Newest Member: recoveringTTer


Today is 4 years since the “day”!

I’ll never forget this day, ever!
It changed my entire EVERYTHING!
Our "anniversary" is 7/6/2013, but since I discovered his other life, NOTHING has been celebrated.
To sum it up….
Met online 2008.
Married 2013.
I have 2 kids from previous marriage.
He and I dated for a year before I introduced him to them.
He lived 4 hours from me.
Visited me often.
Bought a house together, married, got dogs, had family picnics, etc.
Seemed to be the "perfect" relationship.
Discovered on this very day, 4 years ago, that he had been with someone else, years before me!
I can’t even explain the feelings of finding out!
Couldn’t possibly tell my kids, because they looked up to him so much.
Couldn’t possibly tell my family, for many reasons…
Still married, as a convenience, but more so, to protect my side of the family.
Pretty much summarizing today, as the "day".
Not looking for advice, but support!

8 comments posted: Saturday, June 25th, 2022

Today is 4 years since the “day”! (moved to General)

  This Topic has been moved to General

0 comment posted: Saturday, June 25th, 2022

Still in the Just Found Out Stage…after almost 4 years!

6/24/18 was dday.
Not a day/minute/second has gone by without thoughts of my betrayal, since i found out!
Still married, my choice…for many reasons.
As of current, everything else is good in my life except my marriage!
Am I the only one in this position?
I can’t look at him the same, for one second!
He’s trying, but the damage is soooo deep, that there is no coming back from this, to me.
I’m too old to throw this "institution" away.
We’re merely ships passing in the wind.
I don’t feel sorry for myself, but I am beyond angry at him still!
There’s no amount of therapy can sway my feelings…I’ve already come to terms with this.
I have not only mourned the death of who I thought I married, but as a result I’ve become completely independent from him.
It’s certainly NOT what I signed up for, but it is what it is.
Funny, he made mention to me as to why I don’t cook for him anymore…(he’s mentioned this more than once).
It spears my heart every time he says it and I recently said…"You made that choice! Not me."
It kicked him back a little, but I had to say it.
As I no longer do fraction of what I did for him before.
HE made this choice and I don’t feel bad one bit.

Can anyone else relate?

See my profile for details.

I’m open for any discussion

-checked out

27 comments posted: Tuesday, April 19th, 2022

Odd question from cheating husband…

So, my husband, whom I am still married to, who previously lived two different lives, and who still may be…said this to me…
"So, Bob, asked if you were working next Saturday, and if you were, he wanted to me to go out with him."
Side note, I know Bob. And my husband recently referred to him as a "dog".
My husband played dumb…. And said "that’s weird.
I replied…"well clearly he doesn’t want me to join, so maybe he just wants to go out with you."
I honestly don’t care…
I feel like he wants me to keep encouraging him.

8 comments posted: Monday, November 15th, 2021

I never got the answer “why” from him.

After being with him since 2008, we married in 2013, found out he was living a double life in 2018, since before he met & married me!
Nothing has been reconciled, we’re miserabley married still , but he’s never answered as to why!
I’m stuck, unless I hit the lottery!

36 comments posted: Monday, August 23rd, 2021

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