgiving day, I thought it appropriate to start a thread with things I’m thankful for. In no particular order:

I’m thankful for my wife, my love.

I’m thankful for my child.

I’m thankful for my family.

I’m thankful for still being employed when so many are not.

I’m thankful for a roof over my head, food in my belly, clothes on my back.

I’m thankful for my friends.

I’m thankful for the very unexpected gift one friend gave me. Totally changed a bad day to a good one.

I’m thankful to be out of infidelity.

Would love to hear what others are thankful for.

3 comments posted: Thursday, November 26th, 2020

Insight on detaching

Perhaps detaching isn’t the right word, but it’s the best I can come up with right now

One of my “whys” is my inability to accept some things for how they are. Wanting more from people when they either can’t or won’t reciprocate what I put into the relationship. As an example, my sibling is the last family member I have alive (aside from my wife and son of course). I try and maintain contact with them but there is little interest on their part. We will talk and I’ll find out about some big event in their life. I’ll ask them to keep me updated and nothing. I’ll poke them from time to time and I may get a one word response but that’s it.

To clarify, they’ve been this way most of their life. Their friends typically always came before the family. To be fair, if I was ever in dire straits, I know I could call them and they would be there. I had always hoped that the behavior would change but it doesn’t look like it ever will.

My question is, how does one accept that this is how it is and move on? I know this is how my sibling is yet it still gets me tied up in knots. Aside from the emotional turmoil it causes me, I’ll go to the extreme and completely detach from the relationship. I’ll go NC and when they finally reach out, I will be emotionally disconnected for a time. I’ll open back up and the whole cycle repeats itself.

15 comments posted: Saturday, June 13th, 2020

The empty chair

I was watching a movie the other night with my family. The story was a typical guy meets girl, they both fall for one another, they have a falling out and eventually reconcile and live happily ever after. Nothing special about this movie as I’ve seen dozens of others with the same storyline for years. Never fazed me before in any meaningful way until now.

The part that really struck a chord involved an empty chair. After the falling out, the guy returns home and is having dinner across from an empty chair. A chair that was once occupied by his SO. A chair that may very well stay empty forever. The scene was so poignant for me that it almost brought me to tears. As simple a scene as it was, it shined a light on what I risked because of my actions. The very thought of my wife’s chair being vacant forever horrifies me.

For those WS who are struggling or missing the AP, imagine what an empty chair would feel like. Try and embrace how that would feel if your BS were to never occupy that place in your life any longer. For me, it was one of the most sobering experiences I’ve had through this whole shit show.

[This message edited by ff4152 at 8:41 PM, October 14th (Wednesday)]

23 comments posted: Friday, June 1st, 2018

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