Newest Member: Definedbygrace


When things go wrong, don’t go with them. Elvis


I just sent you a pm

0 comment posted: Saturday, February 5th, 2022

A true story

Always Yours, Bee is a memoir of what happened to a happy family in SF. The husband was hit and run over. The ER thought he had a mild concussion. It was a serious brain injury. He turned into an unlovable, and unloving, man. For months and months his wife and three small children lived with the turmoil this caused. Where this book meets our stories is when he embarks on an affair that nearly killed his wife. It is a true story, and gut wrenching. She became mentally ill. If it sounds too much to read then don’t. For the rest it is a perfect book for a WS to read. I have never read anything near this gripping, and honest, about what an affair does to the BS. There is a good ending but it was so close to not being one.
It’s a five star for me.

0 comment posted: Tuesday, December 28th, 2021

Childhood traumas

I have watched, many times, a TED talk by Dr. Nadine Burke Harris about the lifelong issues people have who had serious traumas in their childhoods. 20 year difference in life expectancy.

So many bs come here with spouses who have had unbelievably traumatic times growing up so it isn’t surprising that they can’t cope with being adults. Some of them run from responsibility, some become addicts to alcohol and other drugs, gambling and sex. Their innocent spouses are often blindsided by the discovery of their dark sides. IC is so necessary for both even if the marriage fails. You can’t be an adult if you were so damaged as a child that you had no chance to grow up emotionally. All your energy went into trying to make sense of the senseless, dangerous things in your life. It takes time and energy to learn things. You can’t do that if your life is filled with terror and sadness.

I think once a bs faces reality it is so important to get legal advice, medical help(including tests), and therapy. You were traveling down the road in one direction and an emotional tornado turned you in a completely different direction. Without help and support how do you manage?

9 comments posted: Thursday, December 16th, 2021

Being kind

We have probably lost a poster because of some arguments between two or more other people. There are moderators here for a reason. If we think something is over the top, or is a troll, all we have to do is contact the moderators and they will handle it. Sometimes people come on here and tell us outrageous things they have done that may or may not meet our standards of good behavior. We weren’t there, We don’t know what happened. All we know is what somebody wrote about some agony they were in and their behavior. Years ago a married woman was so overwrought that she admitted she slapped her husband. The amount of vitriol that was poured on this poor woman sent her right off this site. That’s not what anybody is here for, I hope. I don’t have any dogs in these fights because my issue was settled years ago. I think I’ve got some wisdom based on my job and my life experiences and I sincerely hope I have never harmed another person emotionally here but if I have I sincerely apologize. Please let’s all realize that people come on here in absolute pain and panic. Let’s be kind.

41 comments posted: Wednesday, November 3rd, 2021

No new members posting

Where are the newbies?

11 comments posted: Sunday, August 8th, 2021


It does not appear to have any new members able to appear here

0 comment posted: Sunday, August 8th, 2021

Mod please

Mod, please

1 comment posted: Thursday, February 18th, 2021

Michael Lewis

He wrote Liars Poker and The Big Short about what goes so wrong on Wall Street.

For those of us trying to find deals at the grocery store, or for medicine, or new tires etc these books explain a lot of why we are where we are.

4 comments posted: Friday, September 18th, 2020

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