Newest Member: Roselyn

The1stWife

Survived two affairs and brink of Divorce. Happily reconciled.

Getting an “I don’t care” attitude

Really struggling with this. Could use some advice from this trusted group.

As I’ve mentioned I recently left my church after 25 years due to the behavior of the Senior Pastor. I should mention she’s done some mean things to me in the past, but I just ignored it. This last incident was the last straw and she lied in her email. I had the hard evidence to show she lied and I decided I was done with her "mean girl" persona.

When I left and resigned all my leadership roles, I made sure that people knew why. My words were that I was done battling with the pastor. I tried my hardest to avoid these battles but she continued to be impossible to work with.

Note: big decline last 5 years in church membership and most of my peer group have left as well. All due to the Senior Pastor.

I keep hearing (from my church connections) what people are saying about me. Comments like "I need to get over it", "I need to return to the church", "I should be participating in church events" etc.

I don’t know why these comments bother me and/or upset me but they do. They are being said by people who were not my good friends - just people I interacted with over the years whom I was friendly with.

My H hates ti see me bothered by all this. I don’t have as thick a skin as I should.

But I would like to develop one. But how?

I need to stop dwelling on this. I need to put this in the past. I know the senior pastor has spread lies about me to save face as that is her MO. I know I cannot defend myself but it irks me nonetheless.

Willing to listen and try any and all suggestions.

PS I already found a new church I am happy with.

21 comments posted: Friday, June 17th, 2022

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