Newest Member: SoBeyondLost17


September 26 1987 I married a monster. Slowly healing from Complex PTSD. I Need Peace. Fiat Lux. Buddha’s Love Saves Me 🙏🏼

How has Infidelity Betrayal changed you?

I have been reading a lot lately about how to improve my mental health and depression.

My WS was an abusive serial cheater but I had his back despite his lack of remorse. I stayed and supported him and even defended him when others said some awful but honest things about him.

I know that we often vent here and there was a time that I resisted telling anyone how awful my WS and marriage were.

But, something has changed in me. I was once protective of WS. I longer feel that. I care about him as I would another fellow human being who has caused me so much trauma, in that I no longer care.

I feel soulless where my WS is concerned and I truly despair that such evil has destroyed me.

32 comments posted: Sunday, July 11th, 2021

Psychobiological Approach Couple Therapy

Has anyone ever tried this.

What was your experience and outcome.

0 comment posted: Thursday, May 20th, 2021

I Need To Apologize

To everyone here on SI, I owe you all an apology.

When I joined SI, I was, so I thought dealing with Infidelity.

I had buried the past abuse and trauma so deeply that all I was focused on was the most recent betrayals.

So in a year, I have dug deep and had to deal with 35 years of abuse perpetrated on me by my abusive WH.

I now understand that I have Complex PTSD.

It wasn’t WH’s infidelity that drove me to the brink, it was that he just wouldn’t leave me in peace.

I wanted him out of my life so badly and he knew it, so he went about abusing me in every way possible, cheating was just a small part of the abuse.

Thank you to everyone here for suffering through this with me.

I am no longer suicidal and receiving support for the mental health issues that I now suffer.

I have learnt so much and have come a long way this year. 🙏🏼

7 comments posted: Sunday, May 2nd, 2021

Advice on D from a Selfish Greedy Wayward

Has anyone or is anyone else divorced or trying to divorce a Selfish Narcissistic Wayward who also happens to be an only child?

My STBXWH just keeps changing our agreement and stalling Divorce proceedings and refuses to accept the financial settlement out of sheer greed.

We have 3 adult children who each have a trust fund. WH now wants the money which we put in trust for our children to be divided between the two of us and not distributed to our children as he feels they are not deserving of the money. He is so greedy. Our children are all aware of the trusts. I don’t want to involve them in the divorce but I am fighting WH on this.

Further, Our DS who still lives with WH calls venting about All the unnecessary spending and waste of money he sees. WH does not buy groceries but buys a very expensive home gym and new laptop. We are in lockdown so Gyms are still Temporarily closed.

I am financially supporting both Sons due to job loses due to Covid. I just can’t keep up with WH spending on himself

and squandering money. I know he is hiding cash from me as DS tells me that WH appears to have a endless supply of it.

7 comments posted: Monday, September 14th, 2020

Divorcing A Convicted Criminal Dilemma

I have a massive dilemma.

I want to push WH to complete divorce proceedings Now!

Police want to charge him with an unlawful assault on me. I hope to be divorced before he faces this charge and the matter goes before a judge for sentencing. I have a 12 month court ordered AVO against him. So he cannot contact me without being immediately arrested and jailed.

My lawyer was dealing with his lawyer on the Divorce issue.

Last time we were trying to negotiate Divorce and financial settlements he turned very nasty. Hiding, stealing money and refusing to work to earn any income. Pushing for a better deal for himself to ensure he gets more and is looked after by me.

Under the current circumstances I expect that he will become even nastier. He is financially dependent on me as he still works in my business, just different offices. I pay him well so he can continue to pay his share of mortgage and live well.

My lawyer wants me to get financial settlement completed before anything else so if he goes to jail, I won’t have to deal with him when he gets out. It sounds callous, I know but I never want to see him again or deal with him after jail. I promised that he will be well looked after in the settlement. When he gets out of jail he will have enough in the bank to look after himself.

I want to use his jail time to set myself up very far from here and disappear from his life for good.

My lawyer wants me to hold Police off until we are done. Even my children want to see him pay for his crimes, just once. He has 2 prior convictions but avoided jail time. A 3rd conviction, he is done.

9 comments posted: Friday, July 17th, 2020

Inspirational Quotes from the Heart

What are your go to Inspirational Quotes to re-awaken your heart.

"Warm-heartedness is the key factor that allows me to smile and be happy, even in the company of strangers."

— Dalai Lama XIV

2 comments posted: Thursday, June 11th, 2020

World Whisky Day

Wow, I know that I have been thinking about drinking a lot lately, but it is World Whisky Day. The event in New York has regrettably been cancelled due to COVID 19.

My prayers go out to those who have been affected and lost their lives. Best wishes to those in recovery.

So, if I were in recovery I would possibly celebrate with Champagne but a nice neat heart warming Whisky would go go nicely as we near Winter.

My choice Whisky, Spirit of Hven MerCurious from Sweden... it’s the real deal 🙏🏼

[This message edited by LadyG at 1:24 AM, May 16th (Saturday)]

2 comments posted: Saturday, May 16th, 2020

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