Newest Member: SoBeyondLost17


Me: BW
Him: WH
Married - 30+ years
Two adult daughters
1st affair: 2005-2007
2nd-4th affairs: 2016-2017
Many assessments/polygraph: no sex addiction
Status: R

Anyone get a Covid-19 booster shot yet?

H got his last Saturday - Moderna. He woke up Saturday in the middle of the night with some serious chills throughout the night. Felt achy and tired on Sunday, enough to take some Advil. Had some minor chills Sunday night during the night again, and slept in on Monday morning. But when he woke up, he felt fine. When he got his second Moderna over six months ago, he had a dull headache for a day or so, and felt tired, but not terribly so.

I'm scheduled to get my Pfizer booster tomorrow evening. The only reaction I had to my first two shots was a sore arm... nothing else.

The first few people I know who got their third shots didn't have any reaction. But I guess now that more and more people are getting #3, I'm hearing about more reactions. It certainly won't keep me from getting it, but I'm just wondering what anyone's reactions here might have been.

43 comments posted: Thursday, November 4th, 2021

In the market for a new locking mailbox

Twice in the last month we've had mail/packages stolen out of our mailbox, which sits at the street curb. So we need to get one that locks. I found someone on Task Rabbit who will do the job for us, but we have to get the mailbox.

I'm online looking at various places like Home Depot, Lowe's, Amazon, and have NO idea what makes a locking mailbox the most secure it can be. Any suggestions?

0 comment posted: Friday, October 22nd, 2021

Names for grandparents

I was talking with a friend last week, and telling her that my daughter and her husband are actively trying to get pregnant. She told me that I should stake out a name now, before the other two grandmothers (SIL's mom and stepmom) claim one so I get what I want.

So there are the obvious ones: grandma and grandpa. But I really don't want to use one of those. What are some names you've either used with your own grandparents, or have your grandchildren use for you?

There are the obvious ones: Mimi, Meemaw, Gigi,; Pops, Pawpaw, Gramps

17 comments posted: Wednesday, October 20th, 2021

Klutz in the kitchen

I've had two encounters with sharp things in my kitchen in the last month. UGH!

About a month ago, I was reaching behind the kitchen sink to open a window, and the side of my wrist said hello to a knife in the dish drying rack. It was a small cut, maybe 1/3". It wasn't too deep. I mentioned it to a couple of people and their reply was, "Don't you know you have to store knives point down?" Yea, no one ever told me that. But now we know. It was sort of awkward, because every time I looked at the cut, it reminded me of what someone's wrist might look like if they had attempted suicide. Thankfully everyone who saw it believed me when I told them what happened.

Then last night... much more serious. We got a new food processor, and I was using it for the first time. Our old food processor only held two cups; this one holds four, so to get stuff out, you really have to stick your hand down in there (I was crumbling gouda cheese; I think it was too soft, and just kept getting stuck in the blade). I was emptying the first batch, stuck my hand in there, some of the cheese was sticking, so I tapped the container on the bowl, and my finger got sliced by the blade. I knew it was bad immediately; so I called H to tell him he needed to come home to take me for stitches. My doc's office was already closed, but I talked to him and he told me where to go. The cut is between the middle knuckle and the knuckle closest to your palm and is vertical. I'd guess it's at least 1". It took seven stitches to close it up. It's completely wrapped up in gauze and adhesive wrap to keep it dry, so typing is hard! Since I couldn't remember when my last tetanus shot was, I had to get one of those, too.

When it happened, it jolted me so much that I panicked; so I took some Xanax, knowing I was about to undergo a medical procedure. After they got done sewing it up, I was still shaken, so I took some more. Let's just say I slept good last night. The anesthetic was still working when I fell asleep, but it was really hurting this morning when I woke up. And I still feel sort of shaken up...I mean, it's only a cut on my finger; not sure what that's about.

So you'd think H would learn from my mistake... after we got home from urgent care, he then had to clean up the kitchen since I had been in the middle of making dinner when it happened. He was washing the food processor, and yep, he cut the end of his finger on the blade. His cut is not as bad as mine, but this morning when he was making his lunch, it started bleeding through his bandage again and he had to change it. He was going to stop at the pharmacy to pick up some liquid bandage.

So yea, we have become klutzes in the kitchen, and it sucks.

4 comments posted: Wednesday, September 29th, 2021

How to keep emergency money from getting damp?

We keep a small amount of cash in a lockbox for emergencies. We get into perhaps 2-3 times a year, when we realize neither one of us has any cash, we don't have time to run to the ATM, and need it now.

However, last summer when we needed some, when we opened the lockbox, the money was damp. So we laid it all out on the kitchen table to dry it out. Then we put in a bag of rice, and some of those silicone gel packs you get in your bottles of prescriptions, hoping between the two, it would absorb any moisture. Yesterday went to get some cash, and it's damp again.

FWIW, we live in a very dry climate. The lockbox is kept in a closet. This has really stumped us. Any suggestions for keeping it dry?

7 comments posted: Tuesday, September 21st, 2021

Anyone watching the Little League World Series?

I'm such a dork when it comes to this annual event (well, annual until last year). We have no personal experience with this sport, other than our kids played Little League a couple of years when they were young, then quit.

But many years ago, my ex sister-in-law's sister's husband coached a team out of Texas, so we followed the tournament (I think they went pretty far). I found it fascinating, and almost every year since, we've followed the tournament.

Over ten years ago, H and I were on our way home from dropping our daughter off at college in PA, on the weekend of the title games. So we decided to take a detour off of I-80 and go to the game. I think it was the hottest day ever in South Williamsport... since we were unprepared, we stopped at a large grocery store, bought a blanket to sit on, some hats, and sunscreen. When we got to the complex to park, it was like going through the airport - we went through screening which forced us to pull out our sunscreen, apply it there, and throw it out (because it was more than 2 oz. of liquid). Also, H had a pocket knife on his keychain. Out it went into the trash (we were too far from the car to walk back and stow them there). But the screening was pretty much a replica of what they do at airports.

When we got inside the park, there was no seating left in the stands, so we were relegated to sit 'on the hill' (if you've ever watched, you know the hill behind the outfield is where all the kids use cardboard boxes to slide down). I remember it being difficult to sit on the steepness of the hill - it's truly hard to appreciate it unless you've been there... TV doesn't do it justice. And as I said, it was friggin' hot. Every inning or inning and a half, I'd go to the restroom, and basically splash water all over my head, face, neck, arms and legs. And there was no shade!

We got to see the U.S. championship game, which was phenomenal. It ended with a walk-off home run. When we got back to our car and got in, we realized we smelled worse than either of us probably ever had, and we had a TEN hour car drive back home, stuck inside this car with each other. We didn't get home until the middle of the night, and as tired as we were, the first thing we did was jump in the shower! The year we were there, there was also a measles outbreak, brought over by a player from Japan!

So that's my story, and since then, we've continued to watch it. I have really mixed emotions about it. I think these kids are phenomenal players who are also incredibly smart at their sport. I find it fascinating that they can have 11 and 12 year olds who range from not even 5' tall, to 6' tall, and weight ranges that rival that difference. I LOVED it seven years ago when Mo'Ne Davis pitched a shut out - the first girl to do so. So many highlights to remember. But then I see what looks like an emotional toll from the pressure on these young kids, and it tugs at my heartstrings. For many of these kids, though, regardless of the outcome, it's a memory they will cherish for the rest of their lives. I do appreciate the slaughter/mercy rules so things don't get too out of control. I prefer to watch games that are close, than routs. So far this year, I haven't heard any stories that tell me to root for any particular team, but a team from Los Angeles County is in it, and I guess it's been the first time a team from LA County has been in it since the 1990s. So maybe I will send my energy to them.

6 comments posted: Thursday, August 19th, 2021

leptospirosis vaccine in dogs

When we lived in the Midwest, we regularly gave our dog the leptospirosis vaccine, and I don't remember any problems. When we moved to CA, because it's not much of an issue here, they told us we really didn't need to get it. Then this week a story on the news made me rethink, and I decided to get his first vaccine today (two boosters required). The news said one veterinarian reported that he has seen maybe a dozen cases a year in the last 20 years; but in the last three weeks, he's seen triple that. So it's officially considered an outbreak here.

So, got the vaccine this afternoon around 4; he's miserable right now. We can tell by how he's walking that his left rear leg is struggling, like he's in pain. He can't settle down - panting a lot, too. We had some leftover (prescribed within the last six months) hydrocodone and carprofen (an anti-inflammatory) in the house, so I decided to give him some hydrocodone. I called our vet's office, but they were already closed for the day. I called the 24/7 emergency clinic and they said dogs can get really sore from a vaccine. He always gets all the recommended vaccines, and he's never had a reaction like this. I decided not to give him the carprofen because it's an anti-inflammatory, I didn't want it to interfere with the vaccine mechanism. Also, when I was at the vet's, I asked them if there was anything I needed to watch out for after the vaccine, and they said sometimes they can get a 'mass' where the vaccine was injected, but when they gave it to him, they rubbed it in really good so it would more easily disburse. But could it cause this much pain?

I just feel so bad for him... not sure what to do. When I tried to touch his rear hip, he turned around really, really fast... so we know it's the hip that's bothering him. You can see it in how he's walking (if you can call it walking). He hasn't been rough-housing today or anything that would cause hip pain.

11 comments posted: Monday, August 16th, 2021

Guests with so many food restrictions!

Let me start by saying, I am what many people would call a picky eater. I get that it's usually my restrictions that limit us in choosing restaurants, etc. The only meat I eat is (most) beef, (most) poultry, and pork. I occasionally will eat fish if I've fixed it the only way I'll eat it. I do eat king crab and shrimp. I do OK with most vegetables, but am not a fan of onions, brussel sprouts, cooked spinach, kale, beets, and probably a few others.

So I was embarrassed when our next-door neighbors invited us over for dinner tomorrow. She proposed lamb chops (nope, I don't do lamb), then salmon. I almost decided to suck it up and just eat the damn salmon, but as I thought about it, I just didn't think I could pull it off, so I was upfront and told her that I didn't eat lamb or fish, which is why we tend to do the inviting of people over, so I can control the food options. This is the first time these neighbors have asked us over - we've had them over before at our house. Anyway, I told her how embarrassed I was about my food likes/dislikes, and she seemed very open to chicken, which will be fine.

So I'm sensitive to those who have dietary restrictions for one reason or another.

However, I don't know what I'm going to do the next time we have both daughters and their husbands for meals. One SIL can't do dairy; oldest D was diagnosed with celiac a year ago, and last weekend, youngest D told us she's basically off of meat, unless she knows the source is known for treating its animals humanely... so no typical grocery store pickings (maybe something from Whole Foods would work). AND... they've had chickens for just over a year now, so they don't do chickens anymore, at all, no matter the source!

Each one of these restrictions, on its own, would be easy to work around. But when you combine them all, it leaves me with very little to work with. For instance, tonight we invited younger D over for dinner (her H was working) and we were having fajitas. But I made a wonderful batch of black beans in my Instant Pot, so she put those on her fajita, while we had meat on ours, and beans on the side. Easy, peasy; but if older D were here, we couldn't do that as she can't have flour tortillas.

We won't all be together again until Christmas, so I have time. I'm not sure if younger D will even eat turkey. Guess I'll have to ask. Older D says Trader Joes makes a wonderful gluten-free stuffing. It's so sad because, we have a Big Green Egg (ceramic smoker), which is great for smoking meats - we usually smoke our turkey and it is outstanding. We also have done other meats on the Egg, but now we have to be careful about where we buy them, if we're going to have younger D over.

So I'm complaining about my immediate family's food options, while at the same time, I just told my next-door neighbor that the first two things they offered to serve us, I don't eat.

I need some guidance on how others have handled multiple, different food limitations of their guests. FWIW... H eats anything and everything.

12 comments posted: Sunday, August 8th, 2021

Father's Day - yay or nay?

I hate these Hallmark holidays. It feels like everyone I know posts over-the-top diatribes about how wonderful their fathers were. I almost started a thread dissing Father's Day, but thought that wouldn't be fair to all the fathers out there who are decent, hard-working fellas, who were involved in their kids' lives. But reading about them on Facebook, or wherever, it hurts.

So this is a thread for those who want to lament the absence of a meaningful relationship with their dads, or those who want to affirm dads in their lives (could be their own, or their partner, who is a good dad to their kids).

Me? I hate to say it, but I don't know if I've ever really missed my dad since he died in 2001. He was a good provider, and had a better relationship with my much older brothers, than me. He wasn't interested in co-parenting me (told me so once when I was in my 30s and he thought I was being rude to him) because he didn't agree with my mom on how she should raise me. Yea, it stings. He thought I should be treated the same as my older brothers, which I probably should have, but he shouldn't have dismissed me just for that reason. He shamed me in really implicit ways and was not the kind of parent (well, neither was my mom) I could go to if in trouble, and I was once... serious trouble. If I'd gone to him, he would have disowned me.

So I fall into the camp of "Father's Day - Nay".

14 comments posted: Sunday, June 20th, 2021

D-day 4 years later

Today is the 4th anniversary of D-Day #1. I don't post in this forum very often because sometimes I get triggered by reading here too much. But I just felt like I needed a public acknowledgement of some kind, of what I've survived in the last four years.

H and I had a productive conversation tonight about what happened that day, a conversation he initiated; how he had told me in a marriage counseling session that he didn't want to be married anymore, and how, when we got home, for some reason I've never been able to figure out, I asked him if he was having an affair. We talked about how I felt (actually sort of relieved that this nightmare of a marriage as it was, was finally over), what I did (kicked him out), who I reached out to, etc.

But today was actually the first time H really talked about how alone he felt that day; it was definitely his bottom, although he bounced around in that bottom for a few weeks as more revelations came out. Just a week earlier, the last bitch terminated a pregnancy, after she intentionally got pregnant, despite his very verbal wishes that he did not wish to have any more kids. So he felt guilty about that (she volunteered to terminate the pregnancy, despite him telling her he would do the 'right' thing by her). But then she lost it on him, telling him that everything was his fault, that her life was ruined forever because of him.

I didn't mean to get into whose fault what was, but it sort of illustrates exactly how low he was feeling the day I kicked him out. I do think it's progress that he's now acknowledging other feelings he felt that day, than guilt and shame.

So today starts the anniversary period of several major revelations over the next few weeks, even though it was really over with this last bitch.

We're actually in such a better place in our marriage than we ever were - he's still working hard to understand why he did what he did, and how his defense mechanisms (ability to majorly compartmentalize) allowed him to hurt me so badly. But yea, four years out, and I still have so many visuals of what happened on D-Day #1, and it still sucks.

7 comments posted: Thursday, June 10th, 2021

What's with airplane travel these days???

I can't tell you how many stories I've read in the last couple of weeks of passengers going berserk on planes, either losing it over wearing a mask, or keeping their seat belts on, etc. Today was another one... a passenger trying to break into the cockpit mid-flight. I mean, WTH?

We went away a couple of weeks ago, flying on a new airline out of Burbank airport because they had some butt-cheap fares. On our way home, the petite girl sitting in front of me kept her seat reclined the entire time from when she got on the plane until she got off, including takeoff and landing. This, despite the flight attendants announcing that seats must be in an upright condition during take off and landing; when the flight attendants went through the cabin to check on this, either they didn't notice her seat was completely reclined, or they chose not to say anything. I'm wondering if flight crews are just so afraid of passengers these days going off on them, that they choose their battles, and they didn't want to die on the hill of making someone raise their seat back. I'll have to admit, I may have gotten a little passive aggressive as I would reposition myself, bumping into the back every now and then once it was clear she was going to go against the rules. fwiw... I noticed the person sitting in front of her did not have her seat back reclined, so this petite girl (I'm guessing late teens/early 20s) did not need the extra leg room. AND... this airline actually offers really decent leg room; we expected way less, given it's a no-frills start-up. This was the first time we've flown in over 18 months.

We're flying from coast to coast in 2.5 weeks, and I'm not looking forward to it. We did splurge on first-class tickets, so I'm thinking, geez, what if someone tries to get into the cockpit during our flight... people in first-class are the closest to the drama.

I never used to be the kind of person who spent the time at the gate waiting to board to check out other passengers, but I'm starting to become that person, and I hate it.

12 comments posted: Friday, June 4th, 2021

Shelf life for makeup?

In the last year, I can probably count on one hand how often I wore anything than some occasional mascara and eye liner.

I solely use Jane Iredale makeup, except for my mascara and eye liner. I really like the brand. But I'm realizing that some of that eye shadow, blush, concealer, and foundation have probably been sitting in my makeup drawer for two years.

Do I need to take the plunge and start over with this stuff? I know if I go to the Jane Iredale makeup counter at Macy's, I will get a lecture that you should only keep this stuff for six months, or a year, or whatever they say, so I'm sure they'll tell me I shouldn't be using it.

D's wedding is in three weeks, so I will be wearing makeup for the several days that our family and her fiance's are all together. Interestingly, when D did her trial makeup session a couple of weeks ago, the makeup person used Jane Iredale, and said she'd be using it the day of the wedding on those who get their makeup done with her. It's her go-to brand.

5 comments posted: Thursday, June 3rd, 2021

Hair blow dryers vs. volumizers

So a couple of weeks ago, I impulse purchased a Revlon hair volumizer at Costco when it was on sale... $39.99. I fell in love with it at first use, not even knowing what I was doing. My grays (that are colored) make my hair sort of frizzy. If I want my hair to look finished, then I previously was drying it with a normal hair dryer, then using a flat iron to smooth it out. But the flat ironing made it really straight, with no volume.

Introduce the volumizer, and I'm able to dry and straighten my hair at the same time, AND give it volume, so it doesn't look stuck to my head (my hair's length is between my collar bone and chest). Seriously, the first time I used it, it looked like it did after I went to my hair salon for the first time in 14 months, about three weeks ago. It just felt so light and airy.

So I told D that I'd bought one, and she told me to be careful, that volumizers can damage the hair because they get so hot; I did a little research, and yes, people say it can damage the hair if you're not careful. I've just spent the last 14 months growing it out... I don't want to damage it, especially given that D's wedding is in four weeks!

So, enter the Dyson Airwrap Styler, their version of a volumizer (with some other useful attachments that would allow me to get rid of all my hair tools, curling iron, etc.) It's expensive, really expensive, but the technology doesn't damage your hair like the other volumizers can. D has it, and likes it (her hair is very fine), but says I'd probably be fine just to keep the Revlon for now, and when I go in to see my stylist in three weeks, ask her opinion. Now, D washes her hair every day; I wash my hair, probably three times a week, so that's all I use the Revlon product now. D says since I only use it three times a week, I'll be fine and won't damage my hair.

Anyone here have any experience with styling volumizers and damage to the hair? Honestly, I'm wondering how much damage it can get in comparison to when I dry my hair with a blow dryer and then use the flat iron on it. Seriously, even using just the blow dryer and not the flat iron, my hair looks pretty wild. The volumizer is amazing.

2 comments posted: Saturday, May 29th, 2021

What a crazy housing market

I've talked with several people across the country where the housing market is absolutely insane. Some people are saying it was instigated by COVID and people wanting to work from home more permanently. I think it's a combination of that and absurdly low interest rates.

A family member in the Boston area is experiencing this first hand. Has put in offers WAY above asking price on at least five houses, only to come in second or third place. They are getting so discouraged. And yes, they are a couple both now working from home in a 900 square foot condo, so they need more space.

At least there, the typical scenario is... a house gets listed Tuesday-Friday, has either open houses or appts. on Sat.-Sun., and all offers are due in either Monday or Tuesday by noon. Some of these houses have almost 70 people touring them in person. Then they have up to 30 offers the sellers have to sort through.

Buyers are making all cash offers, waiving contingencies (including inspections) and of course, writing love letters. If you really like what you see online and think you will probably make an offer, you hire your inspector to tour the house with you, so he/she can look for any glaring defects.

Our realtor here in CA says the same thing is going on here. I know it's going on in the D.C. metro area, too.

It's just crazy. Anyone else here, hear of similar stories? I don't know what to say to this family member who is so frustrated by the process. They've been going through this ritual since late January with no luck. We're talking about houses that are $1M and up. Lots and lots of buyers for them. I say, "Whaaaaat?"

26 comments posted: Friday, April 23rd, 2021

Mother of the bride dresses

With all 17 people in attendance due to get their vaccines by late June, D1 has scheduled her wedding.

I started some preliminary looking online for MOB dresses, and am getting very frustrated. I've spent around 2-3 hours online. I got my MOB dress for D2 at BHLDN, and LOVED it! It was long, formal and perfect!

D has not given me any instructions on what she wants me in (she lives on the other coast, so no opportunity for her to go shopping with me before the wedding) - she said it doesn't matter if it's long or short; obviously the only caveat is that it's not white. She is wearing a casual white wedding dress. D2 and I will both be vaccinated fully in two weeks, so we figured sometime in early May, we'd hit some stores, including BHLDN. I happened to be near a Nordstrom (my always go-to store) earlier this week, and just decided to do a quick walk-through, to see what their inventory of special occasion dresses is. UGH... since the pandemic, and there not being many special occasions, they basically got rid of that department. They do have a lot online, and just a few in the store, so I have ruled out Nordstroms as a place for D2 and I to look next month. I'm starting to wonder if all the high-end department stores are going to be like Nordstroms when we get there. I'm thinking, Bloomingdales, Saks Fifth Avenue, etc. Will they also have just a few dresses in the store for me to try on?

I don't know where to turn at this point. I stopped at a couple of small boutiques this week, and was told they're really not getting in any dresses, that the ones they have, aren't selling. I don't want to go to any place like a David's Bridal, but may have to consider a boutique bridal shop perhaps.

I'm willing to spend several hundred dollars because I won't need any shoes; I've still got a pair of gorgeous nude, wedge sandals from D2's wedding, and because I already have shoes, I am willing to spend more on the dress than I did for D2.

I have no idea where in LA are the special occasion dress stores, other than Rodeo Drive, and I just don't see myself going down there (but if I'm desperate, I will). I keep thinking there must be some alternatives that I haven't thought of.

Oh, I did order one dress online from Nordstrom - funny thing is I saw it, and really liked, it, but they didn't have it in my size - not even close; then I was looking a few days later to send to a friend (so she could see what kind of dress I was looking for), and lo and behold, it was available in a size larger than I usually wear, so I ordered it (it must have been a return since it wasn't available a few days earlier). If I like it, and it can be altered, I may not need to look around.

Any ideas?

25 comments posted: Friday, April 2nd, 2021

Man oh man - Bryce Canyon NP and Zion NP

I have a friend who has a VRBO in northern AZ around the Lake Powell area. It was a long drive for us from SoCal, but I had to getaway after realizing how much vaccine envy was getting me down (ironically, I qualified for and got my first shot the day after returning). We took all food we needed for breakfast, lunch and snacks, and ordered takeaway for dinner, so no need to go into any stores, etc.

While in AZ, we did a two-hour privately chartered (just me, H and boat captain) on Lake Powell, hiked a slot canyon that was open (I never really knew what a slot canyon was until then), saw Horseshoe Bend, hiked along the Colorado River in Lee's Ferry, learned about toadstool hoodoos (yup, that's a thing) on another hike, and went to the Glen Canyon Dam overlook (tours were closed).

But on Wednesday, we left AZ and drove to Bryce Canyon NP. It was absolutely stunning. We drove to the end of the main road (about 17 miles from the entrance), and hit a bunch of overlooks on our way back. They'd recently had snow, so there were still a few patches on the ground here and there, but there were spires and cliffs that still had some snow resting on them. I took a ton of pictures (got a nice new mirrorless Nikon camera as an early birthday present), and the contrast between the red spires/rocks, the white snow, and blue sky were phenomenal. We couldn't do any hiking on trails, though, because we had our dog with us, and in national parks, dogs are only allowed on paved trails (one trail we took here was one-mile RT and paved, so we did that one), but man we saw some trails I wish we could have done that take you down into the canyons - I would have loved to see the spires from the perspective of looking up as opposed to all the looking down on them that we were able to do.

Then instead of taking the quickest route back to I-15, to drive home, we drove through Zion NP. It was about 5:30-6:30 when we drove through, so the light wasn't as brilliant as it was when we were in Bryce, but it was still beautiful. There was a one-mile long tunnel that had a couple of lookouts (but no stopping allowed in the tunnel) that I really wished we could have stopped at, and gotten out of our car. We loved Zion, too, but unfortunately didn't have enough time to spend there to do any exploring. Even if we had, again, we had the dog, and could have only stayed on paved trails.

All in all, we drove 710 miles on Wednesday - I had to get home Thursday for my first vaccine!

So I'm wondering how many people here have done Bryce and/or Zion, and was your experience as magical as ours?

1 comment posted: Friday, March 26th, 2021

Vaccine envy

I didn't want to hijack the other thread, so here it is. I am so jealous of people who have gotten their vaccine(s). Monday morning, when the new CDC guidelines came out saying fully-vaccinated people could be in the same room without a mask, it made me realize people are going to be able to start hugging others again, and it made me sad.

Please understand, I'm happy for those who have gotten it, for it means better news for everyone, including those not vaccinated yet. But it just sucks to still be in limbo. H got his first vaccine on Saturday (eligible through work), and I am just no where near being eligible at only 60 years old, and no unmanaged chronic health conditions.

All this being said, I should be grateful that I don't have some horrible chronic illness that qualifies me, and that I'm not five years older right now, but I really just am SO ready to be done with this. I am thrilled that nursing home guidance is changing so some of those residents can see family (or even other residents) again. Honestly, IMO, I think my 30-something daughter, who has asthma and cannot work from home, should be getting it before me, but so far it's not looking like that will happen. I wish the guidance in our state wouldn't go from 65+ to 40+. I wish they'd stair-step it down to 60 or 55, then 55 or 50, then 40. Because once they open up that next age tier, I'll be competing for appts. with 40-year olds.

Most of my friends are now vaccinated, due to their age, or the fact that they're still working in fields that make them eligible. I'm just feeling really left behind.

Also, some states are now lowering ages to the place where I would be qualified if I lived there (NY, AK); I wish CA would do that, but there are still too many vulnerable people who haven't gotten it, so I understand why they can't do that yet.

I haven't been to a restaurant in over a year, haven't been to a hair salon in over a year, haven't hugged my local daughter in over a year, etc. I got sloppy yesterday at my pity party, and did decide to get a pedicure... my first one in over a year after poking a hole through one of my Bombas. The place was basically empty and she did a quick job, they feel so cleaned up. But it's a slippery slope, and I need to be diligent. Other than H, I won't tell anyone about the pedicure - my kids wouldn't be happy. So I'm confessing here.

I know, I just need to hold out for a few more weeks.

21 comments posted: Wednesday, March 10th, 2021

Making homemade peanut butter during Covid19

Two of our closest grocery stores have grinders in them so you could make your own peanut butter or almond butter. You basically grabbed a plastic container next to the machine, turned the grinder on, and out came peanut butter into your container. Pure peanuts... nothing added to them. This is how I like my peanut butter.

Of course, with COVID, those grinders were taken off the floor - no self serve. I kept waiting to see if somewhere in the store, maybe at the deli or something, they'd have the store employees do it for you, but no luck.

I refuse to buy peanut butter in a jar/plastic container, as even the ones with no added sugars or salt, add oil to them, and you have to stir them. When you grind your own, there's no separation of peanut butter and oil to stir every time you use it.

We have a Vitamix, but I'm not sure if it could handle it without adding oil. We need a new food processor - the one we have must be 20 years old and is no longer reliable, so I'm in the market for a replacement.

I'm wondering if a food processor would be a better bet for grinding peanuts, so I should get one with a really strong motor, or just rely on my Vitamix.

Basically I just want to grind plain, roasted peanuts with no oil, no sweetener, and very little salt that I'd add.

5 comments posted: Tuesday, February 9th, 2021

Crowd sourcing printers - laser or inkjet?

I've fallen for the latest inkjet printer scam... the printer is dirt cheap, but the color cartridges hardly last very long and I feel like we're constantly replacing them. I don't want to get into refilling them, because again, I'd constantly be going somewhere to do so. I literally am changing one or other of the color cartridges almost every month.

So we're considering getting a laser printer since we really don't have much that we need color for. But we're reading that you shouldn't get a laser printer unless you plan to print a lot, much more than we print. We may print 20 pages a month.

Also want the ability to copy and scan. Don't need a fax.

We know laser printers are more expensive, but in the end, what you save on color cartridges may make up for it. We have a ton of credit card points that I can use to get one.

So make your case for what you have, why, and how it's working for you.

14 comments posted: Thursday, January 28th, 2021

Countdown to Winter Solstice

It's creeping up on us! But it's just around the corner.

Anyone else looking forward to Dec. 21st? Or even better, Dec. 22nd, when the days start getting longer again?

With the EUA this week of the COVID vaccine, and the prospect of more sunshine in nine more days (even if it's just the principle and it's barely noticeable), I'm thinking I might survive this clusterfuck of 2020.

This is the light at the end of the tunnel!

27 comments posted: Sunday, December 13th, 2020

Holiday preparations

I am WAAAAAAAY ahead of the game, more so than I've been in my entire life. Mostly due to COVID.

I usually feel good if I get my holiday cards sent out by January 1st (usually do them after Christmas). They went in the mail on Monday. I didn't send any out last year, so I needed to get them out early this year so I could give people our new address.

Today I wrapped 15 presents! I have to send eight of those to D and her fiancĂ© in Boston, so I wanted to get my shopping done early, so I could get them wrapped and shipped in time to arrive well before Christmas. This will be the first Christmas she's spent without us. 😢

I still have five more gifts waiting to be delivered, hopefully in the next week, but I am done with shopping. D in Boston is shipping our gifts to D here, and is shipping D's gifts here to our house, so we can each wrap each other's presents, and deliver them to each other. So I will have those gifts to wrap when they arrive. But I'm 90% done with wrapping.

I still need to put together holiday cards and cash for service people... gardener, Pilates teacher, personal trainer and housekeeper. In the past, I also put that off until the week before Christmas. Actually, since I don't see my Pilates teacher or personal trainer in person, I might just Venmo them the money.

I usually do our annual charitable giving December 30th or 31st, but hope to get that done next week.

We got our Christmas tree up on Sunday, but still have other decorations to get up, maybe this weekend. Not sure I'm going to put everything up this year since it will be an abbreviated Christmas with D who lives nearby. They usually go to her H's family's place about five hours from here, but that is being canceled this year, so they will come over long enough to unwrap presents and eat dinner.

But I'm feeling pretty impressed about how organized I am this year; too bad it's for the wrong reasons. Maybe I just want the holidays to be over because it means 2021 is around the corner, and it HAS to be better, right?

7 comments posted: Wednesday, December 2nd, 2020

How to get tree sap off clothes

On Tuesday I sat outside in a wooded area on our church grounds to meditate. When I got up, yep, parts of me stuck to the wooden slat bench because it had tree sap on it. Without thinking, I picked up my purse, and slung it over my shoulder, but my purse had sap on it, and it rubbed off on my shirt. These were workout clothes, but nice workout clothes. We tried step #1... just washing them regularly, but that did nothing.

What's the next thing we should try? Goof Off? Alcohol? Turpentine?

The fabric is mostly polyester, with a little bit of spandex for both the top and bottom.

3 comments posted: Friday, November 6th, 2020

What is a Google verification code?

I got a recorded phone call tonight on my cell, as well as a text message telling me of my Google phone verification code. I have no idea what this is about.

I haven't requested anything. Has something been hacked? I don't have my phone number listed on Facebook or anything.

2 comments posted: Monday, November 2nd, 2020

Possible Celiac Disease in family member

I've been sitting on this for a couple of weeks - D1 had a colonoscopy and upper endoscopy last month. Bloodwork done before the procedures did not indicate Celiac. But biopsies from the upper endoscopy show she does. So her GI doc said to spend a few days eating a ton of gluten, then get bloodwork done again. Then she is to go gluten-free for 4-6 weeks to see what happens. So she's just started the gluten-free protocol. Her second round of bloodwork did not show any nutritional deficiencies. Not sure about the Celiac marker (forgot to ask her - that result was coming after the other results). She suspects the only way they're going to be able to tell if she truly has it, is going to be by doing another upper endoscopy after going gluten-free to see if the villi are healing.

She has some symptoms that are consistent with Celiac, and some that aren't. She has actually had weight gain over the years, despite having what she thought was IBD (always runny stools); and again, she has no nutritional deficiencies. But she has thinning hair - this was a kid who, when she was young, I thought we were going to get charged extra when I took her for a hair cut because her hair was so thick (straight, but THICK); she also was having some issues with GERD until she lost some weight with effort; she also has been diagnosed with arthritis in one of her digits; also has anxiety - the arthritis and anxiety, I had always attributed to genetics since my mom had RA really bad (although I don't). Oh, she also was diagnosed with microscopic colitis (which I had once when I was titrated up on an SSRI too quickly). So she definitely has a cluster of things going on, which I always sort of dismissed as due to anxiety, but now I'm rethinking everything in response to this upper endoscopy.

I feel so bad for her - she's coming out to see us in a couple of weeks - I think between getting engaged and getting this diagnosis, she just needs to see mom and dad. She will be getting COVID tested just prior to coming, and quarantine between the test and traveling. She's also flying first class on a plane that has the pods so she is fairly removed from anyone around her.

With these diagnoses, and my genetic mutation (although neither of my kids inherited my genetic mutation for Lynch Syndrome), my younger daughter is now being advised to have a colonoscopy and upper endoscopy. When she got genetic testing, although she didn't test positive for my mutation, there was a questionable mutation of another gene that could increase her chances of certain cancers. So they will check her for Celiac, too.

14 comments posted: Sunday, September 20th, 2020

The Body Keeps the Score: Brain, Mind, and Body...

Was wondering if anyone has read this book by Bessel A. van der Kolk? Thoughts? WH is reading it right now, but he's reading it from a different perspective than I am (BW). I have very early childhood (infant, toddler) medical trauma, as well as affair trauma. His trauma is parents who were alcoholics.

9 comments posted: Monday, February 24th, 2020

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