Newest Member: loyaltylost


Survived two affairs and brink of Divorce. Happily reconciled.

Having a rough time

My SI peeps. Looking and desperately seeking your wisdom.

So we have been happily reconciled for almost 8 years. My H has not given me any cause for concern.

I struggle with people lying to me. Not the little lies like Eddie Haskell “gee your hair looks lovely today Mrs Cleaver” but serious lies.

Here’s the issue. I’ve been a member of a church for 25 years. Active member. It’s a church where members get a vote on certain things like hiring a new minister or having changes made to our by-laws etc.

We have a very manipulative senior pastor who recently pulled some shenanigans that has divided our church. Accused church members of being biased (not true) and recently chastised the congregation for not voting for something the senior pastor wanted. When it came out how the senior pastor manipulated the situation people were outraged. You get the picture. Typical church politics so to speak.

For some reason this has really affected me. It shouldn’t b/c the senior pastor has done me wrong 3x.

But the lying has really impacted me. And I think it’s due to my H’s affair from years ago. He lied and cheated and traumatized me with his plans to D me. While I have recovered I am impacted heavily in situations where people just lie to my face. Not random people but people that are important to me or should be better than that. And yes I hold clergy as people who should be better than that.

These past few days in particular I want to reach out snd just smack my H. Because I know he’s not been 100% honest about his cheating— most cheaters aren’t. And right now it just irks me to no end.

And sadly it’s Holy Week and I just cannot to go church and listen to a sermon from someone who is a liar and cheater but pretends to be homier then thou. The hypocrisy is just too much to swallow.

Thank you for sticking with this long drawn out saga. Give me any advice or suggestions to get past this. And yes I am looking for a different “church”. I’ve already been listening to some podcasts and attending on-line services at a different church.

34 comments posted: Saturday, April 3rd, 2021

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