Newest Member: SoBeyondLost17

BigBlueEyes

Me- BW, 47 Multi Dday's, DB A's x 2 BFF Multi ONS's, Online shit. Serial cheat, Abuser, D 18.02.20 Stay strong, just because it’s hard today, doesn’t mean that next week it won’t get easier!!

Life doesn’t get much better than this...

Absolutely bursting with pride & love,

Grandchild no 8 has made his way into our world.

My beautiful daughter has given birth to her 1st baby today, safe & healthy weighing 8lb 1oz, he’s a proper bruiser.

17 comments posted: Sunday, March 7th, 2021

Happy Divorced day to me 💪

1 year today I got legal confirmation of a brand new beginning,

1 year today my ex got legal confirmation he could no longer abuse me under the pretence of marriage!!

I will never forget

Everything I have gone through,

All the times I pushed on even though I thought I couldn’t,

All the mornings I got out of bed no matter how hard it was,

All the times I wanted to give up but I got through another day,

I’ll never ever forget how strong I was & still am,

I’ll never forget I’m a motherfudgingbadass!!!!

Thank you SI & all that had a hand in getting me to where I am today....you literally saved my life

As for my Ex....fuck you from the bottom of my heart

23 comments posted: Thursday, February 18th, 2021

Shark infested waters?

Do I or do I not want to date again?

I think I want the excitement,

I miss the butterflies,

I want to...um you can fill in the blank here

BUT I'm scared,

I'm scared of soooo much

I'm scared I won't be good enough,

I'm scared I will be manipulated again,

I'm scared someone will put me in another corner,

I'm scared of being silenced again,

im scared of so much more

I've worked my ass off to be the strong independent woman I used to be, but what if its just not enough & I get sucker punched again, I barely survived the first time around, I'm just not sure I could do it again.

The last time I swam with sharks I was 18 yrs old, for close to 30 yrs I was eaten alive by my XWH.

Now I feel at 48 its very daunting.

I don't know what Im looking for in particular, I think I just need reassuring that this is normal, maybe? that these feeling aren't unusual?

I guess what I'm asking... is the risk worth it? Or am I better being alone?

At my age the dating pool seems very murky

12 comments posted: Wednesday, November 18th, 2020

For Scooby’s friends

Not sure of the protocol on here,

Please delete if this is the wrong way to do this.

Hello I’m Scooby’s eldest son.

My mums in the hospital after a hit & run the beginning of the week,

She’s badly bruised with a few broken ribs, lots of cuts etc, but thankfully she will make a full recovery.

My dad was released last Friday after the last attempt on her life so naturally we are pretty convinced it was him, esp given the fact he has been found attempting to leave the country via ferry to France.

She had been under police guard till his arrest so hopefully now he’s locked up again she can come home where we can look after her,

However he seems to have an alibi for the time & place it happened so I guess we will wait & see what transpires with the police investigation.

Thank you to everyone for you’re well wishes & messages she will be very grateful

44 comments posted: Friday, October 18th, 2019

Will it all come crashing down around me!

So hear it is,

My waiting is over, Tomorrow is the day I finally find out what my future entails,

Will I continue being/feeling 'safe' or will it come crashing down all around me!

Restraining orders are all in place, me, my home, my street, my kids, my kids homes & streets, my dad, my dads home & street, my GC schools & all our work places.

I only hope we have enough to protect all of us not just me.

ETA...maybe I should of RAN when I had the chance

[This message edited by BigBlueEyes at 4:27 AM, October 10th (Thursday)]

19 comments posted: Thursday, October 10th, 2019

No more Doom & Gloom

This is my new beginning,

This is my realisation that I have moved out of Infidelity,

(LIKE SERIOUSLY I'M OUT OF INFIDELITY)

I'm under no-ones thumb,

I'm in control of my life, for the 1st time in soooo damn long I am living MY life.

I posted a response on someone else's thread, then after rereading it I realised the words I typed I meant them, like really really meant them, I didn't have to go back over to auto correct, add in missed words, add in forgotten points, I didn't have to edit for absolutely anything as its my truth, Its my new beginning said straight from my mended heart.

Im not some weak, mild mannered, little scrap of a person anymore, I'm no longer a shell of my former self, I'm no longer the 1 in the corner saying nothing, I'm no longer trying to be as small as I can be.

I'm no longer that person who can be bullied or manipulated by anyone.

Now I'm Brave, BIGGER, outspoken without being brash or argumentative.

I don't stay in corners trying to be small, I'm amongst the crowd, talking, laughing, having an opinion, participating & conversing with EVERYONE.

Mentally & physically I am fitter, healthier, & stronger than I've ever been.

I'm comfortable in most situations now, I check for exits & escape routes etc but other than that I'm now relaxed in most situations.

I do make a point of not looking for ulterior motives in peoples actions & words as I don't want to become cynical or bitter.

I'm now happy & proud of the woman I have become

SI & its wonderfully insightful members have given me support, guidance, genuine warmth, lots of hugs & strength during my time spent here,

I truly wouldn't be here today if it wasn't for all of you.

Thank you from the bottom of my heart to you all (you know who you are)

BBE's has become a force to be reckoned with

12 comments posted: Monday, September 23rd, 2019

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