Me: BS, 49 Him: WS, 52
Married 26 yrs; DDay 7/4/17
LTA, Divorced 5/8/19
A Setback - Help!
I need advice on how to get through my current situation. Long story short...I am 2.5 years past DD and 6 months past actual divorce. My ex lives with his AP and their 2.5 year old. About a year after my separation from my exWH, I started dating a guy that I had been friends with for years. I was very skeptical about this relationship because I didn't see him as more than a friend. He treated me amazing and gave me back so much of what I lost on DD. He is a very sweet and caring man and we became really close for almost a year. During that time, my divorce became final and we started talking about a future together. Out of the blue, at the end August he started to become depressed. His work was overwhelming and he was dealing with issues from his own divorce. We started to argue a little and decided we needed to take a step back so we could both work on ourselves. We have stayed in touch but not on a daily basis. Last Sunday, I came across a picture on social media of him with some friends of ours and he was with a new girl. I am devastated. I always thought we would spend some time apart and be ready to try again. This is not going to happen.
My belief that I will have a future with someone is shattered. I moved so slow in this relationship and tried to make sure it was right before I would allow myself to have any feelings and it still ended bad. I feel almost as blindsided as I did on dd. I don't know how to move on from here. I am paralyzed with the fear that I will end up alone forever.
The crazy part is I have way stronger feelings for him now that he is gone than I did when we were together. He was way more in to me than I was into him for the whole year we were together. I totally took him for granted and now I miss him like crazy. I know there is a lesson in here somewhere! I don't think I ever really dealt with my exWH leaving me so I am going to start counseling next week. Any other advice??
12 comments posted: Sunday, November 10th, 2019