Me 46BS Him 48WH Married 25 Y DDay #1 11/13/2017 DDay #2 1/22/2018 Attempting R since DDay #2

A cold sore ruined my day?

I was planning on writing a nice "4 year update soon" but something happened last night and now I’m in a spiral

H was getting ready to shower and I was looking at his face and I saw a weird whitish patch above his lip in the corner of the mustache area (for context my husband is a POC). I said "what’s that on your face?" He said "huh" and came over and sat next to me so I could look. At first we assumed he had an ingrown hair as those happen in his beard area a lot. He said "get your tweezers out" so I start examining it and it looked a little scabby and the more I messed with it, I said "this looks like a cold sore" I immediate became distressed. He has had cold sores in the past but I haven’t seen one on him in like 15 years I swear. He looked at it and said "yeah it does look like that" I immediately go into "stare at the wall mode" He takes a shower and comes out and says "so are we going to talk about this?" Because he knows what I’m thinking. I’m thinking he messed around with someone. He assures me as always that he hasn’t (PS we are the weird couple who stays on the phone basically all day because this is what has helped me feel secure) There was only one time I was off the phone with him last week for a couple hours while talking to my sister. Anyway, he gets on Google and starts looking up causes for cold sores and telling me but the whole time I’m just shut down. I didn’t sleep well, I still feel upset today. Am I overreacting? We did have Covid in January, he did have a stressful week with work last week due to Super Bowl. I just can’t get these bad thoughts out of my head. My main issue is I broke out with HSVG during his A and I had never had one in my life and I’ll never know if he passed it to me from AP or I already had it at it just surfaced due to stress. As a side note, things have been really good with R and I had finally felt like "maybe I can be a normal person again soon" so I really hate this stupid curveball. I don’t feel in my heart he’s done anything but I can’t stop feeling upset.

10 comments posted: Friday, February 18th, 2022