Newest Member: Jokeisonme


Triggers and can’t even enjoy reading anymore.

I used to enjoy reading silly Romances today for the first time since D-day I read one again and ended up crying thinking about my husband with his AP. I just want to enjoy things again.

10 comments posted: Sunday, January 30th, 2022

I need to get this out because I can’t share these feelings with WH

today I’m feeling so defeated, but I’m only allowed to feel fine and be reassuring when WH husband has stress. If I get obsessive as he calls it over talking about any aspect of the unpleasant event I’m told he’s going to be staying at work longer or he’s going to bed and he can’t take thinking things are fine and having the rug pulled. Today I was told to knock off being clingy and be fun, then I was told I must spend a half hour doing something more refined like studying history, I said okay I enjoyed the class I took in it, his response that class was just to make you spend money and feel good it means nothings it’s the McDonald’s of history classes.

I have 3 kids 2 are special needs he works away from home weeks at a time so he makes sure to make time for his chess drinking his tea and learning Russian I’m lucky to have time to spend In the shower. I’m told a big part of the reason for the affair is I’m not supportive or attentive enough, I don’t appreciate him enough and all he does.

He doesn’t want to hear if my days are hard he wants me to put on a happy face. All that said I’m lucky to have a very supportive family who helps me lots and wonderful children I adore! I love my husband but he just does not get it at all.

14 comments posted: Monday, January 24th, 2022

I’m still feeling so sad every night

My husband works far from home weeks at a time, d-day was Dec 22 some trickle truth since AP has contacted him twice he’s showed me and ignored her. Anyway he works from 5am till 6 pm eats dinner and really is too tired for phone time l. He talks to me during the day and we text lots but at night when he says, he’s too tired I feel scared afraid and alone. AP was a co-worker now working at a diff location but no doubt she get bk close to him if a spot opens.
He says if she came bk he would walk out on the spot and come home.

I believe he no longer talks to her she became clingy and a lot more than he was bargaining for but I keep fearing what if there is someone else and he’s talking to them? The other day he admitted to more physical stuff when I pushed him if I should get an HPV shot he said he touched her bum cheek under her clothe which I don’t believe who sticks there hands down someone’s pants and touches a bum cheek? I just feel like what if he keeps more from me.

Sorry for the rant

5 comments posted: Saturday, January 22nd, 2022

I want to hold onto his leg and sob pls don’t hurt me again

First I want to apologize for posting so much I keep going through new things and I have no one to talk to about it.

My WH has been at work since Dec 1 won’t return till Feb and DD was late/mid December. He works 12 hour days and the last cpl days he’s been tired so we don’t talk a lot after and I just feel like panicking. Outwardly he seems to be keeping his word but I’m so scared to be blindsided and hurt again, that him being too tired to talk sometimes almost breaks me. I can’t tell him these things I just hold them in but I feel so scared to be hurt again. I’m starting to feel such sadness and fear and that I’m just ugly.

How do I put my mind at ease.

3 comments posted: Friday, January 14th, 2022

He’s feeling better I’m feeling worse

This may sound crazy but my husbands sadness, fear, shame and self loathing infact him being physically Ill on dd and for a cpl weeks after kept me feeling safe like comforting him being his heroine would make him greatful forever. Now he’s doing better is seeking help and I feel horrible. Him feeling okay scares me, makes me feel like he could forget all the pain he felt and caused.

12 comments posted: Wednesday, January 12th, 2022

Can people with borderline personality disorder become safe spouses?

My wh thinks he may be bipolar to me fits much better as BPD. He cheated first after the death of a family member 5 years ago he also admitted randomly to buying a cam show at some point he couldn’t go through with, he texted an ex female coworker she looked good in a skirt he tried to just basically say hi to her a few times she was to busy uninterested in talking. Now after weeks of red flags I saw coming from OW even before anything happened and him feeling sick and unwell and very defensive for a cpl weeks he admitted to having an EA and a PA no sex or anything under the clothe with ow. He feels he has Bipolar and is seeking help I feel he has BPD becuase he really is never manic.

8 comments posted: Tuesday, January 11th, 2022

Having massive anxiety

I had thought my WH had said she used a fake number the whole time so I used peoplebyname search to check a number that showed up a lot on our phone bill I wanted info on her incase she got vindictive. Anyway the search showed totally wrong info some real estate agent so I emailed them and said it was wrong they said they refund my credit. Anyway I asked my husband later and he showed me it was the phone everyone used at work so legit. Now I’m terrified this company is going to call his work and say someone was looking them up and since he’s acting in charge right now they blame him and everyone know who did it. Do these companies do that? This whole affair thing has made me a basket case.

6 comments posted: Monday, January 10th, 2022

Best and most legit way to check up on numbers on cell bill.

1 comment posted: Sunday, January 9th, 2022

5 years almost to the day it’s happened again

I’m sitting in the bath sobbing to Sam Smith when he says " about not being enough" it breaks me. This time is was an emotional affair with a coworker he spends 12 hours a day with when he’s out of town for weeks at a time.

I knew I just knew. I finally trapped him and he said he broke it off with her that he hates himself what he’s become that he thinks he has bi-polar I find myself with 3 kids trying to support be and forgive him but I just broke down to this song.I’ll stay strong for all of them but for a few mins in this bath I need to cry.

17 comments posted: Friday, December 24th, 2021

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